We are a week away from the new season of The Bachelor. Seven days till the chaos is back. I have to say, the break has been nice. A good reset.
Am I excited to watch Zach Shallcross as The Bachelor? If we are in the trust tree…I really am not at all. They picked the most vanilla of the possible candidates.
The Bachelor…for better or for worse
Zach, I really want to like you, but I am really struggling.
He chose to chase after Rachel, and if we are being honest, he was the best fit for her. They both are the princess and princess
The one-on-one date near the end of his time on The Bachelorette where he brought Rachel up to the roof to watch airplanes take off was honestly a stroke of genuis, whether it be his choice or his producer’s.
Zach is going to cry a lot. That is undeniable. We are going to get a ton of tears.
So now let us delve into the craziness that will ensue with this cast of characters on
The Bachelor who will be vying for Zach Shallcross’s heart.
Healthcare Strategist Atlanta, Georgia
Aly has a very kind smile and face. She is very pretty.
Oh she is a Disneyland person. Negative points for me.
And Aly mentions her dog, which is named Texas. That is an odd name.
A proud collector of porcelain dolls…that is creepy.
What is broccolini?
Content Marketing Manager San Diego, California
The fan blower worker was going overtime come Anastasia’s photo shoot.
Anastasia saying that she wants “a mature man who has his life together and knows what he wants” is maybe the best and most rational explanation of what you want.
Who the fuck is Rufus Du Sol?
Will there be a “Big Fat Greek” wedding joke? Absolutely.
A strong connection to Cleopatra? That is weird.
Actually very funny that she is scared about the low-rise skinny jeans thing.
Marketing Executive New York City, NY
Ukrainian family. She is going to get past the first week.
Ariel is a world traveler, so will settling down with Zach be a thing that she wants to do?
Who the fuck is SZA?
Is Architectural Digest have more words or picture in it?
Can totally agree that Abba makes the heart sing.
Executive Recruit Nashville, Tennessee
So Bailey is not on dating apps where she has a choice of men…so she is going onto a show where she only has one man?
Wants to be in the “wellness” world? What kind of wellness?
Bailey wants to be a professional skydiver?? She wants to be the intro to sporting events for work?
A Charlie Brown fan…and I am here to say that I don’t love Charlie Brown.
Bailey is very pretty.
Nursing Student Burbank, California
The opening line of her bio is “Becca is incredible.” – that is weird. That seems like it is forcing it.
A nursing student…so she is taking time out to be on the show?
I like that Becca is looking for a man that she has
“natural chemistry with who isn’t afraid to be goofy sometimes.” – This is like Emma and I, which I like. Becca’s photo looks very photoshopped in the upper right side of her face and hair. Looks like a tough cropping.
I like that Becca admits to being a different person in high school; this is like a good look and a blast in the past.
Entrepreneur Jersey City, New Jersey
If she is owning her own business at 24, then she is doing good things.
Brianna lived in Paris? She has been everywhere and done everything.
She created her own language as a kid? She a mini James Cameron?
Brianna does not do “Netflix and chill” – I feel like that phrase has passed by?
Because she is a boss lady and has command of her own life, I can see Brianna making the move for the first kiss.
Rodeo Racer Stillwater, Oklahoma
A rodeo racer named Brooklyn? That is kinda a crazy name to job connection.
So Brooklyn is a horse girl, and people have stereotypes about them…including myself. I only knew one growing up. Desiree. She was in my third grade class.
Ohhh so wait, Brooklyn wants to be a rodeo racer, but she is actually a lab designer for life-chancing dental procedures.
What does it mean when Brooklyn
“hasn’t had the easiest path when it comes to her relationship history?” I also agree that teleporting would be an awesome ability.
Corporate Recruiter Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Cara has that stunningly beautiful look about her.
Unfortunately, Cara’s bio is a little…bland?
Cara hates seeing garbage on the sidewalk? She lives in a city… so that is a tough sell. And she would HATE New York City.
Hahaha, I love that
“Cara is not a good cook, but she is great at “assembling meals.”
Dancer New York, New YOrk
Cat…looks like a Cat.
What type of dance does Cat do?
Oh she is literally laying out her ideal one-on-one in terms of cheese and crackers in the park. Take notes Zach.
Why doesn’t Cat do dinner dates? Those are the most popular dates. Does she know that all the one-on-one dates and stuff end with a dinner…at night?
She was a sailer instructor in high school. So she comes from a bit of money…
Child and Family Therapist Columbus, Georgia
A child and family therapist is maybe one of the best and most wholesome jobs you can have?
Charity looks to be wearing something pretty elegant in her photo.
So she is a mental health therapist. She can talk through problems with someone on the show. She can be a valuable asset, if she sticks around.
Gosh darn-it, she was really good till she said she wants to MOVE to Walt Disney World.
All-time favorite movie is “The Notebook” – surprised a little bit for someone who is 26.
Charity throws a mean axe…that would be fun to see.
Content Creator Nashville, Tennessee
This is when I am going to be my judgiest.
