Nothing like a spur of the moment six in the morning tee time to put a pep in your step!

On Thursday/Friday last week I texted Ritz and asked if he wanted to golf on Sunday. I then got a phone call from Ritz and he proposes to me a wonderful plan. This plan involves going to join his friend Glen, at his home course, in Smithtown. Ritz and I went to Long Island…freaking Long Island for this round of golf!

Smithtown Landing Course has a 68.5 rating and a 121 slope, according to the booklets that were there at the course. Just for an overview, the course was going under some renovations around the tee boxes, but the greens were in excellent shape. Best I have played thus far this year.

Want to give a shoutout to Ritz for being willing to drive and pick me up and deal with the tough traffic on the way home. It was a bumpy ride getting home, but we were riding high off of the immaculate vibes of the day. Tee time at 6:15 AM on a Sunday, home by the afternoon, never had to wait on a hole. That is the life.

Hole 1
Par 4 | 352 Yards

First hole. No warm up. Let’s get after it.

The hole is mid-range and it is a dog leg right. Not exactly fitting my swing. I aimed as if I was hitting the ball 300 hards and cutting the hole short, thinking that my ball would work its way back towards the left like most of my shots do. However, much like my rain soaked round at Oak Hills, my drive went…straight? *picture me saying that with a confused voice pitch and look on my face*.

My second shot is from the right rough and I have about 120 yards into the hole. Yea, I hit my drive really, really well. I hit nine iron and I ended up a little bit short of the green. Unfortunately I follow my short but straight approach up with a terrible chip shot. Two chips on the first hole is not the best start. My second attempt was better, but still left me short of my desired location.

It was a small green in my defense.

Also for the record, I did a lot more chipping with my sand wedge in this round. I need to get better at chipping short distances so this was a step in improving that.

I two putt after getting it onto the green and so it is a double-bogey to start.

SCORE: 6 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 5
Score Overall: 6 (+2)

Hole 2
Par 3 | 118 Yards

We have a par three second. It is a short fella. Right off the bat, playing front of the green 100 yards, all be in the pin was in the back.

I take out my pitching wedge and DUF. Ugh. Terrible shot. My tee shot goes wayward left and into the woods. I see it in the rubble of the twigs, but it is not a playable shot. I tee up again, and oh good lord it’s perfect!

This is where one says, “why couldn’t I do this the first time?” I did say this.

So I walk over and grab my ball and unhappily shuffle my way up to the green. I knew I was putting, but I did not know that I would be within 10 feet of the hole. If only I didn’t hit my first shot OB. That would have made things a lot better.

I miss the bogey putt by just a smidge, and so it is a tap in for double bogey. Without the lost ball I would have been freaking dandy, but the warm up holes still getting to me.

SCORE: 5 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 15
Score Overall: 11 (+4)

Hole 3
Par 4 | 260 Yards

A very, very short par four. So short I should not have used driver. Frankly, I didn’t know exactly how short it was, but I was notified after I hit that there is a very large gully on the right side that you do not want to be in. Guess where my drive went. To the right.

But with that being said, I crushed this puppy, and Glen with his hawk set of eyes found my ball less than 60 yards away from the pin. Not a fairway in regulation, but still, I’ll take it.

Now is the time for the classic chip and a put. Come on Stanko, you can do this.

My pitch onto the green is actually what I was wanting to do. Well, at least it was in the margin of error. My ball ends up 20 feet to the left of the hole and I have a decent look for birdie. Probably not makable, but there is a possibility.

I made sure that I did not leave the put short, and this hole really began the adventure that were my two putts this round. The four feet I had left were a little slippery, but I managed to sink the putt. There it is. A par on the third hole of the day. That is pretty damn good.

SCORE: 4 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 17
Score Overall: 15 (+4)

Hole 4
Par 5 | 580 Yards

The hole scared the shit out of me. It is legitimately the longest hole that I have ever played. It is also the number one handicap hole on the course. It was living in my head before I even set foot on the course.

I am happy to report though that I played this hole very well. Before we go forward, I am just going to say it. I got a bogey, and I am very happy about it.

