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Super Bowl Movie Trailers Wrap-Up
I was working the Super Bowl at the Scottsdale Barstool bar (I have thoughts on that if you really want to know), so I did not get a chance to […]
I was working the Super Bowl at the Scottsdale Barstool bar (I have thoughts on that if you really want to know), so I did not get a chance to watch any of the commercials during the Big Game. While I think the comedic value of the ads during the Super Bowl has dwindled since my time as a youth, there has been a surplus of movie trailers. I am not disappointed with this evolution. So here I go, watching the trailers that I did not get a chance to last Sunday.
“65”
I am officially all in on 65 (2023). An original science-fiction action shoot-em-up starring the likes of Adam Driver…AND DINOSAURS?? The close-up of the gun firing bullets and the ammo being used reminds me of the best of Halo. This is just the type of thing that I absolutely love to eat up. It is giving me a little bit of Predators (2010) vibes…hunters on a planet they don’t know trying to outlast something completely alien to them. Throw in the classic trope of needing to protect a child, and you have yourself a movie made for a different decade with modern special effects and acting chops.
65 appears in theaters on March 10.
“Air”
Alright, yea. I am all in. Air (2023) is a Ben Affleck directed movie that focuses on the acquisition of Michael Jordan to the Nike brand. I do not know a whole lot about this story, but I am fucking excited to learn about it. I have strong Ford v. Ferrari (2019) vibes, which may be aided by the fact that Matt Damon is staring in this movie as well.
I mean look at trailer thumbnail. Look at this look. The jacket. The shades. It all works.
Also Ben Affleck is good at making small focused stories. Argo (2012) garnered Affleck as Oscar, Gone Baby Gone (2007) got him on the map and The Town (2010) is a great example of artistic blockbuster. We do not need to talk about Live By Night (2016), so seven years later, this is hopefully going to be a return to form.
I have not looked at the IMDB cast in this, but I kind of hope that we DO NOT see Michael Jordan in this movie. Let us see the back of his head. Let us (maybe) hear him talk…but I don’t want him to be a character. This is about marketing a legend, and legends are more than tangible. Specially when it comes to Michael Jordan.
Air jumps into theaters on April 5th.
“Cocaine Bear”
I think I live in a Barstool bubble, but there are a shit ton of people excited for this movie. In terms of myself…Cocaine Bear (2023) is a movie…one that I am not that keen on seeing. I don’t know what, but I get a Sharknado (2013) vibes from this, and that was never something that popped into my interest sphere at all.
Aright, alright. Perhaps that shit is too harsh…but still. I am having a very hard time buying into this movie. Is it Elizabeth Banks directing? Is it the fact it is staring the late Ray Liotta? I don’t know. I am just having a lot of trouble. Perhaps I should believe because it does have the likes of Keri Russell, Margo Martindale, Alden Ehrenreich, Matthew Rhys (The Americans connection), Isiah Whitlock, and more.
I don’t know why, but I think I like my monster movies to not be comedies? I guess I would want them to be so good that is bad type of thing? Perhaps I want them to surprise me like Crawi (2019), or disappoint me a bit like Beast (2022). I am going to check Cocaine Bear out, but once it appears on Peacock. I am sorry, I can’t even pretend to want to see this in theaters when it releases on February 24th.
“Creed III”
This is a Jonathan Majors coming out party, and I am absolutely all about it. Coming out on March 4th, Creed III (2023) delves into a different plot structure, much like Rocky III (1982) did back in the day. You need your hero to go up against an absolute monster, and it would appear that Creed III has its Mr. T. Now Clubber Land is not as good a name as Damian Anderson, but the muscles and demeanor match.
There is no doubt that Creed III looks stylish, and Michael B. Jordan is putting his best foot forward as a first time director. The story does not have a grounding character like aging Rocky (Sylvester Stallone), so more may fall on Creed’s fatherly responsibilities to relate to he audience.
“Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves”
I do not care, I am stoked for Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023). I plan on watching this with my sister who is a huge DnD fan. I wish I had enough time to get into that world, so this is going to a (hopefully) nice easy gateway for me.
