Rachel’s stock went so downhill this episode. It is not even a discussion. She just stinks. A dreadful waste of time because this episode was purely about Rachel and Gabby was not even worth any time spent. Her time was overtaken by Rachel, and that really hurt the entertainment value of the episode. This was the lest fun episode thus far, without a doubt.

You can easily tell the difference in maturity between Gabby and Rachel in this episode. Just more life experience. Gabby is 31 years old and while she enjoys the attention, she understands that not everyone is going to give it all the time and not everyone is going to give it in the same way. Rachel is 26 and is like the Disney princess who is whining to her bitchy Queen mom that the pretty boys aren’t buying her enough flowers and bowing enough at her feet. It is nuts the amount of attention that Rachel wants to feel appreciated. Girl, you need to learn to live and love by yourself before you go about trying to find love on a reality TV show.

Alright, let’s get to it. Episode four of Rachel and Gabby’s journey on The Bachelorette. (This is going to be a rough one).

SEtting The Table
  • So here we are, creating the storylines for what to look forward too on this episode.
    • Logan wants to go and chase Gabby now and doesn’t want to be with Rachel anymore.
    • Rachel is struggling with three people turning down her roses last episode
    • The crew is heading to France
      • Tino gets a one-on-one date with Rachel
        • Tino’s first real minutes since getting the first impression rose
      • Jason gets a one-on-one date with Gabby
        • We will actually get to know something about Jason now, so that is good!
    • The biggest thing is that is going to be brought up later is Hayden being a little asshole and talking bad about the girls and being rude. That is not going to play well.
    • Do the boys have this massive boat all to themselves??
  • Random thoughts from this opening little borage of content
    • I want to go to France
    • Jesse Palmer can actually speak decent French?
    • Johnny had the only bad French accent.
    • Quincey looks a lot older than 25. Way older than Tyler.
    • Tyler was eating a spoonful of peanut butter.
    • What movie had a huge theme or message about Paris being the best when it is raining?
Rachel & TIno One-on-One
  • Rachel and Tino have a small little one-on-one walking the streets.
  • Tino was holding the umbrella only over Rachel and not worrying about himself
  • Tino and Rachel get to go and make crepes. Kinda of a cool process
    • They don’t actually make the dough though, or the mixture, which is probably the hardest part?
  • Rachel and Tino kiss a lot in the rain. Like a lot lot lot
  • Not a lot happening during the day, but at night we get the dinner portion…BUT IN A CHURCH?
    • Very weird asthetic.
    • How much did they pay to get inside the church?
    • Rachel and Tino’s big conversation is about balancing career and family
      • Tino seems amenable to the idea of a flexible family dynamic
    • Tino was scared to ask about family, which means the optimism he showed about being adaptive in family was not necessarily fully real?
      • I suppose it was a make or break deal for him. Family or no family.
  • Rachel and Tino have a final make out session on the bridge with the keys and lock
    • I guess the keys and locks is no longer a thing? It is affecting the structure of the bridge so it needed to be adapted in order to survive.
  • Both Rachel and Gabby’s one-on-one date are short changed because of all the things that need to happen in this episode with the men being divided up.
Gabby & Jason One-On-One
  • Gabby goes with Jason and begins touring the city
  • The biggest thing about this date was Jason needing to open up because he is an introverted and shy guy. He needed to find his way of expressing himself.
  • In the post credit scene they got to make their own wine and smash their own grapes.
    • Was weird that it was in a store and not at a winery where the wine was actually made.
  • They also went shopping for some French hats, and Jason was beginning to break out his shell
  • The merry go round stage shoot was the cutest thing on the date.
  • So now we get to the dinner portion.
    • Jason opens up about therapy, needing to stand up for himself, and needing to learn how to behave himself.
      • Gabby empathizes because she uses therapy as well and she has the trauma with her mom and not feeling loved.
        • Jason’s problem is that he never feels like he is enough in terms of competing against himself. If he is not the best at something, then he quits.
    • Okay, time for the truth tree here.
      • Jason is trying really, really hard to be himself and that is commendable. He is not used to the attention. He is having a break down, and that is fine. However, he is still really boring.
      • Jason is a normal dude with normal problems that everyone is working through. With that being said, he is not bringing anything super entertaining to the show. He is normal, and normal is not good for TV. Normal may be good for Gabby, but in this environment, is that going to be the winning formula? You need something that hooks you up and keeps you on his side. Right now I am rooting for Jason, but it is for him to find love the normal way outside of the TV show. He is not built for this show, and that is honestly better for him in the long run.
Rachel’s First GRoup Date
  • How the flying fuck did this end up being a Rachel bitch fest when it was Gabby’s date?
    • Rachel, the dudes are watching a sporting event that their friends are partaking in. I am sorry, I wouldn’t have my eyes set on a girl during that time either.
    • Rachel, this is Gabby’s date, so stop commandeering her dates. Gabby didn’t need to do that to you.
    • Rachel, stop making Gabby look like the goody-tooshy bad guy because all the guys really like her. Maybe because it is easier!
    • Rachel, how about you engage in the conversation with the guys? Go over there?
      • Gabby did this when she went to go visit the guys in the mansion, and guess what, she had a legit gripe because she made the effort to go there. And it was not during someone else’s date.
    • Rachel, stop for the love of god, stop needing to be the center of attention the ENTIRE TIME.
  • Spencer did not get any shine for winning this group date at all. We saw nothing from his talk with Gabby and her giving him the rose was silent and projected over voiceover.
  • Spencer has a military background so that explains how it looked like he knew what was doing when sparing. Also he was doing the abs scissor kicks very very easily.
