A new season of The Bachelorette is upon us, and I for one am very excited. The Bachelor In Paradise visage has worn off (well it did over the last three weeks if I am being honest) and now we can get to the bread and butter of the franchise.
Season 18 of the The Bachelorette begins on October 19, so as a bit of a preview, let us work through bios and see who is going to be vying for the heart of Michelle Young.
North Charleston, SC
- So Alec has been married before. We are riding off of the high of Mike A. in Katie’s season, so Alec has some things to live up too.
- We have an “emotional” intelligence line dropped in the bio…
- Alec is a career driven man; maybe a little conceded when you read the bio.
- Alec’s fun facts are neither that much for or interesting? I disagree about the bowing, it can be fun.
Traveling Nurse Recruiter
- Brandon J. is one of four 26 year olds in the cast.
- “Passionate personality to keep up with his.” – Why do we need the “to keep up with his?” part? That doesn’t seem necessary and just makes Brandon J. seem a little conceded?
- Ok Brandon J, guess what? Everyone is trying to figure it out on a daily basis, so why do you think you are so high and mighty.
- So Brandon is a basketball fiend? This is a gimmick contestant who will not make it far.
- Oh, he hopped on stage at a Lil Wayne and Drake concert? So he is a stage hog and is going to try and be the center of attention.
- Brandon K. is a cutie.
- He has in his bio that he wants to make a social impact which is exactly what Michelle had said on Matt’ James season
- Brandon’s bio is a little vague…not a lot to munch on which might be good for him.
- Does anyone actually know the Cha-Cha Slide dance?
- Delivering an over-sized check would be cool but I’d much rather receive one.
- The trend of pro athletes continues with Bryan, the former NFL player. Bryan was a practice squad player who bounced around the Houston Texans, New Orleans Saints, Dallas Cowboys, Kansas City Chiefs, Minnesota Vikings, Chicago Bears, Cleveland Browns, Miami Dolphins, Carolina Panthers and Atlanta Falcons.
- Throwing in the love for romantic comedies and his older sisters is nice tough, i enjoy that.
- Bryan loving to travel is tough for Michelle who is a teacher, AKA tied down for the majority of the year.
- Loving Socrates is probably unique for a football locker room.
- Thinking that orchids are majestic is something that will be unique among all the men. Bryan has a unique bio, have to give him that.
Advertising Creative Director
Miami Beach, FL
- Would be interested to see what creative projects he has overseen.
- Also preach on finding someone who doesn’t give a shit about documenting everything they do.
- He is big into family…wants kids right away. He is old enough to say that and it isn’t weird.
- So Casey links glamping? He likes camping but not in tents? Is taht really camping?
- Eggs scrambled with salsa seems more west coast than Florida.
- Casey…not a smiler in his photo. Series dude. Getting upset dad vibes?
Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
- I am so perplexed by the coat, sweatshirt, color combo that Chris G. is wearing
- We have another Canadian. They have had a good run lately with Serena P. carrying the torch.
- UGHHHHH Chris G. does spoken word and poetry and we are going to have to see him do it.
- He has cats so that scores points with my girlfriend. The names of “Cat” and “Small Cat” may lose her though.
West Hollywood, CA
- Chris S. has a very good smolder in his photos. Also the Clark Kent, Superman hair flip.
- Okay, I see now in the bullet points that he mentions the Blue Steel face, so he has now lost more points.
- What commodities does he deal with in Hollywood? Sounds like a shady title.
- Chris, burnt pizza is not bad. Burnt Pizza is perfectly fine.
- Chris has a lot of planning done out; he knows what he likes (or at least portrays it).
Medical Sales Rep
- I like the color of Clayton’s shirt but his headshot looks really photoshopped.
- From MIssouri…that has to be unique for Bachelor Universe.
- Hmmm, directly mentioning joining him in gym for workout. That is one step over looking for someone who is active.
- Clayton relates to Michelle with his mom being a teacher. He also mentioned the students in his bio. Huge pull.
- Of fuck him, he has a rap alter ego.
- Clayton wants to own and run a gym business but he is a medical sales rep?
- Daniel looks like a spider.
