Sorry for this recap probably being a little bit late. I am working the Barstool stream right now for the New York Knicks vs. the Miami Heat later today. Please bless my ear drums because I just found out that Frank the Tank is going to be there because he has now sworn his allegiance to the Knicks.

Here is the long but the skinny version. My team may not be very good, and writing these blogs every week is going to be a testament to my truly eccentric, autistic (not diagnosed officially but for sure) brain. Yes, I am going to continue writing about my team and this league despite the Where Did You Verdugo’s riding a season-worst four match losing streak.

And this one was to family.

Michael Kenney gets bragging rights in a close matchup, but alas its still a blemish on my overall schedule. The league is beginning to divide itself into two; those who have what it takes, and those who do not. But teams like Bove are making a push after a slow start.

Have to remind yourself it is a slow season, but optimism is not high in clan Stanko right now.

WEEK FIVE: May 1 – May 7

We begin with hits, and there were a plenty in this contest. Lots of hits all around the league really. I was able to swing this category in my favor due in large part to a huge week from Ozzie Albies who went 13-for-35 with two home runs. Also having a double-digit hit week was Paul Goldschmidt who erupted on Sunday with three homes against the Detroit Tigers. Mike didn’t have anyone with 10+ hits, but Rafael Devers broke out of his slump with nine hits. He tied Cody Bellinger for the best of TEAM LPK.

What Kenney didn’t have in hits he made up for in runs. Will Smith scored five times for Kenney, and he was outdone by Bellinger and Ronald Acuna Jr. who combined for 13 runs scored. Anyone who had 10 or more at-bats in Kenney’s line-up scored a run. Alex Verdugo and Goldschmidt scored five runs each, and Albies scored four runs to try and keep pace with his teammate. The shocking one is Juan Soto who had seven hits, five walks and didn’t score once for the San Diego Padres.

I have one man and one man only to thank this week. Monsignor Goldschmidt hit three home runs on Sunday to make my total among the top half of the league. Albies contributed two home runs, and then I had one-homer weeks from six other contributors. It begs the question; would you rather have all your bombs from like two folks, or spread out across your roster? Much like Michael in his high school baseball career, his team is not built to go yard. Acuna Jr. had a pair of home runs, and then four people contributed a single pop.

Probably the most comfortable I have been in this category thus far this year? I had four players get six RBIs or more, including my high draft picks Soto and Goldschmidt. The sneaky players were my catcher Elias Diaz and all-purpose man Cedric Mullins who each had seven RBI. Mullins is a damn good baseball player. Devers had seven RBI for Mike, but I can’t hate that because that means that the Red Sox are doing well. Acuna Jr. also have seven, and he is currently the favorite to win the NL MVP (I know it’s early but I work at a gambling company).

Who knew that Cody Bellinger was a base stealing threat? I didn’t know that. Maybe I am just stupid and haven’t known for his entire career. Five stolen bases for the former Los Angeles Dodger outfielder and that would have been nearly enough to beat me. I had six as a team with Verdugo leading his namesake team with a pair. Kenney is yet to lose the stealing category this season.

The one base percentage got a tad bit dicy on Sunday, but it evened out for the author’s favor. If I am getting .444 on base percentage from Taylor Ward then things are going okay for me. I can not complain. He led me team, tying with Diaz. Some odd ducks setting the example but I like it. Mike got fucked because he had three players with 15+ plate appearances that had a .261 OBP or less; Xander Bogaerts (.261), George Springers (.233) and Brandon Lowe (.059).

FUCK. I was watching this like a hawk over the weekend trying to catch up on the strikeouts. I even tried picking up a Brady Singer from Kansas City for a Sunday start to get me six Ks to at least tie the category. He only ended up getting me four and made my team ERA even more dreadful than it already was. Mike takes this category by two, and I will touch on it later, but Kenney should be thanking a certain NL West team for this category victory.