Why the fuck does Christina Mandrell get her full name. Is it because she is a content creator? Are they just leaning into the whole bit now?
Christina looks like she was designed in an AI program for Tik Tok relevancy.
Christina has a child. Didn’t see that coming.
Favorite sport is CrossFit. That raises a debate as to what is a sport.
Marketing Manager Charleston, South Carolina
Okay. One needs to say it. Her eyes are very far apart. I am sorry, but she is reminding me of the creature from Splice.
This is the first musical reference I get from these bios; Lizzo, I got one.
The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo is a book I have never heard of. She is ready for marriage and she wants it soon…does she just want to be engaged? This will be the question.
I love Davia’s fun facts. The love for Taylor Swift is right up my alley, and her willingness to say she is a great burper is great behind-the-scenes fun. Will that be a post credit scene?
Account Executive Pittsford, Vermont
Not often you get someone from Vermont! I am rooting for Gabi. We have had a good run of Gabi’s (Gabby, etc.) on the show.
Is Zach an outdoorsy man? Ghat is what Gabi wants. Is that something that is attainable?
Oh, so Gabi wants to get married in Italy? She already has all of that planned out? That is an automatic turn off for me before dating if that is the case.
Gabi is a fan of the Kardashians and has a favorite, so negative points.
I do do enjoy the love of tale gating, but you need to get into the game before it starts. That is the rule.
Neonatal Nurse Baltimore City, Baltimore
Another nurse. Just like Gabby. She wants to be a CEO of a hospital one day, which is a very lofty goal. Don’t turn into the executives who hide serial killers. I just watched
The Good Nurse so it is stuck in my head. Who is Colleen Hoover and what books does she write?
What sports does she play??
Ugh, A Baltimore Ravens fan. Darnit. Negative points. But she is wearing people
Genevie is incredibly pretty.
Medical Sales Rep Houston, Texas
Greer is my type. Big eyes, brown hair and a cute smile. Damnit.
Greer is also incredibly young, so this is not going to go well. She likes to speak her mind, but she doesn’t know all the consequences yet.
A sucker for forehead kisses. Zach really seems like the type for this, so that’s a good match.
Okay, what can you tell from someone’s sushi order?
Greer says she is never embarrassed, but this is national TV. Something is going to happen.
Insurance Marketer Boca Raton, Florida
Holland has a huge smile and a very unique name.
“Unwavering commitment” – does this mean she will get upset when Zach has to show interest in other women? For sure, absolutely.
Wine and sushi are favorite foods; I can understand liking them but not being obsessed.
She mentions being on the beach and Florida and loving her beach time; would she be willing to switch coasts?
I don’t agree with any of Holland’s fun facts
I never really want to go yachting
I can living without air conditoning
Her favorite show is “The Bachelor” – soooo we are just being blatant about this now?
E-Commerce Coordinator Winter Springs, Florida
23 years old??? You are a child! A child!!
The address her age in the first sentence of her bio and say that she is mature. This will most definitely be put to the test haha.
She wants a romance like a Taylor Swift song. She must mean early Taylor Swift because recent albums have not highlighted song like those.
It sounds like Jess came on the show for Zach, so she does have that going for her I guess.
How is petting puppies a dating activity?
JESS LOVES BANANAGRAMS. WE ARE ALL IN ON JESS. EVERYTHING IS BACK ON TRACK.
ER Nurse Austin, Texas
So Nurse is a thing now on Bachelor nation?
Hmmm, a Canadian.
They actually directly quoted her in her bio. That is a big shocking. I frankly wish that they would do that more:
“I truly hope to find love. I have so much love to give to the right man.” Luckily for Kaity, I think Zach wants a big family. I am not going to look it up, but I vaguely remember that.
Kaity isn’t afraid of sliding into the DMs…did she do that with Zach already?
Has Kaity been to Cedar Point if she is such a big roller coaster fan.
Registered Nurse Tampa, Florida
Katherine has Disney villain hair. Voluptuous and loud.
I do love how Katherine wants a good communicator as a partner. That is important. That is actually smart.
I will give Katherine credit. What she wants in a man all seems to make sense.
Katherine’s nose in the picture is a little bit bigger that Julia Roberts.
I get the glamping instead of camping. I get that.
Katherine’s bio is boring, whichmeans she may be normal.
Hospitality Manager Los Angeles, California
Holy defined cheek bones Batman. She is a model in her free time.
Six years is a very long time for a relationship to not work. Genuinely hope she is okay after that.
Is there such thing as the perfect partner? I just don’t know.
I can get behind the picnic dinner date, but I don’t like the beach. That is sand in the food.
She admits to having been in love before, so she should not be one to rush into it.
Drinking win in PJs…that is something my fiance can get behind.
What quantifies as old school hip-hop? I am same age as Kimberly so I am curious.
Postpartum Nurse Charlotte, North Carolina
ANOTHER NURSE. JESUS CHRIST IS SOMEONE GOING TO DIE THIS SEASON?
Kylee is also an NBA dancer. Living in North Carolina, it has to be for the Charlotte Hornets. Not a very good NBA team, but damn.