My drive went a little bit left and ended up on the fairway of hole 14. But, luckily for myself and Ritz (whose drive ended up near mine), this left us with a clear path into the our eventual layup shot. I hit my three iron (which would be for the second to last time today, story about that incoming) and I hit it well but it was leaking a little bit left. I thought I was down there. I thought I was in good shape.

My drive went about 200-220sh, and my second shot went about 200 yards as well. So I am feeling pretty good. That is until I get down to where I saw my three iron hit went. It went OB. Having never played the course before, I had no idea that the alley into the green gets skinner with woods coming in from the left. I was eaten by the woods.

So I drop a ball, and I am not hitting my fourth shot from about 150 yards away. I do have a tree branch in my way, but I am not going to play this shot smart. I already lost one ball, so I am just going to go for it.

BAM. Holy seven iron! I am putting! After I hit it I had no idea where it went. I went scurrying out into the fairway but was still lost. Then Ritz said, “You’re on!”. I didn’t believe him. Not one bit. But there I was. On the green.

Two putt and a bogey later, I am stoked!

SCORE: 6 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 1
Score Overall: 21 (+5)

Hole 5
Par 4 | 357 Yards

In hindsight, this was a very important hole, and I did not take it seriously enough. I was riding high after playing the fourth hole well, and I lost focus. I always tend to remember that you can never to low on yourself this game, but I often forget that I get too high sometimes.

I hit my drive left on this hole, and left is where all the trouble is. I end up in a thicket of mess, and so I must punch out. I punched out from this mess, and left myself with a third shot that was 155 yards away. My drive went about 210 yards, so do the math and see how tough my second shot was.

From 155 away I end up shot of the green and I am left with the horrible mid distance of 60 yards. Lovely. Exactly what I want, right? I take out my sand wedge and attempt to do a full swing 60 yard pitch shot. I attempt this shot, but I hit this ball so thin that a fitness instructor would be jealous. My ball jettisons into the swamp behind the green. My third penalty shot of the day.

My fifth shot is a drop in the zone I lost my ball. My sixth shot the one that gets my on the green, and then my putt are my seventh and eighth shot.

Trouble off the tee and that wasn’t even my penalty shock. It’s a long ride to the sixth hole in my brain.

SCORE: 8 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 3
Score Overall: 29 (+9)

Hole 6
Par 5 | 450 Yards

Another par five. The course doesn’t exactly welcome you in with open arms. It greets you with a stern handshake and then its your job to not fold.

This par five has trouble all throughout the left side, so you want to be favoring the right side. I was on the right side, but a bit too much if we are being honest. I end up hitting some trees and my ball drops down among a weak forest of trunks. My drive went about 180 yards, so the idea of getting in close with my second shot is out of the question. My ball is on some dirt, and I have trees limiting the loft on my shot. I decide that it is best to hit a low punch shot with my three iron.

I hit the type of show I wanted well but it went more left that I expected. I end up in the path of the seventh hole, but I do have a decent shot into the green. All I need to go is make sure I get it over a bunker…sure no problem at all.

I take out my pitching wedge from 70 yards out, and I do what I have done often…I skull it. Why am I hitting it so thin? I need to improve this. My pitch attempt goes over the green and I end up in the back. It is not an awful, awful shot. But I am in the rough.

My fourth shot is a duffed chip, and I absolutely hate myself for it. I was chipping to a pin that was near side, only about 3 yards away from the fringe, so I was terrified of blowing it past. Grow some balls Stanko. Hit with some confidence.

Here is the thing though, I fucking bounce back. I hit my best chip of the day and I even shot “Go In”. It ends up as a tap-in bogey. Duffed chip will haunt my dreams.

SCORE: 6 (1 Putt)
Handicap: 7
Score Overall: 35 (+10)

Hole 7
Par 3 | 160 Yards

While this was not the worst scoring hole of the day, it may have been the low point of my round in terms of confidence. I had an eight just a couple holes ago, and now a triple bogey on a pretty straight forward par three.

So the hole says it plays 160, but Glen told us that it plays more around the 180 mark. He also said be short of the hole, and not long.

