Episode three is going to be a divisive episode. The “draft” at the end of the episode maybe has the opposite effect that Gabby and Rachel wanted because all the momentum in terms of decision making went back to the men. However, this is a necessary exercise. You can not build up a new foundation without cracking the one before it. You can not fault the men for being honest, but you can fault them for the way they go about doing it. Now if the men start to flip-flop, you will begin to see a lot of frustration.

Alright, let’s get to it. Episode three of Rachel and Gabby’s journey on The Bachelorette.

SEtting The Table
  • We are setting the scene here for how big of a week it is.
    • Men saying they are committed or need to make up their mind
      • We heard Tremayne speech!
      • James said he has not made up mind…but we know from previews that he does have his mind made up.
        • This was a bit of foreshadowing by the editors, so good job.
    • Gabby and Rachel saying that need the men to step up and be more demonstrative with their intentions.
      • “Clarity” is such a Bachelor Universe word
      • They say that the tweeners or lingers are sketchy and they need to choose.
    • Also Jesse Palmer walking in and talking sternly to these men
      • Palmer had a very dramatic episode. Every appearance he had was hued by a noir spotlight. He increased the tension non-stop.
Rachel & Zach One-on-One
  • Zach gets the one-on-one with Rachel.
  • For the second straight week, unprompted, my girlfriend says “he is hot.”
  • Is Rachel wearing a flowery dress or a flowery romper? I think that it is a dress.
  • Zach is tall and Rachel is short.
  • KARAMO! This is a great bit of synergy between The Bachelorette and Queer Eye.
    • I wonder who gets the better of the integration here; Netflix or ABC?
    • Karamo is planning Rachel and Zach’s date, and it begins with a fashion…so where is TAN!?
      • Many of the things they try on are ugly. Not even cute ugly, just don’t wear ugly.
    • Karamo says they are going to a movie premiere!! Wowza!
      • WHAT MOVIE?? I WANT TO KNOW!
      • Rachel’s dress for the movie premiere is not great. I immediately thought pee color and my girlfriend thought mustard.
      • Zach looked great though.
      • I can not tell you how furious I was when this was a fake movie premiere. I wanted them to attend a real one.
        • Emma raised the point that they would just take photos of them when filming and so it would be spoiled. But couldn’t you just spin it and say it was part of a one-on-one date? Could have gotten them into a Disney movie premiere??
    • So this movie portion of the date
      • Rachel and Zach sat too close to the screen, but it was not their fault. I would have taken the snacks and moved back at least one row.
      • So am I a massive dick for wanting a real movie and then all of a sudden the movie of childhood photos and memories starts playing?
        • Who turned on the sprinklers? How dare ABC get the emotions going!
          • ZACH, IT’S OKAY TO CRY! Rachel is crying happy tears.
        • It is going to be so weird when these old videos are going to be filmed on crazy good phones so the way back memory machine is going to be looking 4K.
      • Rachel and Zach share the really cute fatherhood childhood memory connection regarding planes and bonding. That is just adorable as fuck. Jesus, this seems a bit too genuine.
        • You know that when they cut the music out and just let the Bachelorette and the contestant speak that something really cute or really cringe is about to happen.
    • Just a phenomenal date by Karamo. I hope he did plan it all because it was really nice.
  • While Rachel was on the one-on-one, Gabby went to visit the house to try and get to know the men better.
    • Gabby is NOT pleased with the boys effort
      • None of the men pull her aside or take advantage of the situation
      • So here is my admittedly stupid argument for this; you brought a football into the equation and when a ball brought into the sphere then the boys are going to get distracted.
        • When a person drops the football, Gabby screams FUMBLE!! and then comments that knows what that means.
          • She was a Denver Broncos cheerleader, right?
        • I think the main reason that the men don’t take Gabby aside and talk to her is because she is so friendly and the way she is approaching the romance is more friendly organic. This more laissez-faire approach can make the guys more comfortable, and when you are comfortable, you don’t want to step away from that.
          • Not saying this reason is okay, but it is my hypothesis.
      • When Gabby is recounting her frustration from her visit, it is such a staged golden hour shot. I get it. It looks good with the water reflecting the sunset, but just very, very obvious.
Gabby & Erich One-On-One
  • Erich gets the one-on-one date with Gabby. He finds out the night before hand, so more time to prep and more time to think about it.
    • He said he wasn’t going to sleep, and that may have been true with how much he gave on this one-on-one date.