It does not take a rocket scientist to see that my pitchers did not fair well this week. One win from my squad. Thank you Lance Lynn and your 5.40 ERA over 6.2 innings. Even my pitchers that had quality starts didn’t get wins. All four wins for Mike came from pitchers who had a 1.29 ERA or less in their appearances. That is tough to beat any day of the week.

While Kenney as Steals on lockdown, he has surrendered the saves category. At least for now. I mentioned last week how I am happy with my reliever slots, and that is bolstered again this week. Camilo Doval tossed 3.2 scoreless innings for the Giants and had four saves on his own. Jose Alvarado didn’t do so hot for the Phillies allowing two earned runs in two innings. He had a blown save. Clay Holmes tossed 1.1 innings for Mike before he dropped him. Raisel Iglesias had a save on May 6th…but wasn’t in Kenney’s lineup.

Yikes. Wowza. Detestable. My worst ERA performance of the year. 5.870 is atrocious and I should be sent down to the minor leagues. Kevin Gausman had thrown 14.0 scoreless innings with a combined 24 strikeouts before his last outing. Against the Red Sox on May 4th he had his worst outing of the year with eight earned runs in 3.1 innings. Throw me into the river. Meanwhile Kenney had a team early of nearly four or over in three of his first four matchups, but this week a season-best 2.682 carries him to a category win. Julio Urias and Drew Smyly went 14 innings and allowed two earned runs combined. Zach Efflin also through seven shutout innings for Tampa Bay.

With an ERA near six, I knew I had zero shot in the WHIP category. No way, because Jose Urias and others were awesome for Mike. Each of use only one pitcher had a WHIP higher than three; Holmes of the New York Yankees had a 3.75 WHIP for Mike and Guasmad had 3.30 in his 3.1 innings against Boston. For myself though, I only had one pitcher below one WHIP in Doval. Meanwhile Kenney had three starting pitchers with a WHIP under 0.86; Justin Steele (0.86), Smyly (0.86) and Urias (0.29).

The MVP for sir Michael Kenney is the Dodgers pitching staff. Literally last Monday we had this conversations.

Urias then went seven innings allowing only one earned run and he struck out ten. Then Kershaw, who was lights out recently, had a rough outing but still managed to strike out seven in less than five innings.

The LVP for Kenney this week is Brandon Lowe of the Tampa Bay Rays. He really hit a low point this season going just 1 for 17 over the course of the week. He had an 0.059 OBP, one run scored and two RBIs. He didn’t even walk once.

We have our first two-time MVP winner for me. Paul Goldschmidt made sure I had nothing to worry about hitting wise on Sunday because he blasted three home runs and ended the week with six runs batted in and five runs scored. If I want to be greedy, I could say I was expecting more with three home runs in one game, but I am not that guy.

My Least Valuable Player this week goes to Kevin Gausman. He went against my Boston Red Sox and STUNK, allowing eight earned runs in 3.1 innings and striking out only four. Compared to the rest of the year, this was agregious. It set the tone for the rest of the staff for the week. Also a couple more strikeouts from one of the best pitchers in baseball would have been helpful. But the Red Sox did win. It puts me in a pickle.

MVP TRACKER: Goldschmidt (2), Mullins (2), Verdugo (1)
LVP TRACKER: Casas (1), Gausman (1), Soto (1), Sale (1), St. Louis Cardinals (1)