Well, I was short alright. I took on my three iron and hit a ground ball just about 60 yards in front of me. Not a confident swing on my part because I was between clubs, but still a terrible result. I have about 100 yards left so I want to just plant a pitching wedge nice and square on the green. Unfortunately I absolutely skull the shit out of my shot and it goes sailing into the back hill that borders the green.

This is where I mention now that the the flag is on the top portion of this green, so I am short side, on a hill, trying to keep the ball from going down the hill back towards the tee box. I do not have the touch required for that shot. I try and keep it as soft as I can, however the ball decides it wants to roll all the way to the front of the green…and to the fairway area. Struggle, struggle city.

My second chip gets me onto the green, and then I two putt.

I got a six on this hole. A six on a par three with no water and I didn’t even hit it into a bunker. We need something to hand our hat on before the back nine begins.

SCORE: 6 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 13
Score Overall: 41 (+13)

Hole 8
Par 4 | 300 Yards

Can we turn it around? Can we make something happen?

Maybe. Maybe we can.

On this short par four I hit my first fairway of the day. Lovely. Is it a coincidence that my shortest drive of the day is the one that finds the shortest grass? I am not sure. My 180 yard drive leaves me with about 120 in, so I take a nine iron and try to stick.

And stick it, I do.

Folks, we have our second green in regulation. We have a second chance at birdie. We love that! Now, I don’t make the birdie putt, but I do sink my second putt. The par putt.

Now if I told you that I had two pars in my first eight holes I’d think I’d have hit the lottery. But an eight, and a triple bogey on a par three really put a damper.

But still, two pars. Good things to right home about. Or in this blog.

SCORE: 4 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 11
Score Overall: 45 (+13)

Hole 9
Par 4 | 360 Yards

On the description of this hole, it reads “A driver from this tee will leave you left OB, so keep it in your bag.”

Turns out the guy who wrote the book book on the course knows what they are talking about.

I did hit driver on this hole, but I did not go left OB. However, I did end up in the deep shit and my drive ended up going about 100 yards. But regardless, I am not OB. I will play this ball as it lies and pray that it comes out okay.

I pull out a low iron from my bag and I hit a low punch out shot, so now I am in the fairway about 173 yards away. Why, ladies & gentleman, what do we do from here? I took out my five iron…and I hit it decently well, but not crushing. My ball ends up in the right rough just 10 yards short from the hole. I am off the green on my fourth, but we are minimizing the damage.

A chip and a two-putt and I ended up with a six. I think this score would have been worse if I took the drop ball. If I went out to the rough perpendicular to where my ball went in, then i would have been nearly 200 yards out. I don’t think i would have been chipping or attempting my first putt till at least my fifth shot.

Regardless, I end my front nine on a double-bogey. This opening round was a terrible carnival ride of uneasiness. Two pars, but a snowman, a triple on a par three, and two double-bogeys.

SCORE: 6 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 9
Score Overall: 51 (+15)

Hole 10
Par 4 | 273 Yards

This is where I stopped jotting down notes. I did not play very well on the front nine so I wanted to let it fly a bit more and not worry about taking notes. We were just going to swing and worry about the consequences later.

This is a short par for but it is a sever dog leg right. There was a point where I took out a five iron to layup, but then because I don’t play smart I took out driver. I just wanted to hit it. I end up hitting my drive about 200 yards but it flies over the fairway. I end up in the in the rough and a tree is blocking me from hitting a regular 90 yard pitching wedge shot. I attempt to little punch shot…and I chunk it. Fuck me. My third shot and that ends up short of the green. Then my fourth shot I absolutely shank a chip. Like brutally just hit it sideways.

So my fifth shot goes into the green, and then I two putt from there. Thankfully I am going okay on the putting game so I am able to avoid the dreadful snowman. But still. I wanted to play better on the back nine and a seven to begin it doesn’t work well for my vision board.

Lesson learned. Layup, give yourself a decent shot and avoid being in a nasty position. Play smart.