  • Before delving into this date too much, I am going to say that Erich did nothing to impress. He ends up getting the rose at the end of the night from Gabby, but his stock still drops. It was a very boring one-on-one date and very one-sided. We learned nothing about Erich while Gabby was having her own therapy session.
  • Emma loves Gabby’s outfit on this day portion of the one-on-one. She and Gabby just vibe on style.
    • It is never gaudy and crazy. They outfits are just simple, and that is in the best way possible.
    • I think this is the best fashion in an episode since Tayshia
  • BOOM, GRANDPA IS BACK!
    • I love how Gabby stars cursing as soon as he appears on the screen.
    • The dramatic entrance was hilarious
    • Erich looks uncomfortable sharing the care with Grandpa on the way to their date.
      • GRANDPA IS COLD. PUT THE COVER UP ON THE JEEP!
  • Okay, so Erich and Grandpa are attending this date with Gabby and the first stop is to a Sound Bath.
    • WTF is a sound bath.
    • I LOVE how grandpa doesn’t give a shit about it. I would be doing the nap bit as well.
      • The way that he spoke about how it wasn’t his experience and how he was just happy to do something new (despite never wanting to do it again) in his life was very nice. That is some wisdom right there.
  • Second part of this one-on-one date is bowling, which is a much better date. Thank you for being normal
    • I do like how there were normal people in the bowling alley and they didn’t rent out the entire thing.
      • How many waivers had to be handed out?
    • Gabby trying to get a date for her grandpa and him just cursing when he sees it is hilarious
    • Erich and Gabby get some time away from Grandpa and they get to have a mini conversation. I am sorry, but I do not see the sparks flying
  • So I think that Erich and I are alike in a certain way. I think that Erich is an introvert at heart and he has to analyze the situation he is in before opening up. I think this is one-on-one is tough for him because it is moving locations, including various different people and shifting mood and vibes. It is a lot for him, so I give him a pass on this conversation.
  • I do not give Erich a pass for the dinner portion of the one-on-one date.
    • Was confused when Gabby was wearing to this dinner portion. Was it a heavier dress? Or is there a jacket?
    • Erich is dressed very casual for this date. White tee shirt with a black jacket. Feel like he could have tried harder.
    • Erich begins the dinner portion talking a lot, but that flips quickly to Gabby.
      • Gabby starts talking about the relationship with her mom, and it starts getting very heavy.
        • Gabby’s mom essentially disowned her once she moved out.
          • I hope we don’t get a reunion at the end of the season. I think that would be forced.
        • Gabby really stepped into a minefield of memories. This is turning into a therapy session.
        • Erich (who I have just been calling Elrich for some reason) just doesn’t say…anything?
          • Dude, she walked off the dinner set in tears and you don’t think to chase after her or talk to her? You just sit there in the chair, probably muttering “yea” to yourself?
          • Now Erich didn’t say anything stupid, and this is obviously outside of his comfort zone. But dude, you are on this show so you need to spread your wings a little bit and chase after the girl. You can not just leave her venting to her producers the entire time. That is not going to end well for you.
    • This one-on-one date was more of a Gabby spotlight, not a couple spotlight
      • We learned about her insecurities, which will be highlighted even more later. We learn more about her past. She is carrying the weight of the spotlight and Erich let her sag underneath it.
    • Erich gets the rose, but again his stock drops a bit.
Biggest Group Date In Bachelorette HIstory
  • The largest group date in Bachelorette history. 19 men. That is a ton of men.
  • Kirk saying this is his first group date. Is that true? Wasn’t everyone part of the pageant show? I guess they aren’t considering that a group date since that would be the largest one ever? I just have some definitions questions there.
  • Theme of this group date is “Picture Yourself With” because Franco Lacosta and his entire crew are there it raise the vibes and document the day.
    • I wonder how big his production crew is? Wonder how much his time costs.
  • Tino went and hugged Rachel first in this group date. That is a movie to remind here that HEY, I AM STILL HERE.
  • There are a fuck ton of costumes
    • Quincey okay that his butt is showing. Confident in it.
    • Aven is pregnant, and Rachel peaked up his skivvies and was blatantly stealing a look at his dick. Respect it.
      • James was dressed as a baby…and Aven birthed him. Just a weird visual.
        • James is either allowing himself to be put in eye rolling situations, or he is born for it. Can’t tell.
    • Rachel again admitting to looking at a guys junk. This time it is Jacob just with the leaf and garden of Eden thing.
