he big mess we love so much. This finale had a ton of juice, and it had a ton of girl power. And not like the preachy girl power like Katie had in her finale. This is well spoken well thought out and not over-the-top but straight to the point girl power.

Oh, and I guess there was some love too. I guess that counts. Let’s get after it.

ARIEL SITDOWN

  • We start with a bang. Ariel is in studio with Jesse Palmer and she looks STUNNING. I mean goodness gracious me-almighty. It is just not fair. She looks like she is Helen of Troy or Athena herself. She is simply gorgeous.
  • Alright, enough crushing over here. Let’s get to the real meat and potatoes. Ariel had NO idea about the drama that was unfolding during fantasy suite week. She was completely kept in the dark and had to watch it all unfold on TV.
    • Safe to say, Ariel was not happy about this at all.
      • She says that she felt betrayed to not know what was going on after they shared intimate moments together during the show.
  • Should also not that Ariel didn’t cry during the breakup because she said she emotionally shutdown, like the beautiful robot she is. She may be the real life Ex Machina AI come to life and I am here for it.
  • Now Zach comes onto the stage. This is the first time the two have seen each other since she was sent home.
    • “I just want you to understand that you took away my agency in that night and that conversation,” she says. “If you had waited, you’d have found out I was on the same page as you.”
      • This was the biggest takeaway from their conversation. Ariel didn’t want to have sex either, but to have her own opinion not taken into consideration, and then for him to go back on the promise he made to her in his selfishness, well that is just a really bad look. And Zach knows it.
        • Ariel takes Zach down a peg and all he can really do is take it. He knows he can not have anything good to say.
    • The other statement that is getting some publicity is Ariel saying that this show is essentially an open relationship. As crazy as that sounds, is it that crazy? I gotta say, it sounds kind of right. Maybe it gets a little messed up when you have to watch the other relationships they have, but it is a apt comparison. Props to Ariel once again.
      • Ariel sounds so fucking sophisticated when she says “and when the parameters of an open relationship change, I should be the first to know.”
        • Ariel asks why she wasn’t given the grace the other women got when it came to having a conversation about what happened with Gabi. Zach doesn’t really have a good answer besides “uhhh, I fucked up”.
    • Ariel then states that “I think by putting sex off the table, you made the entire week about sex, and it didn’t need to be like that.”
      • I mean Ariel is just here dispensing out ridiculous facts. She may need to be the reality check that these hosts need.
  • Ariel came out of this sit down looking like an absolute super star.

GABBI VISIT’S THE FAMILY

  • Gabi is the one meeting Zach’s family first, and based off the interviews…she does not seem that excited. Gabi notes that she may not even want to meet Zach’s family if their initial chat does not go well.
    • She is most bummed because she feels like a regret, and the fact that Zach says he made a mistake (with her) is a major confidence boost. Yea, I would say so. Gabi has a right to feel all of these things.
      • Gabi is sensing that Zach has regret. She senses it in her gut. Perhaps she should trust her gut…
    • So Gabi sits down with Zach and she attempts to try and get answers about Zach’s feelings. She is trying to sort out her own. She is rather obvious about feeling like a criminal and an outlier in this process.
      • Zach tries to reassure her by saying what he feels in his heart is love. This is somewhat misleading? This is giving false hope to Gabi. This is giving her just enough to come through the door.
  • So Gabi and Zach enter the hospitality era and the family time has begun.
    • Chapman, Zach’s dad, pulls Gabi aside first. It is a very normal conversation for this show. Family is important and excitement is in the air.
    • Chap notes how his relationship with Megan, Zach’s mom, was built during the hard times. Is this a reference to now a days? I guess Chap’s retirement was part of one of the Crypto Banks that went down. I mean there is no way it could be referencing current times, but damn how that lesson can be applied today.
    • Gabi ends up talking to Zach’s sisters and this is supposedly the moment where Gabi knows she is IN love with Zach. No more of that middling mumbo-jumbo.
      • Gabi feels confident enough to tell Zach this. She credits the sisters and I think this is what really made Zach happy.
    • There was nothing too crazy about this family meet-up. The conversation with the Gabi and Zach’s dad was a little strange.