- He is a very active man being a firefighter in a big city and all his hobbies.
- Okay, I really like Daniel’s bio. It does not seem too pretentious and it doesn’t end in a question or an exclamation mark.
- Daniel is a connect for champion…do we get connect four challenges in the mansion? Is this season happening in the mansion?
Los Angeles, CA
- Shit. Another wellness coach and public speaker guy. God damnit. I don’t want another Karl.
- “Emotionally articulate…” That is what Edward is looking for. I can’t tell if that is smart or just rude.
- UGH. A freaking obsessed dog person. No demands on the dog person.
- I do not like Edward. That is my take.
- No one should dream of going to Disney World.
- Ok, I’ll admit a good obstacle course is fun. But still not enough to win me over, Edward.
Salt Lake City, UT
- From Utah…is he mormon?
- Sounds like Garrett is from wealth with his world traveling.
- I wonder how Michelle will feel about a school dropout? Even though he did well after the fact.
- Why the fuck would you admit to be called “plant daddy”
Former Army Officer
- Army guy. He immediately gets past week one. Those are the rules.
- Jack enjoys hiking. It really seems like everyone loves hiking from this cast.
- Jack will throw up at the sight of an onion? Does he not like taste?
- I do feel like Michelle would be a good dancer and vibe with it so can’t wait for him to squirm.
- Does Jack arrive in his military garb?
San Diego, CA
- If Jamie is a catch, then why is he still single?
- Me and Jamie would not be friends. He lets the winds carry him meanwhile I am there trying to go with the flow.
- Jamie has never watched an episode of reality TV but he is going to appear on The Bachelorette? That seems odd.
- Will Jamie bring a piece of Ecuadorian chocolate and will he say Michelle is the best piece of chocolate he has ever tasted?
Real Estate Developer
- We have a basketball player here, a D1 player from the University of Minnesota.
- If basketball is his first love then wonder how he has stayed involved with it during the course of his life.
- I respect Joe loving snacks, but that is not a unique thing.
- I wonder how may kids Michelle will want? Being a teacher she has to love kids but she also has to grow tired of them?
- I think I like Joe. I am getting positive vibes and his smile is resonating.
- He falls hard and he falls fast for love. Like many on this show, you have to in order to appear on The Bachelorette.
- JoMarri would love to be a tour guide in Antartica. Not just go there, but lead a tour. That is something unique for sure.
- We have another puppy lover. Brownie points for the majority of folks.
- A second person who wants to own a gym as well. But this one is a personal trainer, unlike Clayton who is not in any business related to gyms or working out.
Biomedical Ph.D Student
- We have a med student on the show? How the hell he is doing that? Just taking a semester off?
- The immigrant story is awesome and now he is studying to do something medical. That is the American Dream. Cant get upset with that.
- This line is really sweet: “Leroy loves brunch, but nothing makes him happier than holding hands with the woman he loves.”
- Leroy does not like the gamble…but will he gamble on love?
- So LT is admitting he has never had struggle and is coasting through life? That sounds FARRR to good to be true. He is a liar.
- I like the watching old movies, that is kind little touch.
- What do Savannah cats look like? They have huge ears. That fits the state of Washington vibe.
- I was going to question Martin’s hair but then I saw that he was from Miami and it all made sense.
- If Martin is a disciplined worker-outer, how will be handle the mansion living? There will be a lot of free time to workout, but the eating, etc.
- They used teaching in his bio and related it to his parents for another call to Michelle and her job.
- Will we get traveling back on this season of The Bachelorette? Random question but a ton of people are talking about traveling, etc.
San Diego, CA
- An Academic Advisor. That has to be at a college or university, right?
- Mollique’s favorite author is Nicholas Sports. That is sappiness so he may be confident in himself. I want to ask Mollique what his thoughts are for the movie?
- Mollique has a son so we have three fathers on the show.
- His morals of “selfless, patient and well-mannered” do fit Michelle very well.
- The blond dyed hair must be a thing and a trend I do not know about.
- I don’t want to be mean. How do you pronounce Nayte’s name?
- HE IS 6’8″??? Jesus is Michelle has the tall man rule then Nayte is all good.