      • Now Jacob did the photo shoot with Gabby…which will be really weird when later.
    • Oh, the fake proposals. I always hate how cheesy this is.
      • Tyler does the proposal to Gabby just as we heard that his heart was set on Rachel. Awkward lol.
      • THEN NATE COMES ALONG.
        • Dude, his proposal blew everyone else out of the water. Not even remotely close.
          • Nate is actually like super smitten. He is all in. 100%
  • So we have men declaring their intensions during this group date. This means that drama is going to ensue.
    • Announced during photo shoot
      • Spencer says he doesn’t have his mind made up (in an interview)
      • Quincey is for Gabby (in an interview)
      • Tyler, as just mentioned, for Rachel.
  • So now we enter SoFi stadium. My girlfriend knew the difference between the Rams and Chargers uniforms; AKA ugly and nice
    • Kirk, on a football where he is comfortable, is one of the first to charge onto the field.
    • Rachel pulls Aven aside and makes out with him hard. She likes him and finds him really hot.
      • Did Aven play football?
    • Gabby gets put through the emotional ringer…
      • Tyler tells Gabby that he is only for Rachel.
        • Compared to the rest, Tyler’s is by far the easiest to swallow
      • HAYDEN YOU BASTARD
        • You call Gabby “Rough Around The Edges” and you think that is okay? Who the fuck do you think you are? Joseph Gordon Levitt would never. Dude, there is a better way to be doing this than to basically call her a chore. Are you serious?
      • Jacob, you bumbling idiot. In what world did you think that you had a better connection with Rachel than Gabby? In what fucking world did that cross your brain?
    • Gabby decides not to give out the group date rose because she is hurt and doesn’t feel like it
      • It takes Rachel by surprise so Gabby explains to her and really specifies that Hayden and Jacob where the biggest assholes in the process.
        • Rachel does seem genuinely offended.
      • Rachel gave her group date rose to Aven. No surprise there.
      • My question to you the audience reading this: Do we think the producers are just trying to avoid Jojo and Jordan Rodgers problem where it was obvious that the lady had her eye on one man? Like Nate deserved the rose, he killed it during the fun portion of the group date. But if he got a rose on a one-on-one, and then a group date, it would really dishearten the other men who wanted to pursue Gabby.
Rose Ceremony
  • Now it is time to separate the journeys. This rose ceremony will be dedicated to a woman. The men have to be clear with their intensions.
  • Oh, and we have skipped the cocktail party and Jesse Palmer was super dramatic about it. Classic.
  • LOVE the guys with the roses already waiting in different areas. They get a surprise as to who is going to be joining their “team” in the hunt for love with the same person. Also they get to comment on the goings on.
  • Now let’s get the the juicy drama
    • First round of roses
      • Tino says YES to Rachel
      • Nate says YES to Gabby
    • Second round of roses
      • Logan says YES to Rachel
        • Uhh…are we sure about this?
      • Johnny says YES to Gabby
    • Third round of roses
      • Tremayne says NO to Rachel
        • This is the most we have heart Tremayne talk this season and it is not in a positive moment
      • Spencer says YES to Gabby
    • Fourth round of roses
      • Alec says NO to Rachel
        • Dude, you were going home if you didn’t accept this. Big mistake. You were true to self, but damn.
      • Jason says YES to Gabby
    • Fifth round of roses
      • Ethan says YES to Rachel
      • Mario says YES to Gabby
    • Sixth round of roses
      • Jordan says YES to Rachel
      • Kirk says YES to Gabby
    • Seventh round of roses
      • Meatball says NO to Rachel
        • This is what we saw in the previews forever
      • Quincey says YES to Gabby
    • Eighth round of roses
      • Hayden says YES to Rachel
        • Rachel took Hayden after when Gabby said he said to her?? Friendship tested indeed
      • Michael says YES to Gabby
  • So Meatball, Termayne, Alec and Jacob are all sent home.
    • Or are they all sent home…
    • Jacob was the only person to not get a rose from either
      • Really, really shot himself in the foot
    • Alex going home is not surprising.
    • We heard Termayne talk more in this rose ceremony than the entire show up to this point.
  • So now the journey is divided in two. There will be moles and backstabbers. 100%. Without a doubt.
Credit Scene
  • James, what the fuck?
  • Emma and I saw James in the preview for next week and we were confused. Now we see why he was there. He asked Rachel for another shot saying that he made a mistake turning down her rose
    • I can’t believe Rachel is actually going to believe this. Or let this happen.
    • This will lead to drama in the house with some of the boys being super upset.
  • Why wasn’t all this shown during the episode in some way?

