THE START

  • Folks we are in Estonia in a place called Tallinn, which fun fact is the capital of Estonia.
  • All of the ladies are excited to be around the castles.
  • Well not all the ladies, because Greer has COVID. Oh how this is hilarious and ironic this is. I wonder if Zach is going to Zoom her and then let her get frustrated when he tries to make a personal connection.
    • The way that Jesse Palmer brings this up is hilarious. To paraphrase: Jesse says Greer is sick, Zach asks if she is okay (in a non convincing way, then Jesse says yes and they move one very quickly.
  • Jesse asking for an update on all of the women from Zach is a good reset. You can sense hesitancy mainly when Zach is talking about Aly. That is the major takeaway I had from their little convo.
  • Jess in the house with all of the girls and she is remarkably stressed about not getting a one-on-one
    • But we all know who is getting this first one-on-one

CHARITY ONE-ON-ONE DATE

  • Charity gets the one-on-one date. Her London date got cancelled so now it is only appropriate that she gets to go now and explore this Disney princess looking fantasy land.
  • HOWEVER! Before we advance, we need to address a new baddie in the midst.
  • Zach comes and greets the ladies because he hasn’t seen them in a week. They are all giving him hugs and all is good…until KAT FROM OUT OF NOWHERE.
    • Kat pulls Zach aside. Some alone time before he leaves with Charity. This is rather unprecedented.
    • She literally says: “I’m not sure that this was maybe the appropriate timing for a conversation.” So she knows exactly what she is doing.
    • Kat kisses Zach…and leaves some lip gloss behind. Gabby is vey astute to point that out. She sees all.
    • The AWKWARDNESS when they reenter the room is off the charts. Zach tries to break the tension with a loud scream of “ESTONIA!” but damn if it is not awkward as shit.
  • So Zach and Charity leave, but before we get to them on their date…we gotta stay in the room.
    • Kat says that her actions were justified because they were “hanging out”
    • Kat, I think you misread the room here.
    • Brooklyn absolutely goes in on Kat after Aly initially asks the questions. Brooklyn tells her that it was “It was classless”. I am not sure that is the right word, but that is the word she went with. She makes up for this later.
    • Kat says that she is being unfairly treated, and Brooklyn just retorts that “Well, you are selfish”
    • Kat just doesn’t see how anyone can be upset with her. That is just a little stone brained.
  • So now let’s actually get to Charity and Zach.
    • These two love birds are getting the walk around the city date. Classic..
    • Immediate vibes I got were that these two are really cute friends who pepple think should date but never pulled the trigger. Reminded me a lot of high school
      • Now this friendship thing is good for real life…but for the show…are we really sure? I just don’t see a lot of popping chemistry.
    • These two do a horse drawn carriage ride which really makes Charity happy. Guess it has bene on her bucket list for a long time.
      • Found out Emma wants to do a sleigh ride version of this, so that is now loaded in the back of my brain.
    • Next up is an activity called “wife carrying”…because I guess this is an activity that is a tradition?
      • Charity’s face is all up in Zach’s ass. I feel like there has to be a better way to do this. Sling over the shoulder or something like a fireman. Just not very smooth at all.
    • From the day portion of the date, we also see Charity and Zach drink what I guess is a very peppery drink that is gross. The best part about it is that the person who handed them the drink is the same guy from Frozen who said “Big summer blow out!” Literally the same exact person.
    • The night portion of this date has them eating dinner in a very elegant looking dinner space.
      • Chairty says she was emotionally abused during her past relationship. This appears to to have happened to a lot of women?
        • I wonder if Zach got lessons in psychology or therapy because he is going to have to hear a lot of this. I mean everyone seemingly has. It is crazy.
        • A lot of these women have been emotionally abused (or Brooklyn physically abused), but has any of them just been cheated on? Is that a thing?
      • Charity gets the rose. No surprise there. All is hunky dory…
    • During this group date, things are really bad at the house. People are still stewing over Kat’s decision to kiss Zach.
      • Kat is talking with Ariel and she is trying to explain where she is coming from. She says that she feels unfairly attacked. Ariel takes all of this information in and then politely comes to the point that even if the “rules shifted” when Zach got COVID…respect does not shift.

