Stanko's Stance

We are back. I am back on the golf course or the first time since I fractured my elbow in May. 

This round was the most nervous I had been to play sports in a long time. It isn’t like running where I could go for a light jog and see if I could handle it. The only way I could know if my elbow could handle the contact was to hit a golf ball and see what happens. 

Sure, one could argue that I should have gone to a driving range before agreeing to play a round. To those people, I would say you are right. But I would offer a rebuttal noting the nearest driving range is nearly half an hour away, I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to play. I wanted that competition. I needed to know if I could do it for real.

I went out on Sunday, July 30th with a 10:40 AM tee-time. As fate would have it, Stephan (Emma’s brother) was free so he joined me on this summer’s second maiden voyage. There was no way to know if I was ready to come back until I came back. Well, I am back, for better or for worse.

No better place to return than Oak Hills Golf Course.  Let’s go play 18.

Hole 1
Par 4 | 374 Yards

First hole back, and I am second off the tee. 

Stephan and I are playing two other players, one of whom was named Kevin and was pretty damn good at golf.

Anyway, I am thinking of random thoughts just to distract myself from the mental anguish I felt before finally swinging the club. As I am driving in the tee and placing the ball on it, I decide to embrace the “Fuck It We’ll Do It Live” mentality. 

I hit the ball. Bada Bing-bada boom! The ball is in the air! I only have a slight tingling sensation in my elbow! What a win this is!

The rest of the hole was sort of a blur because I was just ecstatic to be able to take more than one swing. I have written down that my second shot was about 120 yards in, so I took out my nine iron and landed it just short of the green. I Texas wedge onto the green, then missed a five foot par putt before tapping in for bogey.

Sure, three putts are no fun. But you want to know what is fun? Playing golf, and I am doing that. Also a bogey on my first hole back? I’ll take that and run to the bank.

SCORE: 5 (3 Putts)
Handicap: 3
Score Overall: 5 (+1)

Hole 2
Par 4 | 295 Yards

The second hole is a mid-iron off the tee then a somewhat blind second shot onto a small green where you DO NOT want to miss left. I kinda get to be a caddy this round because Kevin has never played the course before, and this is the only course I could tell you about like the back of my hand.

I take out five iron and I place it directly in the middle of the fairway. I mean good lord…what is happening here? I then have an approach shot that is just over 100 yards…and I put it on the green. I repeat, what is happening here??

I two-putt from like 40 feet away because I have an excellent lag putt that gets me to within two feet. I was smart (maybe inadvertently) and landed below the hole so I had a majority uphill contour for my first putt.

A bogey and a par to begin my round. Sir, yes please and thank you!

SCORE: 4 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 9
Score Overall: 9 (+1)

Hole 3
Par 3 | 93 Yards

I fucking hate this hole. I hate it so much. The short, less than 100 yard downhill disaster that lives in my brain as a “thinning it island.”  This round I take out my sand wedge hoping for just a nice and easy pitch that gets carried by the wind onto the green WHICH HAS THE FLAG AT THE FRONT AGAIN. IT IS ALWAYS IN THE FRONT OF THE GREEN!

I end up in the same spot as I always do. I end up in the rough behind the green. Per usual. I chip out and I hit it well from the shit but it rolls down the hill and comes off a slope and rolls to a murky looking fringe. I have to chip again, then I two putt, and I am writing down a five on this par three. I can’t be too upset because I had a horrendous tee shot.

Next time I play this hole, I am going to do a pitch. Literally going to line up as if it is a bump and run and go from there. No tee, just a clip clean and hope.

SCORE: 5 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 17
Score Overall: 14 (+3)

Hole 4
Par 4 | 307 Yards

The fourth hole is a tricky one just because of the tee box. There is room available on the right side of the fairway, but trees coming in from the right impede anyone from directly aiming that way. I aim as far right as I can, and then hope it doesn’t banana hook too far left into the trees. 

This time around I hit it poorly, but because I don’t get my full power behind it, the slice is not as terrible. This is a happy accident, and maybe something I should think about doing going forward?

My drive ends up on the left side but about 10 yards short of the woods. I end up about 130 yards short of the green, so I take out my seven iron (which would be a club I would use a lot this day) and take a hack. To my delight, I hit a pretty damn good golf shot that gets up onto the elevated green. I drive up the slope and find myself off the green on the fringe in the back left portion. 