POWER RANKINGS

Despite Gabby and Rachel separating their men into two different groups, I am going to be ranking these men in one list still. I am not ranking for Gabby and Rachel. I am ranking for myself and my interpretation of the show. Maybe it will have to change in the future, but as of now all these men are still intermingling and we are going to have interweaving storylines.

Four men were eliminated, but one came back. We are down to 18 men. There is a heavy top-tier and then it really follows off.


No. 18

HAYDEN (LEISURE EXECUTIVE – TAMPA, FL – 29)
The “rough around the edges” comment has doomed him. Just not smooth at all. We were kind of shocked he got to stay.

No. 17

JAMES (MEATBALL ENTHUSIAST – WINNETKA, IL – 25)
He is only here to be dressed up and eat meatballs. Don’t like him getting to stay because I have no desire for him to stay and I don’t think he has a connection.

No. 16

MICHAEL (PHARMACEUTICAL SALESMAN – LONG BEACH, CA – 32)
Who is Michael. Do not know him or his connection. He is with Gabby, but for how long, really?

No. 15

JASON (INVESTMENT BANKER – SANTA MONICA, CA – 30)
Did we hear from Jason at all this episode? I don’t think so. I just think Jason is cuter than Michael.

No. 14

SPENCER (VENTURE CAPITALST – CHICAGO, IL – 27)
We did hear some testimonials from Spencer this week. That is progress!

No. 13

KIRK (COLLEGE FOOTBALL COACH – LUCCOCK, TX – 29)
SHOCKED that Kirk is still alive. Absolutely floored. He used his home field football group date to his advantage I guess.

MARIO (PERSONAL TRAINER – NAPERVILLE, IL – 31)

No. 12

For getting the first impression rose, Mario is still just hanging on. Has always appeared near end of episodes since the premiere.

No. 11

ETHAN (ADVERTISING EXECUTIVE – NEW YORK, NY – 27)
We get to keep his facial reactions! He had one great one this episode. Let the aggregators celebrate!

No. 10

JORDAN H. (SOFTWARE DEVELOPER – TAMPA, FL – 25)
Status quo for Jordan H. Nothing bad, nothing good. Just existing on the show.

No. 9

QUINCEY (LIFE COACH – MIAMI, FL – 25)
He is confident with his ass showing. That has to count for something.

No. 8

TYLER (SMALL BUSINESS OWNER – WILDWOOD, NJ – 25)
Handling the talk with Gabby best gives him best points. Still so young, but handled conversation way better than Jacob or Hayden.

No. 7

JOHNNY (REALTOR – PALM BEACH GARDENS, FL – 25)
The ultimate smooth customer. The pause before accepting Gabby’s rose was a producers/editors dream.

No. 6

Logan (Videographer – San Diego, CA – 26)
Uneasiness is surrounding Logan. He hadn’t picked a side, but now he is cornered into one.

No. 5

Erich (Real Estate Analyst – Bedminster, NJ – 29)
As I have already written about; Erich did nothing wrong…but he just didn’t get anything. Lost faith despite getting rose on one-on-one.

No. 4

Aven (Sales Executitve – San Diego, CA – 28)
Rachel finds him really, really, really hot. She checked out his junk and then was staring at his lips before interrupting him on group date.

No. 3

TINO (GENERAL CONTRACTOR – PLAYA DEL REY, CA – 27)
Tino reminded everyone why he is a front-runner. He was more outspoken and more assertive. We saw him get to Rachel first in group date initial hug. Tino rises back up.

No. 2

ZACH (TECH EXECUTIVE – ANAHEIM HILLS, CA – 25)
I mean, his one-on-one date brought tears. And and Rachel are both big saps. Just a monster rise from the start for me.

No. 1

Nate (Electrical Engineer – Chicago, IL – 33)
Nate has done nothing wrong. He deserved the group date rose even when Gabby didn’t give it out. Is this like Jojo and Jordan Rodgers vibe?

Episode One Reaction & Power Rankings (7/12/22)
Episode Two Reaction & Power Rankings (7/19/22)
Episode Three Reaction & Power Rankings (7/26/22)


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“The Bachelor” Week Nine Reaction | NO SEX! Until There Was Sex.

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