(I never learn this lesson)

SCORE: 7 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 18
Score Overall: 58 (+18)

Hole 11
Par 3 | 145 Yards

Here we have a par three, straight forward. Pretty run of the mill. The advice on the tee box was that you want to be below the hole. This is a two tier green, and with the flag on the bottom, you are absolutely fucked if you land on the top part. I believed Glen when I was on the tee box, and it was even more drastic when you walked up to the green.

I took out an eight iron, hoping to land it around 140. I wouldn’t mind if I was in front of the green. Rather than then deep. I hit my eight iron very thin, but it did go relatively straight. I starts leaking a little bit right and I am scared I am going to land in the one bunker on the hole. Fortunately my ball goes over the bunker, but now I am worried about the kick because it landed on a hill.

Turns out that my ball may have had more loft then I thought. I ended up pin high but right of the green in the rough. I wanted to make sure I stayed below the hole, and that I did okay with my chip. I do roll it too far past because that is what I do better than anyone who has ever held a club. But two putts later, bogey it is. Writing down a four on the scorecard. Now I am plus four on the first two holes of the back nine, same spot where I was on the front nine.

SCORE: 4 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 16
Score Overall: 62 (+19)

Hole 12
Par 5 | 469 Yards

Par five, and the self proclaimed fairest hole on the golf course. It is a slight, but barely dog leg left. Very minimal. Hit it straight, and you are fine. Now because I don’t like hitting fairways, I didn’t hit this one. But, I did clock my drive and it went about 220 yards, just on the right side. Now do I be smart, or do I be stupid?

Let me tell ya, I was smart. I laid up and gave myself about a 106 yard shot into the green. I played it smart and I gave myself a pitching wedge in. I have to be pretty content with that.

Unfortunately I bundle my wedge a bit and I push it to the left. I am doing my version of the Carlton Fist and asking this ball to stay on the green. Guess what, playing it smart payed off! The golf gods granted me a GIR!

Now here is very I really fucked up. Before this hole, Ritz and I were talking I had mentioned how I had not three-putted yet. Folks, you do not want to do that to yourself. Not at all.

With the extra juice in my veins at the chance of a positive score, I push my first putt about 10 feet past the hole. I then lolly-gag my second putt, and it is a tap-in bogey.

Don’t jinx yourself. Don’t do it. Don’t ever do it.

SCORE: 6 (3 Putts)
Handicap: 6
Score Overall: 68 (+20)

Hole 13
Par 4 | 362 Yards

I got so lucky on this hole. Sometimes it is better to be lucky than good, at least that is what the experts say.

This hole shares a parallel path to the fourth hole, the long ass par five. Remember when I said how I ended up left off the tee on that hole? I ended up in the 13th fairway, so I am in familiar territory. So with these two holes to one another, there are parts of a cart path that are shared.

My drive, which I hit well, hit of this car path and rocketed like it was on jet fuel. In the end, my drive on this whole went 280 yards. 280 yards. This is the longest drive I have ever hit. Is this what it feels like to be a big bomber? It feels awesome.

So I have about 82 yards into the green and I also have a perfect case for a bump and run. Things are looking up for sunny boy over here. I take out my pitching wedge and strike it the way I wanted. My ball bounces just before the green and then trickles on. Two greens in regulations in a row? Is this what we call a streak?

Two putts, and a par. A glorious par. This would be my last par of the day, but it continued and accelerated my consistent play for the remainder of the round.

SCORE: 4 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 10
Score Overall: 72 (+20)

Hole 14
Par 5 | 465 Yards

Here it is. The only thing that will truly be remembered about this round of golf.

I didn’t hit my drive great, but still 205 on a mishit makes me a happy guy. With the way this hole is shaped, a SEVERE dogleg left, I actually set myself up well to cut the hole short. If I aim over a bunker I can possibly cut down 50 yards. I may give myself a chance at a pretty good score.

So I have about 260 left to the green and that is a long way to go. I am in the rough so I take out my three iron.

Then this happened.


I was swinging my three iron and I hit it poorly. Like the feeling in my hand on impact was not good. It was poor. But an immediate thought in my head was that I hadn’t really been hitting it well all day.

Then all of a sudden I feel a thud on my back. Like ow. It kinda hurt. I won’t lie to you. I have a bruise were the face of my club hit my square in the back.

