Stanko's Stance

“A troubled security guard begins working at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza. During his first night on the job, he realizes that the night shift won’t be so easy to get through. Pretty soon he will unveil what actually happened at Freddy’s.”

Director: Emma Tammi
Writers: Scott Cawthon, Seth Cuddeback, Emma Tammi
Starring: Josh Hutcherson, Piper Rubio, Elizabeth Lail, Matthew Lillard
Release Date: October 27, 2023
IMDB

Do you remember when you were a child and you wanted to watch a horror movie but your parents wouldn’t allow you to? Adults, do you remember when you children would beg to watch something they shouldn’t and you had to swat away all attempts?

Peacock now presents Five Nights At Freddy’s, the perfect PG-13 “horror” movie to appease the hungry youth and desperate parents.

The film Five Nights At Freddy’s is based on a video game series created by Scott Cawthon in August of 2014. The main series has nine video games that all have links to the family pizza restaurant “Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza.” Much of the media follows the same premise; the player of the video game takes on the role of a late-night employee at some establishment and then must survive the bombardment of animatronic animals who crave violence.

Director Emma Tammi makes Five Nights At Freddy’s with the same basic throughline as the videos. Taking place in the year 2000, Mike (Josh Hutcherson) is a struggling young adult who is attempting to raise his younger sister Abby (Piper Rubio). In an effort to make ends meet, Mike takes a job at a long-abandoned pizza and party palace that was once very popular. Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza is a battered place that looks empty, but there are secrets that stir in the quiet. Mike confronts these mysteries with the help of an over-friendly cop Vanessa (Elizabeth Lail) and in doing so he is able to confront personal torments and regrets that haunt his everyday life.

The added depth in Five Nights At Freddy’s the film all revolves around Mike. There are flashbacks throughout the movie where Mike is placed in the middle of a memory where his brother is kidnapped. Mike was in charge of watching his sibling but one lapse of attention led to a permanent vacancy in his soul. Mike’s employment at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza has an unexpected side effect when it comes to Mike’s obsession with his memory and ends up playing a large part in the film’s finale.

That was a lot of words to say that Five Nights At Freddy’s is a movie that features creepy animal animatronics that have a vengeful violent side. Mike needs to figure out the truth behind Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza before he and his sister become another footnote in the former 80s birthday party haven’s history.

Listen, Five Nights At Freddy’s is not great. But who was expecting this movie to break the mold? Anyone? I hope not. If you are, adjust your expectations.

Don’t press play on Five Nights At Freddy’s If you are expecting something that will reshape the world of horror. The movie is not scary, nor is it exceptionally made or irresistibly entertaining. However, if you want a predictable short escape from reality, the Five Nights At Freddy’s can fit your film prescription. It’s a credit to the movie that it knows what it is (for the most part) and doesn’t try to be something greater than its inspiration allows it.

Josh Hutcherson got back in the major cultural zeitgeist for the first time in a long time playing the lead character Mike. Hutcherson’s performance is fine, but there is a confounding casting and story problem that’s tough to overcome. Are we supposed to believe that Mike is Abby’s older brother? Sorry, but we don’t believe it for a single second. Like it or not, Josh Hutcherson no longer looks like a high school boy. He can be considered an adult. And Abby is just so much younger. That really throws a wrench into the blender when you first hear about it.

While we are nit-picking things, let’s talk about the pointless aunt. Aunt Jane (Mary Stuart Masterson) hates Mike, for reasons I am not entirely sure, and then has cockamamy ways of potentially ruining his relationship with his daughter. Sure, one could say she was integral to having Abby run away from Mike, but aunt Jane as a macguffin does not make Five Nights At Freddy’s any more plausible plot wise than it would be without it.

There are already plans to have a sequel to Five Nights At Freddy’s, and how that would work is a complete mystery. Will it be Six Nights at Sandra’s? The movie is going to be directed again by Emma Tammi, who helped curate the vision for this viral yet perfectly mediocre movie. Till the money-grabbing follow-up is released, you can engage in this particular culturally curated child-safe thriller on Peacock.

Don’t expect the world. Go in with low expectations and you can take Five Nights At Freddy’s for what it is. Anything else you’ll be let down.

P.S. Has Peacock cracked the code with streaming pop culture movies that are actually terrible? We had Cocaine Bear (2023) in February and now Five Nights At Freddy’s to round out the year. Do they seem to have some magic sauce everyone else wishes they had?

STANKO RATING: C-