  • Kirk did proposal gimmick in the ring before his fight. That was the only thing we got from him. He has no chance to stay around.
  • Which fights are more entertaining: Rough ‘n Rowdy or The Bachelorette.
    • The easier answer is the bachelorette.
  • Also, random thought, Gabby’s outfit looks great, and Rachel walked in trying a bit too hard.
  • So before Rachel’s own group date tomorrow, she talks to all of her guys who are chilling on the couch and they have NO IDEA what is going on. No idea.
    • Guess what, there is no reason too know what is wrong because you were put in a no-win scenario. Zero chance survival rate for happiness.
    • Rachel is being a baby.
Rachel’s SEcond GRoup Date
  • So now we actually have Rachel’s group date…and it is HORRENDOUS.
  • WTF IS THIS FRENCH KISSING? The super awkward didn’t see you there acknowledgment. All of this is the worst.
  • These random Frenchie’s are experts at love and romance. But some of the advice they gave was just so stupid.
    • The most important communication is non-verbal? That is a blatant lie.
  • The first thing they had to do was flirt with Rachel, in front of everyone.
    • This is my worst nightmare. I hate this date.
    • Zach was really, really bad a flirting.
    • Honestly the only good flirting one was Ethan. He approached it comedically. He approached it like he knew it was all absurd. Because it is all absurd. It is all just insane.
  • I can not believe that this is the type of thing that Rachel says makes her feel seen and appreciated.
  • There is the writing of love letters which I kind of understand. That is cute.
    • Zach’s is really good.
    • In what fucking world is that romantic.
    • How in god’s green earth is this something romantic for anyone? It is not even close. There is nothing good coming from this date.
    • So many of the guys don’t look like they are having a good time, and how could you possibly try and have a good time with all this absurdity?
      • Logan doesn’t want to be doing any of this. Logan doesn’t even want to be here with Rachel. Logan wants to go and hang out with Gabby and her guys. And I don’t blame Logan at all. Logan is the only smart guy in the room right now.
  • Tyler wins the first portion of the group date and he gets the one-on-one time with Rachel in the evening. They share some thoughts and tenderness.
    • The only tangible thing from this conversation is that Tyler will do anything to appease Rachel. He is a puppy dog. He is 25 years old and wants to please. He will (hopefully) grow out of that and then he will be in a better space to see what is clearly happening right in front of anyone’s face.
    • Tyler will a rather huge flex that he just bought a house for he and his ex.
  • I literally have written down in my notes in all caps: “I WANT TO SEE GABBY.”
Cocktail Party
  • So we do have a brief cocktail party, and the star of the show is none other then the super condescending Hayden. They brought up his statements at the top of the show and have James there to hear it all. Now it is all going to come to roost.
  • Okay, before we get to all the things, that happened; Gabby’s purple/magenta dress is STUNNING and Rachel’s is fine. I don’t like the shiny part.
  • Gabby pulls Nate aside first and makes out with him and she really likes him.
  • Now we came to Hayden, and his attempt to redeem himself with his dog.
    • His dog’s name is Rambo. Good name, but shitty owner.
    • Hayden loves this dog more than life itself. It only has a few months to live…but HE LEFT IT? Really you love the dog so much that you would leave it when it can die at any moment?
    • I am sorry, but I have no care in the world about this dog. Really don’t care too much. Not a dog guy.
    • This dog had his head caved in? And you didn’t put it down?
      • Maybe Hayden and Rachel are just perfectly selfish for one another.
  • So Hayden pulls all of this bullshit with his dog and Rachel appears to be buying it kinda sorta until Tino comes over and pulls her aside.
    • Hayden does not like this, and he goes back and bitches at everyone again. Digging his own grave. Just need someone to tell the coroner when to start the process.
      • Here comes James
        • James tells Rachel about everything. He is escaping the dog house. He tells her about Hayden calling them bitches, him comparing Rachel to his exes and his displeasure with them.
          • The most hilarious part of this is that once James tells Rachel, Rachel tells James bye-bye.
    • Rachel pulls Hayden aside and they fight. They scuffle, and they disagree on everything. Hayden denies everything. It goes the normal course.
      • The editors and producers of this show did not want you to like Hayden. They showed the flashbacks. They showed everything there was to dislike. They wanted us the audience to feel like he is a proper exit.
      • Rachel asks to walk him out. Where is he going exactly? Hayden that is? Rachel is walking him off a boat, and he gets into a mini-van…and where does he go?
    • Hayden in his goodbye had some of the worst fake tears for his dog. His love for Rambo may be real, but he is the worst at showing it if it is. I don’t think there is anything redeeming about him in this whole exchange. It may not help that I am not a dog person, but I don’t had any care.
  • Rachel cancels the rest of the cocktail party.
    • Did Gabby have to cancel as well? Like, I fucking hope not. Why did Gabby have suffer for your stupidity in handling all of this situation?
    • More guys not getting a chance to talk with Rachel or Gabby
      • One of these guys is Logan, and he is in a pickle. A theme throughout this whole entire episode was him really wanting to explore things with Gabby but not having the chance because he accepted Rachel’s rose.
        • Now Logan doesn’t have a chance to talk to talk to Gabby or Rachel. DRAMA FOR THE ROSE CEREMONY.
  • Will anyone reject the roses the ladies are hanging out this time around?
    • NATE – Yes
    • AVEN – Yes
    • ERICH – Yes
    • JAMES – Yes
    • JOHNNY – Yes
    • Zach – Yes
    • MICHAEL – Yes
    • ETHAN – Yes
    • MARIO – Yes
    • LOGAN – Yes
      • THE ONLY GENUINE SHOCKER! Thought he would actually turn it down and leave a cliffhanger for next episode. However, he accepts the rose and says that there is still time to pursue a connection with Gabby.
        • Logan, my man, I think you are wrong for thinking that.
  • Kirk, Jordan and Quincy all get sent home in the rose ceremony
    • Kirk, not surprised by at all. He lasted longer that I would have expected.
    • Jordan we got nothing from this episode so not surprised at all either.
    • Quincey a bit surprised. Thought that he would have made it and Michael would have gone home.


