Stanko's Stance

My goal before the end of my vacation week was to play three rounds of golf. I played my first round on St. Lucie Trail Golf Club and had a decent round 102. I played at Gator Trace and had a 93.

On the Friday of my vacation week, I played Fairwinds Golf Course with my dad as a topper. Unfortunately, there was no grand finale. It was a really tough round of golf for me. Worst round of golf I have played in about three or four years? It went so bad that I couldn’t go back and track and compare.

I feel bad for my pops because I think my bad play got into his head a little. When I play bad I get really quiet and sullen. Not the best playing partner.

I had some good holes, but mostly some really bad holes.

Now let’s see how I did in my ninth round of the year.

Hole 1
Par 4 | 311 Yards

I started off my day with a good solid drive. The first of three fairways that I hit in a row to begin my round. I also hit this one well, about 220 yards. I don’t know if I had another one that far this day.

I tugged my second shot so I had to chip. I chipped to the fringe…after my chip rolled way past the hole.

So I knew the greens were faster that Gator Trace, but I didn’t make the adjustment on this hole. And I didn’t really the entire day.

I three putt the first hole. One of many three putts on the day. I end up with a double-bogey.

SCORE: 6 (3 Putts)
Handicap: 9
Score Overall: 6 (+2)

Hole 2
Par 4 | 370 Yards

Hole two. Vibes are still good.

I hit a good drive on the right side of the fairway. it goes about 200 yards. I have about 165 in till the green, so I take out my five iron. I hit it FLUSH…right into a sand trap. Mother fucker. That is disheartening.

It takes me two shots to get out of the beach. It takes me two putts to get in the hole, and I have a six.

I hit my five iron the perfect distance, but just too far to the right. A high lip (higher then two feet), really did me in. It was a solid two putt, but I just wanted to get a five down.

I had the sand. It was the worst part about golf and the actual beach.

SCORE: 6 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 3
Score Overall: 12 (+4)

Hole 3
Par 4 | 376 Yards

After two good drives, my dad comments that I have figured out how to use this specific driver.

I then hit a worm burner that barely reached the fairway and went about 150 yards. Yikes. It is a fairway in regulation, but it is an ugly one. I then try and kill my second shot, and that gets topped and goes about 50 yards in front of me. It is all bad. It is terrible.

Third shot gets near the green, but work still needs to be done. My fourth shot is a chip from about 20 yards around…and I decent to hit it like I am a two year old toddler learning how to hold a spoon. I had like a 70 foot putt for bogey. Hence the very long and winding road

So super duper far away, I three putt and I have a my first seven score of many on the day.

SCORE: 7 (3 Putts)
Handicap: 1
Score Overall: 19 (+7)

Hole 4
Par 5 | 462 Yards

Our first par five of the day. We actually have some this time around compared to just one at Gator Trace.

For driving distance, I wrote down “BAD” in my notes. I didn’t hit it out of bounds, but I was way to the right. I hit a flop shot and was buried in some palm trees. I tried to squeeze a 5 iron between two trees…but I actually hit it way to the left, like a 90 degree slice makes me shake my head.

So my third shot, I just want to get it near the green. NOPE. STRAIGHT LEFT AGAIN!

What the hell is going on with my irons. This would be a trend non-stop for the day, and this was really the start. I am about 100 yards left of the green. Way, way, way left. I new need to try and pitch it softly. And I don’t. I hit it into the sand. I do get it out in one, but nowhere near the hole.

It is back-to-back sevens on the scorecards for me.

SCORE: 7 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 7
Score Overall: 26 (+9)

Hole 5
Par 3 | 160 Yards

We have a longer par three for this course. It is uphill, and it is incredibly windy. This hole is incredibly windy. Every time I play it it is like I am hitting into a tornado.

It didn’t matter this time because I hit it right OB. Just directly into the woods.

I drop, chip, and two putt for a five. I am not hitting my irons well or timely at all. Have no idea where they are going and how far or anything. I am at a loss.

I only have up to a traditional five iron in the Florida bag I am using, and that is probably for the best. If I had my three iron I would be killing people. I would need a megaphone like I am a ice cream truck just screaming FORE non stop.

SCORE: 5 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 15
Score Overall: 31 (+11)

Hole 6
Par 5 | 451 Yards

When you hit a drive well and then it also hits the car path, that is a good start. A decent drive that gets a little bit of extra kick? We love that.

I am on the right side in the first cut, but still have a good lie. I take out my three iron hybrid and I almost get it onto the green in two. There were people on the green when I hit it, so I felt kinda bad. But on the other end of the spectrum…this was the best individual hit I had on the day. I funneled it into the thin fairway before the green. I had a chip to get a GIR.

I didn’t get a green in regulation.

I chipped and honestly hit it about where I wanted to. I did not expect it to roll another 40 feet after I hit it. It rolls off the green and onto the fringe on the back of the green. Three putts later, and I have a bogey on the scorecard. If I two-putt from where I was, I would have been ecstatic.

Three putt bogey after a good drive and great second shot. Frustrating, but still an okay score.