This would become my second three putt of the day, but like the first hole it is because I basically use my first putt as a chip. I always say the margin of error is better with the putter, but I never seem to reach the ceilings that a great chip could.

SCORE: 5 (3 Putts)
Handicap: 5
Score Overall: 19 (+4)

Hole 5
Par 3 | 175 Yards

After the short par three on hole three, we have the longer par three here on hole five. Playing 175 yards and slightly downhill, I take out my four iron and just aim to get it anywhere near the green. The front of the green has a steep slope so if you land on that then you are going to roll off.

That is what usually happens to me. Usually. But this time my four iron is looking good. It is looking really good. Like, really good.

My tee shot ends up in the center of the green, perhaps 25 to 30 feet away from the hole. I genuinely think that this is the first time I have ever landed on this green in regulation. There is a first time for everything.

I did three putt for the second straight hole, and my par putt was within gimme range but I was never going to take that. Need to earn your pars, and I did not.  Kevin said that Stephan should have given it to me, but I would have refused anyway.

SCORE: 4 (3 Putts)
Handicap: 15
Score Overall: 23 (+5)

Hole 6
Par 4 | 284 Yards

Time to take the five iron out again. A short par four, and we are going to follow the exact same formula that worked on the second hole.

My five iron only goes about 140 yards. I hit it very poorly, but I do hit it fairly straight but it goes left into the rough. I am fortunate to be a lefty because I am able to get relief, which makes my second shot a tad easier. It is about 140sh to the green, so I take out my five iron again. Yes I am only about 140sh away from the green, but it is uphill so my thinking is that it will maybe be a tad long instead of way long into the practice range area.

My second five iron is hit cleaner than my drive, resulting in a shot that lands on the back of the green. I didn’t really know where the flag was, and when I walk up to the green I see that it was in front of the green, so I have a long first putt coming up. But boy, oh boy, did I nail it. A good lag putt gets me within two feet of the cup and it allows me to put down a second par in the first six holes.

Things are good too well! We haven’t gotten to the long holes yet, they are coming.

SCORE: 4 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 13
Score Overall: 27 (+5)

Hole 7
Par 4 | 336 Yards

his is where I take my only mulligan of the day. My first drive on this hole went 30 degrees to my right and directly into the ground. How and why? I couldn’t tell you. It was my only atrocious drive of the day. It was my only “good lord, what heppened?” moment on the tee box.

The rest of the hole was a bit of a disaster as well. My second attempt at a drive went fairly straight, but the roll out of it pinched it near the weeds in the rough on the left hand side. If I was a smart man I would not have tried to go over the trees and land it on the green from 110 yards away. Instead that is exactly what I did and my ball hits a branch and winds up among the thicket.

So I drop near the woods at the bottom of the hill and it is my fourth shot. It is a pitching contest for myself sow to try and get close. AND GOOD LORD, I DID IT! What a fantastic chip. I find myself within 10 feet of the hole after being nearly 30 yards away. Amazing. So proud of myself.

And then I one putt it! I saved a bogey (counting my mulligan). Worked well for me! This hole, while having many poor shots, ended up with two of my better close range shots of the day.

SCORE: 5 (1 Putt)
Handicap: 7
Score Overall: 32 (+6)

Hole 8
Par 5 | 484 Yards

I am losing the driver. I am losing it. My first shot on the first par five of the day is a banana hook, double order. It ends up in the woods and I am hitting my third shot from the rough nearly 300 yards away. 

Because I am in the rough I can not hit wood, so I take out my four iron and hit it roughly 140 yards. Now I am still over 150 yards away, I  am hoping to get this fourth shot on the green to have a chance to putt for par. I do not succeed. Instead I end up going forward just about 50 yards and leaving myself a nasty inbetween club like shot. I take out a pitching wedge thinking a nice easy swing was all I needed, but I hit the shot incredibly poorly and I end up way left of the green in some roots and nasty shit. No other way to put it.

But what I can put down with a pen and a sharpie for that matter is that I hit the chip of my life from this area. What a chip. Frankly, two straight holes with great soft touch from the pitching wedge. And two straight holes of me one-putting from about ten feet away.

