HOLLYWOOD ONE-ON-ONE DATE

• We are starting this episode with a one-on-one date. That is a bit of a shocker. BUT, before we get to the super romantic one-on-one date, we have to have Jesse come in and stir the pot a bit.
  • I do love how Jesse called Brayden out for his ridiculous outfit. As Jesse said, Brayden said fuck it after receiving the first impression rose.
    • Also it is our first dose of the dangly earrings which are going to be a Brayden staple for his time on the show.
      • Also a good little bit I learned from EW recap; This is from Brayden on the official Bachelor podcast: “I was in the Army, and in the Army, you’re not allowed to wear earrings,” Brayden explained. “So, when I got out, it was kind of just like, I wanted to just go for it. And so I got my ears pierced, and then I got the craziest earrings I could. I feel like they kind of represent how I’m feeling in the moment.”
      • I had no idea that Brayden was in the army.
• So now is time for the one-on-one date between Charity and Aaron B.
  • First of all, Charity looks great. The green leather jacket works, and I am not a leather fan. Charity looks fantastic.
    • Aaron, you look fine.
  • Charity picks up Aaron B. in a red convertible and it is a nice car.
    • But do all of the guys need to come out and watch them go away together? That has to be the producers doing, has to be. Must be. This was more awkward than it ever needed to be.
  • On the drive in the convertible it is a classic first date talk about favorite music genres and artists. Standard rig-a-ma-roll.
  • When Charity parks the care, it is so they can have a pretty look at the Hollywood sign.
    • Is this really that cool? Are we sure? I mean it is a decent visual, but this is just a picnic.
      • Why is it always champagne on the picnics? I would like some rose, or white wine. Hell, why not a High Noon or something?
        • I am surprised the show has not sold out for an alcoholic sponsor yet.
    • Oh I must have missed that this is the 100th anniversary of the Hollywood sign.
  • I have to be honest, all of the talking between Aaron and Charity seems a little forced. I am not getting a ton of chemistry.
    • Is this because Aaron is a very logical person from a military family? It is somewhat just the way he is. Perhaps Charity likes how dutifully he talks.
  • Aaron admits to it being a double-sided coin. Makes sense. We all kinda knew.
    • No more coin needed to get kisses for Aaron.
  • So the dinner portion of this date happens at the old Los Angeles Theater. It does look really freaking cool. I would like to hang out there.
    • Aaron brings up that he goes to therapy to improve upon things that he has struggled with in the past like active listening.
      • While this is a good thing to do, again I find it strange that it is getting pepped up so much. It is more uncommon for men to go to therapy, but it is now not out of the norm.
    • I don’t completely buy the fact that his exes took advantage of his new vulnerability by flirting with other guys.
      • This seems to be deflecting. This seems like you made bad choices in your life and are trying to find a way to pin it on some other people.
  • Alright, we have music from Lauren Alaina. WHo is she? I have no idea. We move forward.
  • Aaron B. gets the rose, there was never a doubt.
    • I have doubts though. I thought this date was boring and I did not get much from it between them.