KAITY WINS THE FAMILY DATE

  • We open with Kaity’s day of meeting Zach’s family and she is starting to swim in her own thoughts. This is probably due to the drama of fantasy suite week and the emotional boxing ring that Zach threw her into.
  • When it comes to the family, Kaity absolutely kills it. She sweeps the family off their feet.
  • The first big win comes when Kaity is talking with Zach’s mom
    • Kaity begins to cry a little bit and Megan (Zach’s mom’s name) gets the chance to mom her. It is time for a hug. She has to freaking love seeing Kaity be so invested in Zach. She just got emotional talking about him.
  • Then Zach’s sisters (Sammy & Payton) ask Kaity how she would handle it if she wasn’t chosen.
    • LADIES! That is RUTHLESS! She was just crying with your mom and you are going to make her cry all over again.
    • The most obvious thing from Kaity’s visiting with the family is that Sammy & Payton like Kaity a lot more than Gabi. There is just a better connection. Don’t necessarily know how, but Kaity had the magic in the air.
  • Kaity saying that she can see Chap as her dad is a HUGE step for Kaity with her father issues of the past.
    • Chap gave her the same speech about building a relationship in the tougher of times, but the key moment comes when Chap says that he didn’t have a father figure to model things after…but he seems to have ended up okay. This has to be a huge sigh of relief for her and just a confidence booster.
  • Kaity says that she is in love with Zach. That is all Zach needed.

FINAL DATES

  • Kaity gets to go first on the “last chance” dates
    • This is a strange way to refer to it? I have not heard it referred to as that before?
  • Zach and Kaity go to this national forest where they are going for a hike
    • Kaity wore really the worst outfit she possibly could for this? Sandals and floppy pants that go past her ankles. Did no one tell her what the date was going to be?
    • The go swimming and look all cute. I mean Kaity is going to win. Very obvious from watching this show.
  • At the night portion of Kaity’s date they are just cuddling and being cute.
    • Kaity really does the interesting and really nice thing of complimenting the fuck out of Gabi. She goes on to say that she understands Zach’s hard decision because Gabi is an awesome girl.
  • Then there is Gabi’s one-on-one last chance date. This really is the final nail in the coffin for anyone who thought that Gabi had a shot.
    • The couple go horseback riding and Gabi is actually good at it. She has done it before. Zach struggles a bit to get the horse going in the right direction.
      • With this horse Gabi gets a really cute photo with the horse (and Zach too but who really cares).
    • THE AUDIO WENT OUT! HOW CRAZY WAS THAT?? Massive technical glitch and ABC had to cut to commercial. I would have LOVED to have been in the control room as a fly in the wall to see the chaos ensuing. What was the issue? I want to know!
    • Gabi tries to speak positivity in the world about their engagement. But Zach really dampers that HEAVILY.
      • Zach says that he is torn and doesn’t know where he is going to be in two days.
        • Gabi knows where she is going to be. She is going to be on her way out, heartbroken, once again.
          • This is where she says she has that gut feeling.
        • Zach says that he doesn’t know what he will be deciding in two days and Gabi just can’t believe that. She knows what the deal is.
  • At the dinner portions of Gabi’s date, this only get more dreary. Gabi is trying to come out with positivity, but she is also trying to have a proper real conversation with Zach. She wants to try and sift out the answers.
    • Whatever Zach says, Gabi is not convinced. Zach says that he is falling in love with her but it does sound hollow. None of it sounds good.
    • Gabi is sitting with a controlled rage of frustration. It is tough to watch an avalanche coming toward you,m and you have to stay in the way and be washed away by it.
I AM SKIPPING OVER THE SEAN LOWE LOVE FEST AND THE RING SELECTION BECAUSE I WANT TO.