The driver may be going a bit array, but my short game is picking up the slack.

SCORE: 7 (1 Putt)
Handicap: 11
Score Overall: 39 (+8)

Hole 9
Par 4 | 440 Yards

The final hole on the front nine is a challenging hole. Rated the hardest on the course. It is just a long par four that demands patience.

I do hit a good drive, but it is tailing left and it ends up in the wonderful fairway perched bunker that stands roughly 200 yards away from the tee box. Now who put that there? It is almost like they knew something.

My second shot out of the bunker is with either a seven or an eight iron. I just wanted to get out of there. My approach shot to the green was 83 yards, and the green is a tad bit elevated. I take out a pitching wedge and I am immediately telling it to “GET! GO!”

Well I had so much fun in the bunker by the fairway, so why not make it a double beach day on the ninth hole. Much to my happiness, my fourth shot gets out of the bunker, but I hit it far cleaner than I would have expected. It comes out hot and rolls off the green and into the rough near the back left of the green.

From there it is a classic chip and two-putt.

I am writing down a seven on this hole, a rather disheartening hole. I am in need of a pick me up, but the tenth hole…a par five…is looming.

SCORE: 7 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 1
Score Overall: 46 (+11)

Hole 10
Par 5 | 528 Yards

This hole sneaks up on me every single time. The longest hole on the course is never inviting, and even after a quick pee break and a snack refresher, there is still something evil about this hole.

My drive is not a good one. Much like the ninth hole, but just not as much distance. My first shot goes about 170 yards and ends up in the rough between the ninth and tenth holes. I try to hit a low punching shot into the fairway to set myself up for a third shot, but I decide it is a better idea to hit a line drive right into a tree branch.

There is nothing like having your ball ricochet backwards in front of a group that is on a different hole. Nothing like it.

So now my third shot is from further back. This time I tried over the trees, but didn’t get enough of it. I hit the top of the trees and my ball stopped dead in its tracks. Now I am hitting my fourth shot from still over 200 yards away with another ball in the rough. I am really making a mess of this hole.

I eventually hit a good shot that gets me closer to the green, but still my fifth shot is from about 100 yards out. I take out my pitching wedge and I push it left of the green, into the rough behind a mound of grass that blocks my view of the green.

Much like on hole eight, I somehow pulled a chip out of my ass that saves my day and limits the damage. With touch I have no idea how I attained, I put my chip to within tap-in distance and I have a one-putt for a double-bogey.

The double-bogeys are nasty business, but I have been able to save a lot of damage with some very timely putts.

SCORE: 7 (1 Putt)
Handicap: 4
Score Overall: 53 (+13)

Hole 11
Par 4 | 365 Yards

I do very much love this hole. I do love it so much.

I hit my drive a clean 220 yards and it curls a perfectly clean right to left and situates itself in the middle of the fairway. It must feel good to be this good at golf all the time.

My second shot was 135 yards away, and it is a downhill shot. I take out an eight iron thinking that I would rather be short than long. I was a tad bit short, but I was still on the green. A green in regulation! My first (and only) on the back nine. 

Playing partner Kevin and I had the exact same putt, only that mine was a bit further away. I went first and I didn’t give it nearly enough juice. I left my first putt probably about 20 feet short. I tried to have a ball land atop of a ridge and then roll down towards the cup. I didn’t get it to the top of that ridge.

I ended up three-putting this hole and writing down a five on the scorecard. While I wish that I had a par after a GIR, a bogey is a nice rebound from what I have been doing on the longer holes around the turn.

SCORE: 5 (3 Putts)
Handicap: 10
Score Overall: 58 (+14)

Hole 12
Par 5 | 501 Yards

The last par five of the day and it plays out like a traditional Stanko par five.

I hit a good drive that landed in the heart of the fairway that flew about 216 yards. A second straight fairway in regulation is almost nice to check off in my scorebook. Still a very long way to go to the hole, I tried hitting my one wood for the first time in the round and it went as poorly as one would think. I hit a wormburner that did go straight, but only about 100 yards, leaving me with still over 170 to go to the green.

I take out my four iron and the shot lands short of the green. These are the breaks when you hit a bad second shot. 

