Standings at the end of week five.

  • According to ESPN, Mike Ritz now has a 97% chance of making the playoffs. He also has the most points in the league by a wide margin being the only one with 700+.
  • I am realizing that the home and away record means absolutely nothing in the season stats. Why is it a thing when we don’t associate points with the home team?
  • Ronan is working the waiver wire and free agency beat like he is managing a Madden or 2K franchise. 18 moves. Next highest total is nine moves from Tommy Simon. Ronan, for the record, has $76 left in his free agency budget.
  • The top three tams in the standings are the three teams that have scored the most points. The standings are actually bearing out the truth. Those same three teams (Ritz, Tommy & Stanko) are ranked fifth, seventh and sixth in terms of points scored against.
  • Buzzi, the last place team, needs to find new friends. He has the fourth most points scored in the league and the most points scored against. It is just unfair. Just darn bad luck.
  • This week coming up, week six. We get No. 1 vs. No. 2 matchup. We have Mike Ritz vs. Tommy Simon. All eyes on that one.

Week 5 Matchup Recap

Dirty Mike And The Boys (134.56) defeats Now You CeeDee Now You Don’t (128.0)

You look down the box score of Ronan and Ritz’s game and you’ll see very similar themes in the staple positions. Both quarterbacks underperformed. Austin Eckler was the high scorer for Ronan and Derrick Henry was the same for Ritz. Each of their RB2, WR1 and WR2 were either fine or underwhelming.

Ronan that he could Cee Dee victory with Dawson Knox scoring 19.2 points in the tight end position, but then Ritz knocked down the doors and took the will out of Ronan’s winning hymns. Mike Williams, the MVP of the matchup, came down with 32.5 points.

Injury concerns for both teams moving forward as well. Ronan is losing wide receiver depth with Juju Smith-Schuster out for the year and Ritz has to begin worrying with how how hobbled Kyler Murray’s shoulder looked Sunday afternoon.

Ritz has won four in a row now and has cemented himself as the favorite in the league. Meanwhile, Ronan is fading, losing three straight.

Jonathan Taylor Thomas Brady (138.04) Defeats My Glockz Out (107.5)

We need to begin by shaming Mr. McLaughlin for playing Dalvin Cook when he was inactive. He was announced inactive prior to the game. Tommy was indeed caught with his pants down and his Glockz out because if he had shifted his roster around then he would won the matchup.

The same shaming can go to Jimmy Simon this week for playing DaVante Parker when he was named inactive prior to the start of the game.

Guys, this week, I did the research on the inactive lists. I am evolving.

Jonathan Taylor, in a brutal loss on Monday, was very strong with 30.4 points. That was plenty of cushion for Jimmy. It also just clicked with my that his team name is Jonathan Taylor as in his, and then Thomas Brady as in his QB. I now feel stupid.

The MVPs of this matchup are the combined distractions these two men have in order to both play players whom were not suited up. Jimmy may want to also kiss Green Bay’s feet for making the Bengals defense have -1.0 points, but that’s not as fun.

Deus Ex Mac (142.82) defeats Team Lobo (121.98)

Justin Herbert, you beautiful soul. 42.82 points from the QB position is a great way to win a fantasy football matchup. Now we can move on.

Lobo has to be frustrated that his two top tier running backs in Saquon Barkley and Clyde Edwards Helaire are both banged up and likely to miss time. His next few weeks may be salvaged is Myles Gaskin continues to put up 26.9 points up every week.

The New York Giants injury bug also bit Lobo with Kenny Golloday. Youzers.

Speaking for myself, I was happy to see DeAndre Hopkins come back to life with 17.7 points. I misplayed the flex position taking a chance on a receiver against the bad Tennessee Titans defense, but luckily it didn’t bite me in the butt.

The MVP of this matchup is the training staff of the New York Giants who thankfully ruled out Barkley and Golladay for the respective game when they got hurt on Sunday. Without them, I’d be in deep trouble because Lamar Jackson decided to put up 41.38 freaking points.

Ja’Marr The Merrier (159.0) Defeats Ooooo Jeudy James Jeudy (140.3)

Tommy Simon’s has found its groove. It’s like the squad went out for a few drinks and decided it was time get to know each other better and generate all the positive upside.

Mr. Simon (as his students call him) was able to put up massive numbers even with Matthew Stafford scoring just 16.5 points. His running backs combined to score 68.2 points. Folks, that is what we call solid. Also imagine what Tommy’s total would be if Mason Crosby didn’t miss nearly every clutch field goal??

McGinnity got a surprisingly massive game from Chase Claypool but it wasn’t enough to lift up the disappointing outings of A.J. Brown and Adam Thielen. McGinnity did make it respectable thought with Marquis Brown nearly tripling his projected points.

The MVP for Tommy’s victory is whatever liquid lubricant that got his running backs to jive well together.

ESPNFan 12319776 (135.46) Defeats Get McCaffreinated (131.68)

In a battle of the early bottom feeders within the league, it all ended up coming down to Monday night. I don’t think Steve or Buzzi expected this one to get lose but Mark Andres scoring 36.2 points was a shocker. In all the weeks prior, Andrews scored a combined 34.3 points. Steve ended up getting lucky.

Steve got consistent scoring from across the lineup, highlighted by Davante Adams blistering 32.1 points. It is odd that Aaron Rodgers had “only” 19.76 points and Adams had such an above average day, but don’t see any complaining coming from Scarsdale.

Meanwhile, from Queens, I think we can here the faint cursing tones of Buzzi point at his TV and his multiple disappointing performances. Brandon Cooks and A.J. Green combined for 5.6 points even his kicker scored just 3.0 points. Patrick Mahomes has been held in relative regular form to being the season, and without his heroics, Buzzi’s outlook is growing bleaker.

MVP of this contest is Adams, that is an easy choice. Not much pizzazz there. Benefited from the overtime against the Bengals and Steve moves to 2-3.

Week Six Matchups

Team Lobo (2-3) vs. Jonathan Taylor Thomas Brady (3-2)
Get McCaffreinated (1-4) vs. Ooooo Jeudy James Jeudy (2-3)
Deus Ex Mac (3-2) vs. Now You CeeDee Now You Don’t (2-3)
Ja’Marr The Merrier (3-2) vs. Dirty Mike And The Boys (4-1)
ESPNFan 12319776 (2-3) vs. My Glockz Out (3-2)

Stanko Excel Lists | Movies, Books, Podcasts. TV Shows
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“Stanko’s Stance” Podcast Feed (Apple)
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