Not going to be a lot of big movement this week. I think the proper guys went home. They at least got to go on a trip to France, though as to whether or not everyone got to get off the boat…that is up for debate.

And if we were ranking the women in this, Rachel would dead last. Behind all the guys. The worst.

Four men were eliminated, but one came back. We are down to 14 men. There is a heavy top-tier and then it really follows off.

No. 14


No. 13

He stays alive, and he survives another week being the snitch for Rachel. It is almost like Rachel planted a mole.

No. 12

Second straight week we have gotten nothing from Johnny.

No. 11

Has struggled to find his footing since episode one. He is hanging around by it’s by a thread.


No. 10

Spencer got fucked by Rachel during Gabby’s group date. Justice for Spencer.

No. 9

I empathized a bit with Jason on his introverted self, but that doesn’t mean it was a great date. He was engaging but not super entertaining.

No. 8

Ethan’s comedic approach to the horrendous flirting/romance date scored him a lot of brownie points with me.

No. 7

Tyler is good for Rachel. That is why he is so high on this list. He is a puppy dog who wants to please, and all Rachel wants is to feel coddled.

No. 6


Aven looks so uncomfortable with his shirt off during Rachel’s actual group date. He is a handsome guy but we have seen no depth.

No. 5

Erich (Real Estate Analyst – Bedminster, NJ – 29)
Erich has staying power. It is not winning power (I don’t think) but he always seems one step behind Nate in the charms category.

No. 4

Zach has a good voice, but the one in his head should be telling him to run away.

No. 3

Don’t care that Logan wants to switch sides. He is the only smart one. He is the only one who sees the light. Now the way he is going about this is going to create great TV, so that is another reason to have him high.

No. 2

Another episode of Nate doing nothing wrong. Back-to-back weeks of getting the first rose at the ceremony and saying adorable things.

No. 1

Tino moves up to number one because he actually seems into Rachel despite Rachel being a terrible person to date. Also he is handsome and he did well on the one-on-one date

Episode One Reaction & Power Rankings (7/12/22)
Episode Two Reaction & Power Rankings (7/19/22)
Episode Three Reaction & Power Rankings (7/26/22)
Episode Four Reaction & Power Rankings (8/2/22)

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