A chip and a two-putt later and I am writing down a bogey six with a two putt.

This was a standard par five. Nothing special. 

SCORE: 6 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 8
Score Overall: I 64 (+15)

Hole 13
Par 3 | 154 Yards

As my friend Ritz would say, El Diablo came out on this hole. The short par three with a skinny ass green has never been a favorite of mine, and this time around I managed to hit it to a spot I never have before. I hit my ball to the left of a set of three trees, and these three trees are among a gaggle of rocks and brush.

Essentially my second shot is either punch the trees and play the circumstance game with the obstacle. I decide to go through the trees because there is a gap, and somehow, someway, I make it work. With my sand wedge I get it through the trees and onto the fringe of the back of the green. Now I have a legit chance to par. 

Now, naturally because I am who I am, I three putt from about 30 feet away and I am writing down a five for this hole. 

But can I really be that upset about it if I was at one point behind trees and had to work through rocks and branches? No, I really can’t complain.

SCORE: 5 (3 Putts)
Handicap: 8
Score Overall: 69 (+17)

Hole 14
Par 4 | 386 Yards

I really need to start taking pictures of these holes so you poor readers can get a sense of what I am looking at off the tee. I have said it about this hole once, and I can say it again, but it just does not fit my shot shape.

Hindsight being 20/20, I should hit just gotten it out there with an iron and then taken my medicine getting it up to this very elevated hole. But instead I took out the driver, and that proved to be a very big mistake. I aim right, and I hit it right, and I think there might be A CHANCE, a tiny small chance, that it went through the trees and curled back into play. I thought this because I didn’t hear any hard knocks of tree trunks.

But alas, I could not find anything. So I have to drop. My third shot from the right side rough is about 175 yards away, and I am able to get it to roughly 30 yards in front of the hole on a giant upslope before the green. The very funny part of this was that everyone who played this whole hole ended up in the same exact position as I did. It was a pitching contest.

I chip it past the hole, landing it a few yards past where I wanted it and now I have a downhill putt to try and score a bogey. I don’t make it, but I do two putt it.

A double-bogey is very fair score when I lose a ball OB.

SCORE: 6 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 2
Score Overall: 75 (+19)

Hole 15
Par 3 | 185 Yards

The longest par three of the course is playing under 200 yards today due to the fact that the flag is placed near the front of the green.

I take out my four iron and I hit my drive exactly how far I think I would. About 170sh yards, which means I am short of the green. I conceded to myself that I would rather be short and straight than possibly wayward left, which is where I ended up last time and paid the price.

So I am in an okay place, below the green, about 30 feet short of the hole. The issue with this shot is that I have a massive hill in front of me. The dropoff from this green is steep, and I could either try and chip it close to the hole and hope it doesn’t roll way past it, or I could putt it up the hill and pray I get the speed right.

I take out the putter. I take it out and I try it. And I fuck it up. I do not hit my putt hard enough from off the green. The fringe swallows up some speed, and then the hill makes sure to vacuum up any zest that is remaining. My ball makes it about three-quarters up the hill, then rolls back down. 

FUCK!

With anger boiling in my vein, I attempt the putt again, this time hitting it hard enough but forgetting to aim in the proper spot. It leaves me about a 10 foot putt for bogey which I miss, so I am tapping in a double-bogey after having a very effective tee shot.

SCORE: 5 (4 Putts)
Handicap: 12
Score Overall: 80 (+21)

Hole 16
Par 4 | 342 Yards

After making an absolute mess on the 15th hole, it is time to bounce back on the 16th hole. The hole is fairly straight with the green elevated at a slight left angle when aiming your second shot. But first you have to hit your first shot.

I may have found something with my driver because this shot did not have much of a tail on it at all. There was a very slight right to left, but nothing dramatic. One could even argue it was the wind. I had aimed right because I was assuming my shot would take a hard turn left, but instead I ended up in the right side rough. However the rough is very trampled on, so it must be a pretty popular place to miss.

From about 140 yards out, I take out my five iron. YES I KNOW THIS IS TOO MUCH CLUB. DON’T YELL AT ME. My rationale is that I am going uphill, so add a club, and I would rather hit a club that I have been hitting well all day instead of mixing in something I don’t have confidence in.