SCORE: 6 (3 Putts)
Handicap: 13
Score Overall: 37 (+12)

Hole 7
Par 4 | 330 Yards

I played well on this hole. This is a hole that is in my head, but in a good way. It is a dog leg right, but the fairway slants to the right towards the hole. I aimed directly at the green with my four-iron hybrid and it veered left into the middle of the fairway. I hit the drive about 205 yards and had about 130 yards to the hole. I take out a my nine iron for this downhill shot. It looks like a beauty, and it is.

I missed the green by one foot on the short side of the green. I went pin hunting, and it worked.

I pitched onto the green, missed a 10 foot-sh par putt and tapped into bogey.

I hit a great four-iron hybrid and a great nine iron on this hole.

This was a positive vibes hole.

Oh, how it will all go down hill.

SCORE: 5 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 11
Score Overall: 42 (+13)

Hole 8
Par 3 | 140 Yards

Short par three. No water. Only two bunkers (I think). No reason not for a bad score.

Not a good start when my drive with my eight iron goes about 25 yards. FUCK. Just a ground ball.

So now I have a pitching wedge in. All I need to do is hit it straight and normal. Easy enough.

The ball goes about 50 yards after I get 95% ground. I just want to bury my head in the sand.

I keep my pitching wedge in my hand, and somehow I have a good bump and run that goes up toward the front of the green and BOOM it is actually fantastic. I have a tap in bogey.

What a disgusting gross bogey. I feel disgusting writing it down.

SCORE: 4 (1 Putts)
Handicap: 17
Score Overall: 46 (+14)

Hole 9
Par 4 | 373 Yards

Entering this hole, I had a 46 through eight holes. Salvageable. Not good, but salvegable.

After this hole, I had a 55 through nine holes. That is objectively bad. Very bad.

This hole is officially what put my feed in the confidence mud.

I hit a good drive but it went a little left. I was near the first hole fairway, but I was only about 5 yards away from the ninth hole fairway. I can’t see the green over a big mound, so I take a five iron and just try and get it there after my drive went about 180 yards.

My five Iron lands in front of the green in a bunker. Fine. just my second bunker shot of the day. I can do this.

When I tell you that I hit my sand shot 1000 MPH and it reached no higher than a food off the ground, I mean it. I hit this shot so thin, it must have been the very very bottom of my sand wedge. It goes flying over the green, onto the 12th hole green, then rolls off the 12th hole green into swamp shit.

I have to drop, and with my fifth shot I hit a duffed chip about three feet in front of me. Did I rush? Absolutely. Did I screw myself by not calming down? 100%. But UGH. I eventually get it near the green and I start a three putt from the fringe and I am putting down a nine on the score card.

It is not my only nine of the day either.

Ugh. It hurts, specially after two shots to begin that hole that were tolerable.

SCORE: 9 (3 Putts)
Handicap: 5
Score Overall: 55 (+19)

Hole 10
Par 4 | 349 Yards

I tee it up looking to begin the back nine better than the front. I absolutely destroyed a golf ball…and I cleared water that is going along the fairway on the right side. Now I am about 20 yards right of the proper fairway. I am in the 12th hole fairway. I need to hit it over some trees in order to get to the green.

I don’t get it anywhere near over the trees. I hit a mega 90 degrees slice with a five iron and it basically acts as a punch out. Not the worst, but not the best.

I am less than 100 yards in and I hit my pitching wedge over the flag that is in the front of the green. It takes me three putts to get in the hole, and I begin the back with a double bogey.

I should note that I hit a provisional drive on this hole in case my first drive was somehow unplayable. I didn’t use it, but maybe I wish I did.

SCORE: 6 (3 Putts)
Handicap: 4
Score Overall: 61 (+21)

Hole 11
Par 3 | 93 Yards

Super short par three. It is a simple pitching wedge. Super duper easy.

It was not super duper easy.

I blade my pitching wedge and I hit it off the green in the back. I chip onto the green, aiming for a crest to then have it roll down. It don’t reach that crest, so I have about 30 feet left.

Three putts later, and I have writing down a five. Still not a terrible start to the back nine. It was better than my nine on nine. That is really all I am hoping for.

SCORE: 5 (3 Putts)
Handicap: 16
Score Overall: 66 (+23)

Hole 12
Par 4 | 330 Yards

So I have already visited this hole twice before actually playing it. That is how my round is going.

A very standard par four. There is water on the right side, avoid the water.

I come so fucking close to the water. I aimed at the water waiting for the banana hook slice back…but instead I get an actual nice fade that bounces about 2 feet left of the water and then continues to trickle down the fairway. I mashed the drive and it flew like it was supposed to. Amazing.

I take out my pitching wedge with less than 100 yards to the pin. Come one baby, just one green in regulation.

FUCK. I fuck it up again. FUCK.

So I chip onto the green, and then I three putt.

CAN I LEARN HOW TO PUTT, PLEASE???