Oh, she wants a baby of her own ASAP. Makes sense with the job. Just a lot of pressure for Zach.
So Kylee wants the soccer mom life. I wish I could be a stay-at-home dad, I think.
Kylee falls in love hard and fast. She seems to want all things at once.
What the fuck is Olaplex oil?
Kylee’s celebrity crush is Jimmy Garoppolo. No shit. He is hot as fuck.
Financial Advisor Miami, Florida
Damn she has living everywhere. India, California, North Carolina, New York, and Florida.
Lekha is a belly dancer. Need her belly dancing skills against those at are NBA dancer or dancer studier.
It is a very interesting dynamic that her parent’s family was arranged and Lekha is kinda doing the exact opposite.
Does Zach have abs since that is her biggest turn on?
I do NOT ever EVER want to go to Stagecoach.
Business Owner Fargo, North Dakota
From Fargo, Minnesota…so we are going to need some talk on her accent. It is going oto happen.
Her younger sisters are part of her relationship? How much younger are they? Is there a gap? Also they will for sure be at hometowns then if Madison gets there.
Zach is for sure an empathetic person, so Madison has that going for her.
A presidential scholar?? That is no easy task.
Madison dislikes all sauces…so like tomato sauce on pasta?
Pausing time is a good super power too. We have that and teleporting.
Non-Profit Case Manager Bloomfield, Iowa
So…Mercedes may be a long lost sibling of Serena? We call kinda see it, right?
Has four jobs?? And she is coming on the show? She can do that? Will she have those jobs when she gets back??
So Mercedes needs her mom’s approval. That won’t come up in hometowns at all. And it is important because I guess she does family dinners every Sunday.
What exactly does showing pigs mean?
I guess the driving with windows down and blasting music is okay. it is better than wanting to order in instead of cooking.
Patient Care Technician Rochester, New York
Olivia L. looks like someone that went to college the same time I did. To Brittany who is now a veterinarian, Olivia L. looks like you.
Oh, a basketball player. From Rochester, NY. Did she stay local to play basketball?
Another healthcare worker. So many.
She has been to every state in the US? That is impressive. Wonder how much travel came basketball games, tournaments, etc.
I love how Olivia credits
Grey’s Anatomy for her inspiration to get into medicine. The show that is the most unlike any actual hospital.
Stylist Cincinnati, OHio
Huge eyes. Tractor beam eyes.
Will she be designing her own dresses that she wears on the show? That would be cool.
I agree with the cuddling up on the couch part. That is pretty much a nightly occorance for Emma and I.
She color codes her book shelf? That is a very unique way of doing that.
Olivia loves carbs. As does everyone. Respect.
Project Manager Long Island, New YOrk
Sonia looks way younger than 29 years old in this photo.
A Long Island Girl. We are going to get her being sassy with someone. Also she is close to her family. This is all true for Long Island girl. It’s not a bad thing by any means, just the way of life.
She has had serious relationships before, so does mean she will be sucked into this new world or will she struggle to see it for what it is?
Sonia never says no to a game of “truth or dare”, so who is going to ask to play…her or Zach?
Sonia loves Elvis, so what did she think of the new movie? Was she allowed to see it?
Restaurant Marketer Baton Rouge, Louisiana
23 year old…another baby.
Second person among these contestants to list out Kardashian in their bio. Vanessa wants to be like Kris Jenner.
Vanessa considers herself a foodie, so will she actually eat the food if she goes on a one-on-one work.
Why is it that Vanessa played so much freeze tag? That is a very random fun fact. I like that.
Makeup Artist Fort Worth, Texas
Victoria J. looks terrifying. But I like it.
A professional makeup artists can be a very solid profession if you have consistent gigs.
Her bio is pretty bland with nothing too crazy. Loving parents. Wants a mature man. Kinda same-old, same-old.
Oh a degree in dance performance? Will she dance off with Kylee?
I DON’T UNDERSTAND THE HYPE AROUND PETE DAVIDSON EITHER!
Are there cool cute ski outfits? I have only seen those in like bound movies.
Nanny Vienna, Austria
An Austrian. Interesting. A unique looking women for sure.
She moved to the US by herself and lives in NYC. I wouldn’t voluntarily move to NYC with someone, so good for Viktoria.
Another contestant who mentions having kids of her own. That seems to be a theme this season.
She wants to go to Hawaii someday. Perhaps The Bachelor will send everyone there?
Don’t discriminate against blue tortilla chips!
The Bachelor premieres Monday, January 23rd on ABC.
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January 16, 2023 By jstanko99
Bachelor Universe Posted in Bachelor Universe, Television Tagged # ABC, Aly, Anastasia, Ariel, Bachelor, Bailey, Becca, Brianna, Brooklyn, Cara, Cat, Charity, Christina, Christina Mandrell, Davia, Gabi, Genevie, Greer, Holland, Jess, Kaity, Katherine, Kimberly, Kylee, Lekha, Madison, Mercedes, Olivia, Olivia L., Olivia M., Sonia, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Vanessa, Victoria J., Viktoria E., Zach Shallcross
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