GABI’S BREAKUP

  • We have arrived at the dramatic moment where the show unveils who is going to be dumped. But we know already.
  • There is the whole SUV lead-up. And the feet touching the ground…and the color dress..
  • Gabi’s high heels touch the ground, and it is muddy! She sinks in a bit and has to be careful walking.
    • “When it actually matters, when Kaity arrives, don’t do that to her.” – I ABSOLUTELY LOST IT WITH THIS! Absolutely lost it. She was talking directly to everyone on the set. It was not just to her handler. It was to the camera men, the audio techs, the lighting riggers, the bystanders. All of them. It was remarkable. Insanely good.
  • Jesse Palmer asks Gabi how she is doing…to which she replies “I think I just know what’s about to happen.” There is nothing that Jessie can do but simply wish her luck.
  • Zach begins his preamble, but then he gets to the big “BUT”.
    • Gabi immediately asks him to stop talking…but he doesn’t. This continues to be a trend.
      • Zach, she asks like 20 times for you to stop talking. Come one man. You are digging your own grave.
    • Gabi is adamant that Zach knew before those whole thing, but he keeps on denying. Zach, she knows you better than you think.
  • Even as they are walking to the break-up car, Zach is still trying to talk too much. He is saying that they will have memories he will cherish…but I mean come on. Let’s give it a rest here.
  • I love that they showed Gabi taking off her heels. SHe rode with them off. Put them on, stepped in mud, got broke up with, then returned being blabbered to, then took them off again.
  • I do not like when Gabi said that there was something wrong with her. I do not believe that.
  • We cut straight from the SUV to Gabi looking INCREDIBLE in a black dress at the After The Final Rose.
    • Gabi really knocked it out of the park twice with the dresses. The Yellow she also looked fabulous in
  • Gabi first remarks how she is surprised that someone who cared about her would put her through that humiliation.
    • A very fair point. She knew, and all of America knew.
    • Oh, then there the is humiliation of the fantasy suite week and Zach’s horrendous handling of that.
      • She is rather kind to Zach for a time saying that a lot of the memories of that week are good; she felt connected and she felt loved. It was a moment of not just physical intimacy but also personal. Based off the way she was talking it seemed like they were learning a lot about each other.
      • Then Gabi says that the sex that had consensually that night was going to be JUST BETWEEN THEM.
        • Zach, I mean what are you doing bro. You just ruined it. You made a promise to yourself, and to her, and you broke both! She even had the kiss on the back-of-the-head tid-bit!
          • I wonder if that is a go to move for him.
      • Then Gabi says that Zach used her name without telling her! Could have made it vague! Could have made it debatable. Instead, it was like blowing seeds on a dandelion and watching all the drama spread.
        • She didn’t know till she watched the show. Ariel didn’t know either. Zach…not the best communicator with this stuff
      • When she said the line “but now I’ve become a narrative, and it’s really painful.”, that broke me.
  • This is where live TV hurts because Gabi was rolling but Jesse Palmer had to wrap up the conversationg and give Zach a chance to reply.
    • We have to hear from Sean Lowe again, but we don’t get to hear more from Gabi and this conversation?
  • Zach does his beast quick backtracking and apologizing but it is vey shallow.

KAITY’S ENGAGEMENT

  • Alright, now we have to get happy again. Let’s try and wipe away the anger we feel for Zach and let’s feel happy for Kaity.
  • Kaity looks fantastic in white and she is walking with a bit of confidence in her step. And probably rightfully so.
  • Kaity gets to give a bit of a preamble to Zach. Gabi did not.
    • Imagine if Gabi had? Imagine if Gabi got to drop some lines and she politely told Zach to f-off as part of the show. It would have made after the final rose a little less meaningful, but I still would have loved it.
  • Zach does his whole proposal thing with a ABSURDLY pregnant pause in the middle. He does the whole fake out thing before saying that he is in love with Kaity and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. So he gets down on one knee, and he does the damn thing.
  • I feel bad not talking more about the proposal, but the drama of Gabi was so much more juicy. Who wants the lovely good-touchy feelings when we can have heart break.
  • So now Zach and Kaity are on the After The Final Rose stage and the crowd is happy for them.
  • Kaity directly touches on the fantasy suite drama and the after effects of that. Kaity makes the good joke about how she will never watch that episode again
    • She then follows it up saying that her and Zach have great communication skills. A bit different than Zach with the other women.
  • The couple are actually kinda smart and aren’t planning on getting married until 2025 or so. Get to know each other with a really, really, long engagement.
    • They do say they are going to move in with each other.
      • After they do a whole press tour. Zach and Kaity were at Barstool headquarters on Tuesday so they were in New York right away. Long days.

BACHELORETTE PREVIEW

  • We did get a sneak preview of Charity as The Bachelorette. Jesse and her are at the front of the mansion and Jesse is stirring up the drama saying that the first person Charity is going to meet is someone she knows.
    • Turns out it is her brother, Nehemiah! He is supposedly going to be going undercover on night one to make sure all of the men are there for the right reasons.
      • Nememiah’s disguise is really bad. I don’t think it is actually going to be a thing.
  • I really don’t hate this idea, but it needs to be executed right. We need to have a bachelor or bachelorette we don’t know yet. A new face. They have their first night, and only near the end of the three hour premiere (need more time to get to know the new lead of the show) does the secret hidden family member reveal themselves. Maybe right before the rose ceremony, the lead pulls this person aside in front of everyone and they exchange a family bond moment and send everyone on notice.
    • IMAGINE THE DRAMA!

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