If you have not swung a golf club, I am here to tell you that it is not supposed to hit you in the back.

I lift up my right hand and I see a bit of my club dangling in the wind. It is just twirling there. I see in the background of the my vision that Ritz is just hanging his head in shock. I go to hold the face of it, and the whole shaft just breaks in two. Irons are not supposed to do that!

Now this is were I say that I have irons that are legit from the 1990s. I inherited them from my grandfather after I had out grown the irons I had been using since middle school. Still, having this happen in the middle of a round is nuts.

Now I am worried about the rest of my irons. Do they have cracks in them? I can’t afford new irons right now. They are expensive! It is also a process. It isn’t just a buy online sort of thing.

Also these Excalibur irons say lifetime warrantee on the shaft. That is a straight lie.

Anyway; now I have to finish this hole. I took the liberty of redoing my second shot because I was not going to count a shot where my club broke in half. I take out my three iron hybrid, which I do not hit very often at all, if ever. I was able to hit it, but I did not hit it flush. It leads to a layup shot that is about 137 yards away. From that far away i hit an eight iron and I land short of the green. I chip on, two putt, and record a bogey. The whole thing is really a blur after my club breaking. Because that really happened.

SCORE: 6 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 2
Score Overall: 78 (+21)

Hole 15
Par 4 | 320 Yards

So we follow up a wild par five experience with what is hopefully a short and easy par four.The scary bit about this drive was that it was a tad bit more narrow than one was expecting. The veterans of the course said it was wider than we thought it would be, but I respectfully disagree with that.

This was one of the first really bad banana hooks of the day. A bit shocking if you think about it. With that being said, I hit my ice cream topper and I think I am OB on the left side. However, I am still in play, and I am about 110 yards away for the hole. I take out my nine iron…and miss the green because I am really good at that. But then it was a sand wedge chip, and a two putt.

I don’t remember much about this hole except for the drive, and that speaks to the normalcy of it. Just a two putt bogey for me, Mr. Stanko.

SCORE: 5 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 14
Score Overall: 83 (+22)

Hole 16
Par 3 | 180 Yards

A long par three that is listed at 180 yards but plays 200. That was according to Glen who plays this course every week so he definitely knows. Without a three iron, I take out my three iron hybrid, which I have hit maybe three times since 2022? This includes the 14th hole where I hit it after my three iron broke.

My swing actually turns out to be okay, and I end up pin high but on the left side off the green. I am maybe about five to ten yards away from the cup, so I am able to use my pitching wedge rather than my sand. I have some room to work.

I still land the ball too close to the hole and so it rolls past the hole and I am about 15 feet away for par. I give it a very good run, and I have a tap-in bogey. This is a Stanko par three. This is a much better effort than the seventh hole where I had a triple bogey. We rebounded well on the round with two bogeys on the two par threes after the blow up.

SCORE: 4 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 4
Score Overall: 87 (+23)

Hole 17
Par 4 | 300 Yards

Straight downhill. This hole is like a slide plunge at a water park. You are on the tee box, and you do no see what is in front of you at all. Blind tee shot, the definition.

Now it is is a really short par four, but I still hit driver because I have been hitting driver well all day long so why waste this good round form the tee box? My ball ends up left of the fairway what I have about a 75 yards to the green. It is not the cleanest shot, and I am nervous because I have a bunker right in front of the green with the angle I gave myself.

I hit a ground ball with my pitching wedge and it is making a BEE-LINE for the bunker. Luckily I hit it so hard that it hops out of the bunker and I think I am going to be safe on top of the mound in the rough. But then the ball starts rolling back…and I end up in the extra tall grass that is protecting the bunker at the top. Not a good position.

I have one foot in the bunker, one on top of the hill. I take out my sand wedge and I am choking up basically onto the shaft itself. I punch it out and it rolls to the right of the hole and I am not i the light rough past the hole in the shady right side of the nasty stuff. But overall, really not a bad shot. I gave myself a solid chance to chip and a putt.

I pitch it and I am a little short. I then two putt it, and it is a bogey. But from where I was after my approach shot, I am more than okay with a bogey. If I was golfing a couple years ago with the stance I had, I would still be hitting.