GROUP DATE

  • We are going to see a witch for our group date. Yup, a real, life, witch. She has been doing for decades.
    • This witch is a “healing” witch? I have a question; why would you not call yourself a mage? Or something along those lines?
  • However, before we get to the group date, we have to have more drama at the house. Kat tries to break up the tension acknowledging the elephant in the room. She does this after Charity talks about her one-on-one and gives a bit of a snide remark.
    • Kat is playing the victim, and Brooklyn is just not playing around with her bullshit.
      • “If the shoe fits, lace that bitch up!” – WHAT A LINE! Brooklyn calls at “tacky” and says she has her head stuck up her ass.
        • I am going to be quoting this line from Brooklyn for my entire life. I want to know how it came to be. I just want to know.
  • The vibes are so off on this group date, and how is Zach not noticing this? These group dates where people are standing around a lot and waiting for their turn is not good TV.
  • So part of this witch group date is staring into a fire with Zach on the other side. This comes after Zach had to cleanse them with some shage.
  • Jess, you are so fucked. You are so in your head. I feel bad for you because one-on-one dates are a big deal and it is hard to connect without them, but you are swimming in waters you have no idea how deep they are. This is only going to get worse during the dinner portion.
    • Jess and Zach talk, and it does not go well. It goes…very poorly.
    • Jess looks so fucking tense walking into this conversation.
    • Jess brings up one-on-one dates SO FUCKING OFTEN. We get it, it is a big deal. But Zach makes the very good point that you don’t need a one-on-one date in order to open up. You can open up whenever you have the chance or time too.
    • So here is the thing. I don’t think that Jess is articulating her point the best and she keeps reusing the one-on-one phrasing. However, Zach is not good at disagreeing. He does not know how to disagree without being disagreeable. He tends to have a quick trigger.
  • Zach is a lying son of a bitch. In a span of two minutes he said that he was confident in their relationship, to that he was no confident that they can breach their disconnect. I mean, come one man, you are trapping yourself in terms of your audience interpretation. Zach ‘s cool exterior and awkward adorableness is starting to fade…
  • So Jess is getting sent home. She says that she is not going to fight for Zach…which is kind of bullshit. Like, you don’t need to fight for him and his attention? I mean come on here. What is that? You get the free pass with that? I don’t care for that.
  • I really had hope for Jess because both her and Zach are very awkward, but it was just not meant to be.
  • Zach weasels out of giving a rose during the group date. Was he meaning to give her the rose to give her some reassurance?
  • This group date was kinda a dud if I am being honest.
  • An unanswered question I have is why does Jess hate Greer? She keeps talking about how she is the last one for a one-on-one date…when Greer is there waiting in the wings with COVID.

ARIEL GROUP DATE

  • So Ariel and Zach get a one-on-one date filled with relaxing spa day. Only that it is a nudist spa…BUT THERE IS NO WAY THEY ARE GOING TO GET NUDE
  • Some lady name Laura greets them and them a charcuterie board to calm the nerves before getting even more relaxed
    • They only ate ONE strawberry. There is only ONE strawberry on that plate. They did the lady and the tramp thing and then ate ONE strawberry.
      • That is BULLSHIT.
  • And of course they are not nude. No way that they would be.
  • Ariel pulls off a one piece bathing suit. Also how does Zach just not have a boner the entire time?
  • Prepping for the steam bath was really weird. The brushing with plants, oils, ect.
  • OH, A NAKED COUPLE HAS ENTERED THE SAUNA.
    • They are actually conversing. Like they are trying to have conversation.
    • His balls are just out. This man just has his genitals out.
  • Ariel using humor as a deflection for emotions…I can empathize with that!
  • Come the ending of this one-on-one date, we get AGAIN them basically not eating a god damn thing. Just nothing at all.
  • Ariel looks fantastic in black. She just looks so good.
  • Zach saying that Ariel is maybe the best surprise of his entire journey.
  • I really don’t have a ton to say about this one-on-one date because it was good? There was not a lot of drama. The arguments between Brooklyn and Cat were put by the wayside. Maybe the date seemed fast? Maybe I wish they had more time or actually did more activities?

COCKTAIL PARTY & ROSE CEREMONY

  • Aly goes first, and that is to make us forget about her before the rose ceremony because she is most certainly going home.
  • Gabi talks next and there is a Lady And The Tramp moment with peasnut butter Estonia pancakes, which thank you The EW, is a good callback to episode two with the Reeses Peanut Butter cups.
  • All things can’t go well though. Charity pulls Kat aside to talk about the incident before her one-on-one date…again.
    • Alright, can we let this rest? I that possible?
    • BROOKLYN FROM THE CLOUDS asking if she would have done the same thing to Jess.
      • Brooklyn overstepped her bounds here. She went to far to the dark side. But I still kinda like it.
    • Kat is all thrown off and that makes a ton of sense because damn, they are fighting with sharpened claws.
      • Zach then asks Kat if something was off on the group date…and in all fairness..she doesn’t snitch. She doesn’t bring up the whole doodadoo.
      • This raised Cat in my estimation. She made a great call not stirring up more controversy. She knows. Let Brooklyn hang herself next week.
    • I love that Ariel and Gabi were having a talk about going in and whether or not they should interfere…and Gabi was like uhhh no thank you.
    • Andddd….Aly is going home. Not terribly surprising. Super said because I liked her, but she was too good for this show.

(MY) POWER RANKINGS

No. 7
Greer

(Last Week No. 9)

She gets to stay because she has COVID. This is all really ironic. Kinda, sad, but also ironic.

No. 6
Brookyln

(Last Week No. 3)

She is a straight shooter. She is going to shoot herself in the foot with Zach, but she had the best line of the entire season.

No. 5
Kat

(Last Week No. 6)

So we have a new bad girl? Even though she didn’t think she did anything wrong.

No. 4
Gabi

(Last Week No. 5)

She stayed out of all of the drama. Props to her. She did well.

No. 3
Charity

(Last Week No. 2)

A very good one-on-one date, but I worry it was a little too friendly if that makes sense.

No. 2
Ariel

(Last Week No. 4)

I mean she killed it on her one-on-one. There is sexual attraction there that I didn’t sense with Charity.

No. 1
Kaity

(Last Week No. 1)

She has done no wrong. Maybe a couple corny jokes here and there, but damn it she is still in my heart as my number one.
ELIMINATED: Aly, Jess

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