Alright, I am very late with The Bachelorette finale, but here we are. I just want to type of my really quick thoughts on the two night, five hour finale bonanza.

  • They drew this shit out WAYYYY too long. Two nights? Fine, I can get behind that. But the three hour second night escapade was not necessary at all. It was too long. Attention draining. How do the people in the live audience do it?
  • We knew right away that Rachel’s ending did not go as planned. No matter how much body language coaching you have, you can not hide the disdain you have for someone.
  • We did not see Neil Lane this episode. A shocking development. I am not upset about it, but shocking.
    • On the topic of the rings, my girlfriend liked them. They were not as robust and obtrusive as in season’s past
  • When Gabby went to go and talk to Rachel before the big argument with Tino, you could see the MASSIVE rock on her finger
    • It is rather funny how Gabby was posing with it on her finger. Her chin in her hand. It was all very obvious.
    • At this point we did not know that Gabby was engaged yet. All the Erich happy moments came after TIno’s cringe moments.
  • The start of this episode had Emma and I all confused. Jesse comes out in all dark and states: “But there’s always hope. Maybe tonight Tino can convince Rachel that his indiscretions were just a momentary lapse in judgment. And maybe Erich can explain away those damning text messages he sent to his girlfriend just a few days before stepping out of the limo on night one.” 
    • Alright, TIno indiscretions has to be him cheating, that is easy.
    • The Erich conundrum…I had heard about the black face, but what text messages?
      • When are we going to get to the point in society where we just say that you fucked up, you didn’t know any better, and please don’t make that stupid and offensive joke again.
  • Gabby and Rachel walking out to the stage…and Gabby looks so fucking hot. Just straight up beautiful. Nom, nom, nom.
  • Back in Mexico, we know that Erich has a propensity to do the dumb boy thing and talk too much. It has gotten him in troublr with Gabby before and now she needs to be convinced, or convivence him, to get engaged.
    • Erich responds to this fairly well I think. He curses a lot saying that he wants this to work, and with Erich that is a sign that he means what he is saying.
      • Erich is the classic guy making a mistakes but not realizing it till later.
    • This talk goes well, and it is undeniable that these two are going to get engaged and now we can take bets on how long they last.
  • So Rachel tells Tino that he is the only one left…and he seems kinda sorta amped?
    • His face is paralyzed. He says that “You just made me the happiest guy in the whole world… I just want you to know this is never going anywhere.” but he is not showing that at all in his facial expressions. Sure he kisses her, but that was not confidence inducing.
  • We have reached the proposal stage, and let’s start with the bad first.
    • Tino proposes to Rachel. I did not think it was that great of a proposal. With that being said who would want to do that on national TV and look smooth and have all your words dissected, so I get I am being a jerk.
      • I just don’t think I liked the whole tricky play with words on the beginning. Don’t pretend to be ominous. Not a time for games.
    • Really don’t like how they went on a horse after they got engaged. This was a harper back to a previous date they had which if I recall correctly, was awkward in itself.
  • So this happiness with Rachel and Tino doesn’t last. Shocking. Who would have guessed?
    • Tino cheated on her. I called it. Just based of Jesse’s language.
  • So we have the sit down.
    • Tino made out with someone. That is the no go in Rachel’s mind, which is very, very fair
      • Tino being a selfish fucker? Who would have guessed??
        • OH! And he asked to be treated kindly on After The Final Rose after he admitted to doing what he did. He only cared about his own reputation.
    • I didn’t even tough on how Tino looked so fucking disheveled.
    • The person that Tino cheated on Rachel with is someone that he knew before the show, but didn’t have any dates, but then he saw her at a bar and then they “caught up”
      • Shady, shady, shady
    • Tino brought a notebook of thoughts to his debriefing with Rachel, all of which were just his thoughts about how Rachel hurt his feelings
      • I say this with all seriousness. I think Tino just shoed how Rachel tried to make things work with therapy and stuff, and he kinda did…nothing.
      • The joking thing about being the next Bachelor by Rachel was a bit of a leading question. You knew he would kinda be into that and that was a little bit of a trap.
    • Rachel came out this looking so much better than Tino. This was really the only time where I felt super sympathetic for Rachel. This time, the short end of the stick was not created by her. Rather it was created the the fool sitting across from her.
    • When Tino asks to stand outside and get some air, he just begins acting like a maniac. He is trying to pull off his microphone to no avail. He ends up shirtless!!
      • Tino wants Rachel to break up with him in an effort to make him look like the victim, but that is never ever going to happen.
      • Why is Tino complaining to the producers about this? Why is he so reliant on them to be his emotional trampoline. The same can be said for Rachel and Gabby.
    • Who the fuck was Tino talking to on the phone?
  • So now we get to Tino and Rachel during the portion of the live finale.
    • Tino looks terrible. He looks so haggard. He is so update that he had to be here.
    • The crowd did not love Tino coming out. There were audible boos.
    • Rachel seems to threaten to Tino to “go there”, and that “there” is a place that was not meant to be on the show
      • Rachel is taunting him to talk about it.
    • Going to be honest. I didn’t love this whole sir down because it was going in more circles than their talk in the house.
    • BUT THEN WAIT
      • When Aven comes out, holy shot what a moment and what a shot
      • The shot of Aven coming out, WITH TINO STILL ON THE COUCH, is savage. Just so rude. So good.
      • Aven asks Rachel if she wants to go and catch up…which is the same phrasing that Tino used with his female friend.
      • Tino wants to get out of there so much. You can see him mouthing to the producers (or on a muted mic) asking if he was good there.
  • Alright now to Gabby…who has much less drama. So Much less drama.
    • You actually see Erich look at the rings. Neil Lane gets his time.
    • The proposal is…hilarious…and not because of anything that Gabby and Erich did
      • The birds screeching! They even acknowledge it! Gabby pokes fun at it. It is such a real moment. THis shows that Gabby cane bring the best out of the moments made for fantasia when it turns realistic
    • After the heartfelt proposal and laughs, Erich asks the classic question of “can I have your number.” Just a classic moment for this show
    • Listen, there is not a lot happening in this proposal because it is all good things.
  • Alright, now in studio, what drama can possibly happen here
    • So the damning texts are about a girls that he had been in contact with before the show. He acknowledges that he led this girl on, which is a bad look.
    • We have one of these texts in life person!
      • Now this is definitive proof that these texts happened before the show, so it is not as bad as it could be.
      • Erich admits to taking the cowardly way out, which is very true.
      • Also Erich got out in front of this situation because he told Gabby about these texts way before they came public. That was super duper smart.
  • So we are not going to address the black face scenario? That seems kind of bad.
  • Zach Shallcross is the new Bachelor!
    • I am not very excited, nor disappointed., It is a perfectly fine choice, but it does not leave me really excited. I will still watch the show, but meh.
    • So Zach is going to get to meet five of these women now, but AMERICA will choose who gets the first impression rose.
      • Jesse asking Zach if he has learned all the five girls names is really mean. I mean come on here. His mind has to be going a mile a minute.
        • Going to be honest, I don’t remember any of these women’s names.
      • So Brianna gets the first impression rose from American. For a lesson, she is an entrepreneur from New Jersey. She shares an awkward moment with Zach because he has no idea how to use a phone.
  • That is a wrap for The Bachelorette. Season 19 of the Bachelorette is done. The iconic two girls experiment is done…but whether or not it will be done again is something to be determined.

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