SCORE: 6 (3 Putts)
Handicap: 18
Score Overall: 72 (+25)

Hole 13
Par 5 | 443 Yards

This right here, hole thirteen, was anything but unlucky for me. It was by far my best hole on the day.

I mentioned in the summary of my first hole that I don’t know if I hit great drives, but on this whole I did. I no joke hit this drive about 240 yards. It was an absolute missile. It was also the last fairway that I hit on the day.

There were people on the green when I approached my ball, and I decided to let them leave despite having about 200 yards to the hole. It was the correct decision.

I NUKE a three-iron hybrid. Holy lord, it was straight and it cut over the tree line (which is not where I was aiming if I am being honest) and I lost sight of it. I knew it opened up a bit, but how much, I didn’t recall.

Low and behold, my ball is in front of the green side bunker about five yards or so off the green. Holy shit, what I fucking golf shot.

I had a CHIP for the GIR, which I didn’t get. That irked me. But the flag was short side so just needed to get it somewhere I could putt. I have about eight feet and I just miss the birdie putt. It is a tap-in par. Very happy for a par. Very happy for a par. Did I mention I am very happy with a par?

SCORE: 5 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 8
Score Overall: 77 (+25)

Hole 14
Par 3 | 155 Yards

Would I carry the momentum on to a fairly easy look par three?

No.

I hit a six iron and it starts out at the flag but then starts fading toward the swampy brush on the left. It lands in there. Shit.

I drop, and I duff my first chip. Death. I want to die. My fourth shot, I decide that I should just chip it into a bunker right in front of me rather than trying to get it on the green. What I will say is that I don’t enjoy any of this process.

I do get it out of the sand in one try, but my frustration has boiled over already. I can’t compose myself putting and I three putt.

I am writing down an eight on the scorecard on a par three.

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SCORE: 8 (3 Putts)
Handicap: 6
Score Overall: 85 (+30)

Hole 15
Par 4 | 329 Yards

What I have in my notes for this hole is: “I am still reeling”

I did not track the distance of the drive, but it did go to the right. From all accounts this was a classic Stanko hole. A playable drive, an approach that gives an okay look at a chip. I execute the chip (kind of), and then two-putt for a bogey.

I wish I could be satisfied with this, but the vibes are super duper low. It is not good times in my brain.

SCORE: 5 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 10
Score Overall: 90 (+31)

Hole 16
Par 4 | 337 Yards

Did not play this hole. I took my average on the other par fours…which is a seven. YIKES. YOUCH.

So terrible. I had to write down a seven as an AVERAGE.

SCORE: 7 (N/A Putts)
Handicap: 12
Score Overall: 97 (+34)

Hole 17
Par 5 | 447 Yards

Did not play this hole. Went to dinner instead. I got to write down a six for this because that is the average of my par fives. It is oh, so sad I have a lower score on par fives then par fours.

I am ashamed.

SCORE: 6 (N/A Putts)
Handicap: 14
Score Overall: 103 (+35)

Hole 18
Par 4 | 392 Yards

Hole 18 is not an easy hole by any means, but still no excuse for me to record a nine on the last hole. It was all terrible experience and goodbye to Florida.

The drive is a dog leg left. If you have enough enough mustard in your driver you can cut the hole short. I know that my driving has not been strong enough to do such a thing, so I aimed way right to avoid the water.

I did avoid the water, but I was on the muddy sticky stuff that is not fun to hit off of. If I was a smart man I would have done the foot wedge. I did not, so instead I duffed a five iron into a bit less muddy rough than I was originally in.

My third shot, well I caught that one clean, so much so that I hit over the fairway and into water on the other side. Ugh.

So now I have my fifth shot, rather than my fourth, and I still need to get to get onto the green. I take out my pitching wedge…and I don’t hit it well at all. So now my six shot is about 40 yards away, but I can’t so a bump and run because I had to hit over water. I actually do hit a kinda solid okay shot into the safest part of the green.

Shots seven, eight and nine are putts.

SCORE: 9 (3 Putts)
Handicap: 2
Score Overall: 112 (+39)

FINAL THOUGHTS

• It was so hard to putt on Fairwinds. It was so much faster than Gator Trace. I had 40 putts, and I didn’t even play two holes. That is just disastrous. I was so out of practice from this speed. It hurt me so much. I did have a lot more fringe putts because I was not near the hole ever.
• I only had one one-putt on the day. It was a terrible day putting. I wanted to toss my putter for an alligator to eat.
• Despite not a good day of playing on the course, it was good to get out there with my dad. Neither of us played our best, but we did have fun. Here is to looking at you Pops.
• I had three sevens on the day (one being the average on hole 16). I also had two nines, and one eight. There are so many high numbers. If you are doing mental math that high on the golf course, then things are going very bad.
• NINE three-putts. NINE. THREE PUTTS.
• Fairwinds is a tough golf course. I knew it going in that despite it being fairly open off the tee, around the greens is tough. I paid that price. I paid it double. I saw every bit of this golf course.
• Not a lot of wildlife on the course. Kind of a bummer.

FAIRWINDS GOLF COURSE

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