You gonna hate on me enjoying movies with my sisters? How dare you.
Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves is out March 31.
“Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 3”
I do not care about Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023). For this interested, it comes out only in theaters on May 5.
“Indiana Jones And The Dial Of Destiny”
James Mangold directing Indiana Jones And The Dial Of Destiny (2023) is the only thing keeping me optimistic about this movie right now. The first few previews have hit the nostalgia buttons right, and we are back to battling Nazis which suits to better movies. We can all agree that Raiders Of The Lost Ark (1981) and The Last Crusade (1989) are the best two movies of the franchise, and in each one Indy takes down Nazis.
We get a good look at Mads Mikkelsen as an asshole, looking a lot like Toht (Ronald Lacey) from Raiders. We also see Indiana pulling off the hat punch again, calling back to the original trilogy once again.
The thing is that Indiana Jones is fucking old, but he is still jumping out of planes and stuff? That is the stuff I am going to need to have some convincing. The cast is great. I trust the director and the score is going to be incredible…but make sure the story is good and “believable”, and by that I mean logically sensible for the age these characters are.
The new potential Top Gun: Maverick (2022) generation gap juggernaut comes out in theaters on June 30, 2023.
“Fast X”
BREAKING NEWS! Dom Toretto needs to save his family. What is this, the sixth time his family has been put in harms way? Is it more?
We can all agree that F9: The Fast Saga (2021) is hot trash. I think we can all also agree that the quality of this franchise has not been stellar in terms of consistency. There are many problems that one can bring up, but for myself, the biggest problem is…Dom Toretto. Sorry Vin Diesel, I don’t think you can carry a movie and I am sorry, but this character is more predictable than a pre-schooler’s read-a-long book.
This Super Bowl teaser pins Toretto up against Dante, played by Jason Mamoa. Nothing like naming your bad guy the devil to try and make him hard-nosed.
I will watch this movie, but I will not be making any effort to watch it quickly. This is falling into the same bucket as another movie further down the list, Transformers: Rise Of The Beasts (2023).
The end of the road begins in theaters on May 19th.
“The Flash”
This is the shorter spot cut down from the full three-minute trailer that dropped on YouTube. Safe to say The Flash (2023) was the most anticipated preview expected during the Super Bowl. Does the speed demon live up to the height?
Fuck. This is a good preview. God damnit. The embattled and overall just bad person Ezra Miller appears to be leading a potentially well-rounded super-hero movie. Shit.
The Flash is going to reshape the DC Universe. That is not a surprise. What is a shocker is just how many different iterations of the Caped Crusader are appearing. We have Ben Affleck returning. Zod is back? Also, fucking Michael Keaton? Even after the abandoned Batgirl movie?? There are also previews and tidbits of Supergirl, two different Barry’s and a peak of Christopher Nolan’s motorcycle ride.
Damnit, if this movie didn’t get me a bit hyped. I am really curious as to how this movie is going to shape things for the future. This is James Gunn pilot episode of the rebuilding of the DCU.
The potential massive summer blockbuster The Flash runs into theaters on June 16.
“Scream VI”
I am officially at the point where I have seen too much about Scream VI (2023). This is the third trailer for the movie, and that is one too many. With that being said, I am still excited for a good scare.
Ghost Face will terrorize audiences on March 10 in theaters.
“Transformers: Rise Of The Beasts”
Ladies and gentleman, this is the seventh Transformers movie. The seventh. I have seen all the six before Transformers: Rise Of The Beasts (2023), but do I remember much about them? Absolutely not.
With that being said, this is the perfect at-home action movie for myself. I will watch Rise Of The Beasts while writing something else. I will pay somewhat attention, be dazzled by some of the action sequences and then turn my brain off when the classic human being inside a transforming Autobot scene takes place.
- Transformers (2007): C+
- Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen (2009): D+
- Transformers: Dark Of The Moon (2011): C
- Transformers: Age Of Extinction (2014): F+
- Transformers: The Last Knight (2017): F+
- Bumblebee (2018): B-
Transformers: Rise Of The Beasts vaults into theaters on June 9.
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