- Nayte’s bio got the teammate line in there for the basketball aspect of Michelle.
- Who doesn’t like edible arrangements?
- I don’t think that Nayte is the only 6 foot 8 inch guy to struggle dancing. That is a lot of limb to control.
- We have a Rutgers basketball alum here.
- There is not a lot of depth to Olumide’s bio which means he either makes it far and he doesn’t get anywhere.
- I can respect an athlete who also enjoys the theater. Have to spread the wealth.
- The shirt Olumide is wearing looks like windbreaker type materials but isn’t a windbreaker so I am confused.
- Neuroscientist. He is smarter than the rest of us. Also, he is just a better soul because he is looking for solutions to Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s.
- Pardeep also loves Comic-Con so he is a nerd. Pardeep is starting to win my hard.
- Pardeep loves to sleep in on Saturday’s and New York’s Eve. I don’t like ever one of these things.
- Also, I want Pardeep’s outfit is fire. Pardeep is high on my list.
Port St. Joe, FL
- A pizza what? A Pizzapreneur?
- Peter moved to Italy to study cuisine…and he loves Pizza. He looks like an Italian.
- Wanting a culinary empire…that is a way to phrase it.
- Peter fucking loves food. It is his number one priority.
- House music and no libraries? Peter and I would not be friends.
- PJ looks like a movie character. He is the swashbuckling firefighter. He and Daniel will battling it out for the top axe.
- “Nothing lights his fire…” That is a pun that actually made me smirk.
- This is the second person who has said he is the last single friend of his friends group and that worries me about his notifications.
- I don’t like the Opera either PJ. Theater and Broadway is cool. Opera is boring.
Medical Sales Rep
Los Angeles, CA
- Don’t like his eyes. Don’t like his eyebrows. They are scaring me.
- Rick may have won me over because he loves game board nights to see the insights of a person and see how competitive they are. Those are really good things.
- Get the #Swoon out of here.
- GTFO out of here saying you learned everything at Hitch.
- Rick is not a fan of double dates…well he is super duper fucked on The Bachelorette.
Rancho Cucamonga, CA
- Rodney literally looks like a cuddly teddy bear.
- What was Rodney’s career-end injury? The NFL trend continues.
- Interesting that Rodney is looking for a student-athlete. Specific about it.
- Intermittent fasting…will that be effected if he is on dates? That is not a lifestyle for everyone.
New York, NY
- A Romeo is a mathematician. He is smarter than I.
- Ugh, the fucking Romeo and Juliet math formula thing. I get it, you have to do it, but still.
- Nothing turns him on more than someone with a curious mind. I do like that.
- Studying abroad in Japan for three years? That is pretty cool. That is some good culture.
- Romeo looks a good person. Just the smile and look. He looks nice.
San Jose, CA
- Ryan has Jared Carrabis hair.
- Compassionate and competitive. Those two traits I can get behind.
- What is a raisin ranch? Is it literally a ranch for growing raisins? Never heard of such a thing.
- I respect that Ryan is a list maker. I am as well. Also Ryan loves excel spreadsheets, so just kudos all the way around.
- Also Ryan is an enthusiastic cuddler? Ryan and I are very close to one another. We have some things.
Financial Crimes Analyst
- Financial crime analyst seems like an awesome job. One you definitely have to be smart for.
- Spencer has a son! Will it be possible for him to go through the process? Will he be a Hunter or a Michael A.?
- Spencer loves to spend time in a hot tub, so he is going to be PERFECT for The Bachelorette.
- OH SPENCER, YOU HAVE JUST LANDED ON MY SHIT LIST! YOU DON’T LIKE MOVIES THAT REQUINRE ALL OF YOUR ATTENTION?? SPENCER, YOU ARE DEAD TO ME!
- spencer will no longer have his name capitalized. That is my protest.
Grand Rapids, MI
- WTF is an academic interventionist?
- The “tired of being only single one in his group of friends” screams looking for a relationship but not looking for love.
- Will, I love when people give money as a gift. Money is practical.
- Well I am a Leo too but I hate the fact that he put a horoscope on his bullet points.
- Based off what I have read on Will…I do not think he is the type of to climb Mount Everest.
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