  • Michael Kenney takes bragging rights this time around in a close match. Literally as close as you can get without being dead locked. I was in a pinch on Sunday with no starters left and in need of two strikeouts. That did not happen. At one point our OBP was with two thousands of each other on Sunday, but the last three innings of Sunday Night Baseball went our way.
  • Mike DeMaio wins his second straight and takes down the previously undefeated Vaghi in rather convincing fashion. Both DeMaio and Vaghi struggled in the wins and saves department, but Mike still took both of those. Just a bonkers day on Sunday for both of these guys; each of these guys had 12 runs scored for their teams. For references, List and Huntley had 29 for the whole week.
  • The biggest blowout of the week goes to Eric handling Michaud. For Michaud’s team to flow, he needs to win the hitting categories, but Eric stonewalled him this week. Eric had the most home runs and the most RBI this week. Eric must have been doing jumping up and down on Sunday. He had one more strikeout than Michaud on the last day to win that category, and Bryce Miller earned a dub to tie the wins category.
  • Don’t let Bove get hot. The winner of two in a row, Bove takes down Huntley 7-4-0. Huntley got very fortunate the Bove’s pitching staff is made up of U12 little leaguers, but them the brakes. Bove maybe sweat a little bit on Sunday in regards to steals and hits. Huntley couldn’t take advantage of Bove’s poor Sunday performance; Hunt had only five hits in 35 at-bats.
  • Deadlocked. Jack List and Billy Drakeley pull the European soccer model. Each had starters going on Saturday, but only List’s pitcher (Cal Quantrill) got the win so they tied 3-3 in that category. Billy really could have used a save, but his relievers went a total of 2.2 innings and allowed five earned runs. The clutch performance came from James Outman, who had two RBI in Sunday Night baseball to lift Billy up by one in the category to secure the tie.


  • I have added in a new portion on the bottom that shows the record for everyone in respective categories.
    • Just some interesting notes
      • Kenney is undefeated in steals.
      • Eric has not won any matchup for on base percentage.
    • This is going to be cool near the end of the year to see who punted certain categories on the year.
  • The top three performers in On Base Percentage all lost their matches: Michaud, Stanko and Vaghi.
  • Michaud was top-half performer in 10 of the 11 categories but still lost this week, 2-8-1 to Eric.
    • Eric has top three in eight of the 11 categories.
  • Bove set a new worst in Earned Run Average this week with 6.085 and WHIP 1.542.


  • Jack is looking to stay red hot and take over first place as I am trying desperately to stop my losing skid.
    • According to the stats thus far this season, Jack is going to throttle me, 8-2-1.
  • Michaud and Vaghi are both licking their wounds after losing eight categories each last week.
    • According to the stats thus far this season, Michaud should win this one, 6-5. I’ll admit it, this one surprised me.
  • A great matchup here. Outstanding. DeMaio and Kenney are both on winning streaks and have offensive fire power to go against one another.
    • According to the stats thus far this season, DeMaio is going to win his fourth straight, 8-3. Again, this one took me by surprise.
  • Huntley fell off the wagon in week five and Eric took his spot on it. Now they go head-to-head this week.
    • According to the stats thus far this season, Eric is going to take down Andrew, 8-2-1
  • Last matchup of the week is the churning Bove, winner of two straight, against Drakelely, who has been in the middle for the majority of the season.
    • According to the season stats, Bove is going to eke out a third straight win, 6-4-1. Keep an eye on the hitting categories; both teams don’t smack the ball around too much so it is whoever is hotter.


  • Bove moved up three sports and now sits in seventh place. Bove pushed down Huntley and Michaud who now sit in ninth and 10th, respectively.
    • I remained in eighth place. but shrunk my margin from first place to 9.5 games.
  • There is zero movement in the standings from sixth place to to first place.
    • Vaghi lost his first matchup of the year so now he is only 1.5 games ahead of Jack List.
    • Kenney is in third place trailing Vaghi by 2.5 games.
    • The last playoff team is still DiMaio but he picked up five games on first place.
  • There really is a massive split between the top half and the bottom half. Thus far the Corona League is the haves versus the have nots.
  • Nothing changes in terms of the projected playoff bracket. The only thing to keep in mind is that DiMaio is the only one to take down Vaghi, so does he have the mental edge if the playoffs started today?

  • DiMaio – Hits, Runs, WHIP (3)
  • Michaud – Home Runs, On Base Percentage, Runs Batted In (3)
  • Eric – Strikeouts, Wins (2)
  • Kenney – Stolen Bases (1)
  • List – Saves (1)
  • Vaghi – ERA (1)

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