THE START There is a ton of girl power energy to start off episode two. There are plenty of happy people posing for shots looking over porches, in tubs, and […]
THE START
There is a ton of girl power energy to start off episode two. There are plenty of happy people posing for shots looking over porches, in tubs, and laying on couches. Everyone is happy to be there, and everyone is happy to see Jesse Palmer deliver some good news. Every single women is going to get to go on a date this week, whether it be one of the two group dates, or the one-on-one date.
Also, Jesse Palmer gets a lower third now that tells us his age is 44? I want to look that good when I am 44. If I am like that, then i may have found the fountain of youth. I do appreciate that the editors of the show continue with the lower thirds for the first few episodes because god knows that there are too many names to remember in one sitting.
One thing from this opening segment that was rather cringe (more so than usually) was Zach’s shower sequence. I didn’t love that. Direct callback to Sean Lowe in episode one. I am sorry, but that was a bit too over-the-top.
GROUP DATE NUMBER ONE: LATTO & BAD BITCHES
Every single women on this date wore white washed jeans. Literally, every, single, one. I guess that is in season.
So Latto is here. And I guess that she is a big deal? She is up for Best New Artist at this year’s Grammy awards. I personally have zero idea who she is. Neither did my fiancee. However, all of these women on this date knew. Because of course they did.
Zach came out of the door with a Patrick Swayze Johnny Castle vibes…that black leather looked a lot better on Swayze than it did on Zach. But the girls ate up Zach in the leather.
I genuinely do not think that Zach Cross wants a bad bitch. I do not think so at all.
I love how Zach admits that he is a terrible dancer. Good job by the producers and editors. Have to include that self awareness.
Alright, before we get to everything, we have to have the emergence of Tahzjuan, Victoria F. and Courtney. Tahzjuan is the crazy one from Bachelor in Paradise, Victoria F. is the hot one who is not dating Greg, and Courtney is the one who had sex in the ocean.
In terms of bad bitch energy, I just don’t think Tahzjuan measure up with the rest. Victoria told the world to fuck off in the BIP finale, and Courtney did one of the craziest things ever in Bachelor history.
So Latto challenges the women to show off their inner “baddie” self
So all of these women get to choose form different props, some outfits, and whatever. This is now turned into a bit of talent show to show off your personality. This is my worst nightmare.
There are very few of these presentations that stand out in my memory.
Brianna and Kylee stand out because they were confident strutting. Cat walked…or actually crawled out and that is bad. Bailey came out in pink hair. Whoever it was that come out first got ohh-and-ahhs from literally everyone.
Latto asks the women to speak about a moment they were a Bad Bitch. Zach clarifies it by saying something that the women should talk about a moment where they were themselves or stood up for themselves.
I saw some people were pissed that Zach “mansplained” what being a “Bad Bitch” was. What the fuck? He was just clarifying making it easier. That is just people just trying to hate on Zach. That is just not fair.
This is the first moment of the episode where Brooklyn took the lead with Zach; she asks him for a Tequila shot and then she kisses him.
There was no winner of this bad bitch competition. Is this a new trend?
We get to the cocktail party. Katherine assures Zach that she is not just a friend, then they make out hard. Then there is Brianna who wants to be validated.
I thought this was the beginning of the downhill of Brianna this episode. She cries and wants to be validated. Zach does his job and makes her feel welcome. I am kinda bypassing this to get to the worst part of the episode.
Okay, this whole Tazjuan situation is the fucking worst. I fucking every single minute of this.
For one, I do not consider her in the class of Victoria or Courtney; both of them have much of an impact on my brain and life than Taz…and I didn’t watch the Bachelor season Courtney was on.
There is little to zero percent chance that she had any interest in Zach.
This whole entire thing was so over produced. It was painful. It was all cringe worthy.
She comes in and interrupts Cat, which was strategic because it wouldn’t hurt anyone who actually had a chance.
We did not even see Zach and her talk! We did not even see Zach say no to her! What the fuck?? You put us through all of this shit and we don’t even get to see her get shut down??
Zach comes back and gets to play the good guy saying that he sent home the bad girl who was trying to stir the pot.
Those goodbye tears from Taz were not real at all. And she is complaining about not finding a man? Well if this is all real, then you are just a terrible person.
Honestly, I was having a really good time watching the show until this 20 minute stretch. Gross. Gross. It was like the Hot Dog hands in Everything Everywhere All At Once, just an immediate turn off for me.
The “Bad bitches” don’t cry thing was brutal as well
I was a bit shocked that Katherine got the first group date rose. She had a good conversation, but was it that shocking? I thought it was going to go to Brianna or Jess.
