QUICK THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE

  • Here is where I would have stream-of-consciousness word vomit, but alas, my time and energy levels do not permit me to rabble with the same aggression my former posts of this ilk would demand. I will still do my power rankings of all the remaining contestants, for that tradition shall not die.

(MY) POWER RANKINGS

No. 18
Austin

(Last Week N/A)

I remember nothing about Austin. But he made it. But I remember nothing. Looking at his photo, I guess he is kinda attractive. But if I can’t remember a single thing you did…sorry, that’ll affect your ranking.

No. 17
Marvin

(Last Week N/A)

Spoke French…but is that all we got?

No. 16
Brian

(Last Week N/A)

Everything Brian did during the episode irked me. His interruption of Jenn and Jeremy was beyond cringy and so forced. Just a scumbag move, and he is so loud and everything I hate. With that being said, he will probably be good for the show.

No. 15
Jeremy

(Last Week N/A)

Jeremy got fucked over by Brain, but that doesn’t give Jeremy a free pass. Cars do nothing for me, and Jeremy carries himself with a “I am better than you” attitude. He will burn bright and short for a short rivalry.

No. 14
Sam N.

(Last Week N/A)

Love Virgin. Really hate this gimmick. Pretty sure he got last rose and bleh. Also, his eyelash thing is just not for me, but Jenn noticed and that’s a confidence boost for him.

No. 13
Spencer

(Last Week N/A)

“Pet Portrait Entrepreneur” – at least we know what he is entrepreneuring in…but those who know me know that this is not something that is going to tickle my funny bone. He also looks like knock-off Taylor Lautner.

No. 12
John

(Last Week N/A)

Another medical student, brings a pedestal as a prop. And you know what, I didn’t hate it.

No. 11
Dylan

(Last Week N/A)

The medical student trend continues. Stethoscope is only prop. But seemed like he and Jenn kinda hit it off more than I thought they would. Big ass smile helps his karma.

No. 10
Aaron

(Last Week N/A)

Don’t love how he mentioned Noah off the bat? But I guess you gotta lay the groundwork that you know this process works. But Aaron has been married before, which is a first for this group I think.

No. 9
Jonathon

(Last Week N/A)

He really stuck to the gimmick for a long time. Was his ass really showing? Nice touch it was blurred out with a rose instead of a black bar. He is attractive underneath the wrapping. But still it was cringe but I think Jenn liked it?

No. 8
Hakeem

(Last Week N/A)

The balloons was a lot. He obviously got trapped, but when they all started popping in the tree (I think post credit scene), that was comedy. Hakeem is also the front-runner for best reaction faces. Like when Moze said he had ghosted people before. The new Justin Glaze.

No. 7
Devin

(Last Week N/A)

This is a gut feeling, but Devin is going to be good for the show. He is really loud. Also Emma called the Pete Davidson vibe before it was mentioned on the show so she felt like a genius.

No. 6
Tomas A.

(Last Week N/A)

Cheated with the puppies. But Jenn loved so that’s all that matters. He looks like a magician.

No. 5
Grant

(Last Week N/A)

Hate the beatboxing. Hate it. But Grant played basketball at Iona and we saw the old Hynes Center in his video package. Yes, I am bias.

No. 4
Thomas N.

(Last Week N/A)

He actually has a real job as a retirement advisor. Major bonus points. Also a good punny entrance. I mean this in the nicest way, but Thomas N. may be too “cute” to go far. But I will enjoy him while he is here.

No. 3
Jahaan

(Last Week N/A)

Throwing some chips in Jahaan’s pot. He has one successful career already. He is confident in himself but not too cocky. He is good looking but not in a oppressive way. We didn’t get a ton of time with him, but still he left an impression.

No. 2
Marcus

(Last Week N/A)

First out of limo, army ranger, well put together, no tie. Didn’t see much after the introduction, but his video package brought the tears and made sure we remember who he is.

No. 1
Sam M.

(Last Week N/A)

First impression rose. Dude is by far the hottest guy there on looks. Had classy kiss on cheek after first talk. Then PASSIONATE make out. Easy early front runner.

The Bachelorette airs on Monday nights on ABC, beginning at 8 PM EST.

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