I hit the shot, and it starts fading to the left. I am doing the Carlton Fisk lean to try and keep it in play. I see the ball bounce off the hill that is raising the green on the left hand side.  It seems like a very hard bounce, so I have no idea where the ball ends up.

To my unexpected delight, I am still in play and it is not even that bad. Granted I have a very long chip up a steep hill where I can’t even see the green, but it is better than a lost ball. My chip comes out what I would characterize and softly, but the golf ball still rolls past the hole and onto the fringe on the right side of the green. I have to chip it again, and my second must more conventional chip gets me to within 10 feet of the hole.

I one-putt it. I fucking nail it. Dead center, nailed the putt. What a bogey save. What a fucking outstanding bogey save.

SCORE: 5 (1 Putt)
Handicap: 6
Score Overall: 85 (+22)

Hole 17
Par 4 | 336 Yards

I fucking destroyed this golf ball. Good lord, I fucking destroyed this tee shot. It felt so fucking good. Best drive of the day, by far. I hit it dead straight. No turn, no fade, not slice. It was as if my mental pro tracer was traced with a ruler. Outstanding. 

My drive puts me about 120 yards away from the hole, which means I have the choice of going nine iron and hoping I catch it super flush and clean, and I can go eight iron and have the risk of going long.

I take out the nine iron because I don’t think I have hit my eight iron all day. My nine iron lands about 115 yards from where I hit it from, and that puts it square in the bunker that acts like a moat in front of the green. Ploop. First (and last) sand trap on the back nine.

Maybe it is because I am playing with less care than I normally do, but for the third time today I get my shot out of the bunker on the first try. And this time my pitch out is actually nice, like it lands and rolls out, putting me about 20 feet from the cup. 

Two putts later it is another five.

SCORE: 5 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 14
Score Overall: 90 (+23)

Hole 18
Par 4 | 300 Yards

My one gripe with this golf course is that the final hole is nothing special. You can’t really hit the driver off of it unless you can hit it over 250 and pretty straight. And if you have the natural slice like me, then you will never hit the driver off this hole. It is a lot like hole two.

But with that being said, it is the last hole so I take both driver and a five iron to the tee box. I first hit the driver knowing it wasn’t going to play well. Turns out I was correct, and it was out of bounds left. Then I took my five iron which I knew was the smarter play. Much like on hole two, I put myself in a good spot about 135 yards away from the green. I take out my seven iron, and for what feels like the 20th time this round, I land just off the green. This time a tad short.

It reads three putts on my scorecard, and much like on the 15th hole, the choice in club failed me. In front of the green there was a drain, and I thought I could direct this putt to go to the right of the drain and finesse it onto the green. Turns out I have target precision aim and I hit the drain on the nose. That means my first putt comes up short of the green, and then from there it’s two putts and a bogey five to end the round.

My round concludes with three straight bogeys, which is a positive way to end it.  I will take that.

SCORE: 5 (3 Putts)
Handicap: 16
Score Overall: 95 (+24)

FINAL THOUGHTS

• I hit a lot of five irons and seven irons this round. Left my self a lot of 130sh yard approach shots and I was smart off some tee boxes just hitting iron. Not all the tee boxes. But some of them.
• This is the lowest round I have recorded ever at Oak. Even if I record my mulligan, it would still tie my best score at Oak Hills.
• I one-putted the seventh, tenth and 16th holes for the first time in my Oak Hills career. Love to see that.
  • On this note, I recorded back-to-back one putts for the first time ever at Oak Hills as well.
  • Three in four hills is pretty damn good if I say myself.
• My average approach distance was 138 yards, which is right in my range of the seven iron. I did not do this on purpose. I wish I could say that I did. But I did not. Maybe I should make it a habit?
• Four of my five fairways in regulations were on the back nine. It would have been nice if I had some of the putting magic I had in the first round here in the second half.
• Three penalty strokes were assessed this round. I think I was minus-three on the ball found-lost ratio.

COMPARING OAK HILL ROUNDS

*Averaged out scores on holes prior based off par to generate full score for 18.
^Does not include scores on 9/2/22 that are averages
**FIR & GIR doesn’t include holes 14-18 & putts are averaged.

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