Before we get the Christina and Zach’s one-on-one date, we have to talk about the kissing conversation.
Katherine is worried she used too much tongue with Zach, and Gabi has the great response of “Knock it off, you got the rose.” And that is coming from the person who is swimming in her own head more than others.
On the other end Jess doesn’t use tongue a lot in kisses. That is more my speed, but the fact that most people didn’t agree with Jess is crazy town. Bonkers, zany town.
ONE-ON-ONE DATE: CHRISTINA & ZACH
Now we head to Christina Mandrell, who despite me hating for her full name status, is actually winning me over. She has this one-on-one with Zach, and damn if it isn’t fucking adorable.
Christina has one thing that she needs to tell Zach, and that is that she is a mom to a five year old daughter. Kind of a big deal. What will happen…when will she bring it up?
Christina and Zach share a ride in a Bronco (good job to whoever paid for this product placement because it is stuck in my head) and they share some music interests. They both love Nickelback. I am sure that will get some hate, but.I do not care.
Now Christina and Zach get into a Helicopter. The brand of the helicopter is blurred out, and that seems like an oversight.
The absolute CLASSIC fly over the mansion to make all the other girls jealous.
Where is this helicopter going. To Zach’s family house, of course!
I think that this deal is good for Christina. She has absolutely zero time to freak out about meeting his family. I think that she just dives into the deep and has no chance to be anyone but herself. Her charming, southern self.
This whole party is for Zach’s mom’s birthday, which we learn later in the episode from a conversation is actually a really bonded connection because Zach almost died as a baby. Yikes.
I do love how Zach and Christina are not with each other during the filmed portions of this date. Christina is talking with cousins, Zach is hanging out with his mom. This is all very normal couple vibes.
Also Zach’s family embracing the awkwardness of the scenario is totally on point.
We get to see a TRULY embarrassing photo of Zach in a hideously RENO 911 vibes costumed. It is hilarious. I want to know where this is from. My guess is some sort of outdoor California Halloween party.
Alright, let’s get to the dinner portion.
Christina jumps right into it. She has a daughter, she is five, and she her world.
Zach takes this…the best way possible? I mean, did this dude take lessons on how to handle the biggest moments?
Alright, let’s also talk about how Blakely is a terrible name. I am sorry, but that is a no from me.
Zach is brutally honest about not being ready to be a dad right now and how it scares him, the whole entire idea of it. This is so fucking refreshing from someone just being really excited about the idea, or someone just freaking out big time. Zach had a middle ground; he had a realistic middle ground.
Zach has this moment giving a testimonial where he states that he fears that he will have to be selfish. This makes the audience, and me, think that he is going to send Christina home. but that is just a swerve.
Zach gives Christina the rose, which she gladly accepts. She also accepts the fact that Zach has a lot to think about now, and the way he handled it was the best way he could for what she was asking of him. Christina, also taking this like a pro?
What a fucking great one-on-done date.
GROUP DATE NUMBER TWO: WAS THERE EVEN AN ACTIVITY?
WHAT THE FUCK?? WHERE IS THE ACTIVITY?? You gave us 20 minutes of Taz being a devil and causing unnecessary drama but we don’t get this horrible group date? I want to see what was so bad that the show didn’t want to show anyone. That is actually really. That is not fake producer stuff. Taz was fake drama. This made me so fucking annoying.
So at this cocktail party, we have the lesser known women all in attendance, well except for Greer. She is good though.
Ariel gets to talk to Zach first, and she makes a damn good first impression. This women is terrifying, and she wants to show Zach how she can be more sensitive. They talk about their biggest fears and the whole broken heart thing comes up. Classic. What is a good move is when she wrote down that she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to kiss him…and Zach takes care of that problem, pronto.
I really think that Ariel is going to make it far.
Zach kisses a fuck ton of people in this group date. I mean he kisses everyone, and Emma and I looked to see if all of them had tongue.
One of the few to not get a kiss was Gabi…and honestly it makes a fuck ton of sense.
Her conversation was really bad with Zach. it was forced. It was harsh. The nicknames are…really bad. “Zacharius? Zachy? Zachy-poo? Zachary” I mean come one. I know this is all coming from nerves, but one has to do better than that. This is classic word vomit. This is classic rambling. I get it.
Jess gets the group date rose because she she got Zach to share a lot about his relationship with his mom and how he was diagnosed with a disease that greatly hindered his chance to live. If Jess can get that out of him, then she must be doing something right.
I also think that Jess can go far, but I think that Jess is also a Beta in a relationship. Both Zach and her like to be led in a relationship a bit, and will one of them be able to take the reigns?