SCORE: 5 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 12
Score Overall: 92 (+24)

Hole 18
Par 4 | 360 Yards

Last hole of the day, and it is a very odd looking hole. The tee box is way up there, and the hole plays as a dog leg left exclusively down hill. The distance is around 360 yards, but it plays much shorter with how steep the drop off is. The key is to keep your drive away from the woods on the right, but not too far left where you land in the trees or on the first fairway.

I piped my drive and it might have been my best of the day. I am down the hill, in the middle of the fairway…for only my second fairway in regulation on the day. I about about 120 yards away, which would typically be a nine iron, but because of the massive down hill I went down to a pitching wedge. I hit it very, very poorly, but despite thinning it my ball ends up on the far left side of the green for my fifth GIR of the day.

My last lag put of the day was very poor, and I ended up more than 10 feet past the hole. I then left my par putt to far below the hall and it was a tap-in bogey to end the round. I am disappointed that I had a really damn good chance to make par to close it out, but still five straight bogeys to end a round is consistent. And consistency is good.

The story on this whole is really Michael Ritz. Mike was cruising on the back nine and he had about 140 yards to go with his second shot. He took out an eight iron, and hit his worst iron shot of the day. Brutal timing. His shot leaks right and ends up just on the border of OB near the only water on the entire course. He tries to chip it out, but instead it gets worse and he finds himself moving perpendicular to the right.

To sum it up, Ritz writes down his lone double-bogey on the back nine. He totals up his score for the entire round, and it’s an 80. He had a chance with a bogey putt to make it a 79, but a double bogey gets him to 80. Oh, so close to an outstanding round. I mean, still an awesome, awesome round. But what could have been. It could have been a get pizza or Chinese food to celebrate yourself round, but instead it was a ramen back at home round.

SCORE: 5 (3 Putts)
Handicap: 8
Score Overall: 97 (+25)


  • A massive improvement on the back nine compared to the front nine.
    • Three penalty strokes on the front nine, and none on the back.
    • Two lost balls on the front nine. Zero lost balls on the back.
    • The only struggle a bit on the back was 17 putts compared to 15 on the front
      • Only three putts on the back
  • Only two fairways in regulation all day.
    • In all honesty, this is probably the fewest amount of fairways I have hit in a long time? I don’t want to go all the way back and look through the rounds, but it is the lowest this year for sure.
  • I did have five greens in regulation, which may be my best ever.
    • It is by far my best this year. I think I average maybe two per round, so five is outstanding.
  • 18 chips; I averaged on chip per hole. But what I wonder whether this is good? Like GIRs should mean that you aren’t chipping. But 18 chips means that while I was missing greens, I wasn’t making it super duper terrible.
  • I really liked Smithtown Landings. The greens were incredibly fair. It was getting work done on some of the tee boxes, but it didn’t take away from anything.


#1 | Par 46 (2 Putts)6 (2 Putts)
#2 | Par 33 (5 Putts)3 (5 Putts)
#3 | Par 44 (2 Putts)4 (2 Putts)
#4 | Par 56 (2 Putts)6 (2 Putts)
#5 | Par 48 (2 Putts)8 (2 Putts)
#6 | Par 56 (1 Putt1)6 (1 Putt1)
#7 | Par 36 (2 Putts)6 (2 Putts)
#8 | Par 44 (2 Putts)4 (2 Putts)
#9 | Par 46 (2 Putts)6 (2 Putts)
#10 | Par 47 (2 Putts)7 (2 Putts)
#11 | Par 34 (2 Putts)4 (2 Putts)
#12 | Par 56 (3 Putts)6 (3 Putts)
#13 | Par 44 (2 Putts)4 (2 Putts)
#14 | Par 56 (2 Putts)6 (2 Putts)
#15 | Par 45 (2 Putts)a5 (2 Putts)a
#16 | Par 34 (2 Putts)4 (2 Putts)
#17 | Par 45 (2 Putts)5 (2 Putts)
#18 | Par 45 (3 Putts)5 (3 Putts)
Total97 (+25) | 38 Putts, 2 FIR, 5 GIR

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