COCKTAIL PARTY & ROSE CEREMONY
Zach is a fucking moron at the rose ceremony cocktail hour…but maybe he is also a genius. He tells the group that Christina got to meet his family, not not everyone knew that. It would appear that most didn’t. Or maybe no one did. Brianna is particularly taken aback,
I think this is kind of a good thing rather that Christa lauding it over people and maybe holding a secret for ammo. Now it is out there. But not everyone is happy about it.
This does put a target on Christina’s back. No doubt about it…and Brianna is taking aim at it.
Brianna is a menace. I very beautiful menace. She SUDDENLY is offended by an off hand joke that Christina made night one about how gorgeous her dress was. Christina said “I Hate You” just because she was jealous. This was a thing a guy would do, and I loved it.
I do love the idea of an Instant Replay from the editors. Should do more of these.
Brianna takes Christina to have a sit down. The hash it out and Christina apologizes for hurting her feelings. Brianna doesn’t like that Christina doesn’t remember the remark…but guess what…I believe Christina. How the hell can you remember everything from a night when you met like 30+ people.
So Brianna sits down with Zach and asks if he wants any drama…and he is like UH NO THANK YOU!. He politely stands on the point that if it has been handled already by Brianna and the person, then it does not need to involved him. This is a very nuanced thing, and I fucking love it. Also credit has to be given to Brianna for not forcing the issue. The each do the right thing.
Gabi gets a chance to talk with Zach again and it goes much much better. They kiss, and her sprits are up. She is riding high on maple syrup.
Come the actual rose ceremony…there are literally zero surprises. The people we know very little about left, and Brianna was the last one to get a rose because there needs to be some drama.
(MY) POWER RANKINGS
No. 17 Brianna
(Last Week No. 1)
What she did with Christina at the end of the episode really, reallllyyy rubbed me the wrong way.
No. 16 Davia
(Last Week No. 14)
Did she do anything this episode?
No. 15 Kylee
(Last Week No. 15)
She looks really pretty, but she did not take not getting the attention well.
No. 14 Aly
(Last Week No. 19)
Aly is adorable…I am starting to like her more and more.
No. 13 Katherine
(Last Week No. 16)
A lot of people like Katherine more and I know.
No. 12 Mercedes
(Last Week No. 18)
Mercedes has the most positive energy in the entire house.
No. 11 Anastasia
(Last Week No. 10)
Still looks like a Disney princess.
No. 10 Charity
(Last Week No. 8)
I think Charity will make it far, but as of right now she is just riding in the back car.
No. 9 Gabi
(Last Week No. 6)
Gabi is so inside of her own head.
No. 8 Brooklyn
(Last Week No. 9)
Brooklyn is going to give it her best the entire time, but Zach just isn’t gonna take it.
No. 7 Ariel
(Last Week No. 17)
Ariel became even more scary, and more attractive.
No. 6 Bailey
(Last Week No. 3)
Bailey is super-duper attractive, but I don’t get the sense she is very bright.
No. 5 Kaity
(Last Week No. 7)
I think that Kaity is really, really beautiful and hilarious.
No. 4 Jess
(Last Week No. 5)
Jess and Zach are both adorably awkward. But will one take the lead in the relationship.
No. 3 Greer
(Last Week No. 2)
Not a huge week for Greer, but she didn’t do anything wrong either.
No. 2 Genevie
(Last Week No. 12)
Genevie with a HUGE week. Being snappy, funny and self confident.
No. 1 Christina
(Last Week No. 4)
I can not get over how good her one-on-one date conversation was.
“A vacationing family discovers that the secluded beach where they’re relaxing for a few hours is somehow causing them to age rapidly, reducing their entire lives into a single day.” Director: M. Night ShyamalanWriters: M. Night Shyamalan, Pierre-Oscar Lévy, Frederik PeetersStaring: Gael García Bernal, Vicky Krieps, Rufus Sewell, Alex Wolff, Thomasin McKenzie, Abbey Lee, Nikki…
Here is a new project.I am going to embark on. I am going to reflect on various Oscar categories that I complete, regardless of the year. Let me study up a bit more of the movies that were nominated come respective Academy Awards and hopefully get me to remember more of the ancillary cast members…
“A young German soldier’s terrifying experiences and distress on the western front during World War I.” Director: Edward BergerWriters: Edward Berger, Lesley Paterson, Ian StokellStaring: Felix Kammerer, Albrecht Schuch, Aaron HilmerRated: RRelease Date: October 28. 2022IMDB All Quiet On The Western Front (2022) won four Oscars at the 95th Academy Awards; Best International Feature Film,…
Stanko's Stance 