DODGEBALL GROUP DATE

• First group date of the season! Let’s go!
• We have the majority of the men remaining on this group date: Dotun, Tanner, Adrian, John, Caleb A., Caleb B., Kaleb K., Xavier, James, Aaron S., Sean, and Brayden.
• All of these men arrive at the beach, and at first it seems like it is just going to be a normal beach day.
  • But this is the Bachelorette, there is no way we are keeping this normal.
    • Now it is time for the fourth annual Bachelorette Dodge Bowl.
      • There is a montage here that was very intense, probably too intense?
• Okay, so the Dodge Bowl
  • All of the men are wearing speedos. This was to be expected!
    • At least they are not playing naked, but it is still revealing.
    • Cups are necessary for all players.
    • The post credit scene of this episode involved the men getting dressed, and getting all shaped up appropriately with razors
      • It was chuckle inducing.
    • Aaron S. makes a Yosef joke, so that was pretty funny.
  • Would not be a banana hammock hang without a slow-motion entrance.
  • We know that it is best three out of five and the winning team gets extra time with Charity and the losing team has to go home.
    • And the MVP gets extra time as well; and the MVP can be from any team.
  • Announcers for the event are Jesse Palmer, Charity and Liz Habib.
    • Did Liz say anything that was not in the introduction portion?
  • Fucking LOVED it that fans and viewers of the games were getting pelted with dodgeballs. It was hilarious.
    • But where do the balls go that didn’t hit anyone? Did they just roll forever?
  • Xavier had a remarkable play in the first game catching a ball while on the ground; genuinely it was a super-duper play. Jesse the sports broadcaster came out to play.tell the pink to go for Caleb first…and that theory works well.
    • Without Caleb on the floor, Adrian is able to rise to the challenge. He is often the last one remaining for green, and he is putting it all out there as well.
  • The pink team ended up winning the match, 3-2. Adrian won MVP. which means he is headed to the after party.
• It is time for the sit down portion of this date, which means it is time for the drama portion.
  • Brayden pulls Charity along first and is his puppy-dog self and says he is crushing on her.
    • The weirdest thing was that he drew Avatar into this conversation, which just boggled my brain.
  • John has a lovely chat
    • He is getting a lot of love, which means he is either going to flame out miserably or he is going to excel with flying colors.
  • Amongst the group Brayden starts to ruffle feathers talking like the socially unaware man he is.
    • He talks about the first impression rose (again), and then tells Adrian that he doesn’t think he deserved the MVP trophy.
      • Well that was an uncalled for shot. WTF, Brayden?
  • Adrian gets time with Charity and he mentions his kid. I for one forgot that he had a kid.
    • He then brings up the fact that some of the other guys are “playing games” and are acting like it is spring break.
      • Adrian plays this well because he doesn’t mention anyone by name and instead he says that Charity is smart and she can figure it out.
  • John gets the group date rose, and I am all for it. He did nothing wrong.
  • The camera lingers on the group post the rose give-away for longer than usual because Brayden and Adrian are going to go at it.
    • Brayden makes the fair point that they don’t need to act sad when Charity isn’t around, but I do think that Adrian is right that Brayden is taking this whole thing a little too cavalierly.

JOEY’S GROUP DATE

• ABC and the show runners would say that this is a group date, but really this is Joey’s date and the rest of the fellas are along for the ride.
• Gabby and Rachel are on the scene to ask some Q&As to the guys to see how well they know Charity and how their chemistry works.
  • The man who does best job writing down answers on small white boards gets the opportunity to record “the longest kiss in Bachelor Nation history”
    • This is an on screen kiss, because there might be longest kisses in fantasy suites.
  • There are some weird moments in the Q&A, but the craziest thing was asking the guys to show Charity their ultimate makeout…by mimicking it on themselves or microphones. What the hell was this? I don’t like this.
  • Rachel talks with Charity (sneakily) and notes how Joey just won’t stop looking at her. It is true. Joey is really good at making and maintaining eye contact.
  • Joey adds to his legend during the final question: Tell us a story of a memorable kiss from your past?
    • Most guys tell a story from their past, but Joey talks about a hypothetical kiss…hypothetically the longest kiss in Bachelor Nation history that he is going to share with Charity
      • Charity fucking loves this. You can see her melt.
  • So Joey and Charity get to kiss and break the record…and all of the guys have to stay and watch.
    • This is cruel and unusual punishment. This is not very fair. I know they have to for the reaction shots, but it has to be absolutely brutal.
    • Joey and Charity go about a minute past the old record and I guess that is because they couldn’t hear Rachel and Gabby saying that they broke the record.
• The most interesting thing about the group date happens when the loser guys return to the mansion.
  • OH YEAH, ONLY JOEY GOT TO GO TO THE DINNER PORTION. EXTRA BRUTAL.
  • Josh (sharply dressed man) tries to spin the group date in a positive direction, but it is Brayden…who wasn’t there…who is taking the most offense.
    • Brayden is speaking eloquently how he is going to pack his bags because he feels like the guys have been disrespected.
      • Brayden…you really like to insert yourself into conversations and stories you don’t need to be.
• I guess we should talk about Joey and Charity’s talk over their uneaten charcuterie board.
  • Joey talks to Charity about how his parents are divorced, but he didn’t have a hard household life at all. It was a unique scenario where his dad came out as gay, while his parents separated, they still loved each other and made sure to be good parents. It is a really sweet story that Joey wraps together nicely: “It’s made me now a more loving and accepting person.”
  • Yea Joey gets the group date rose. No doubt there.

BBQ DRAMA & BRAYDEN BEING STUPID

• Jesse enters the house and immediately we know what this is going to be about. We know that he is going to cancel the cocktail party. This is the only reason he can be coming in. Thankfully for the gents it was not all bad news, because Charity is on her way over for a barbeque now! Get ready fast!
• Brayden is still here, he didn’t pack up his bags and leave right away. However NOW he is ready to have a really serious conversation with Charity and if he doesn’t like what he hears…then he is LEAVING!
  • None of us actually believed this when he said it…right?
• Dotun gets a one-on-one chat with Charity and he is just as adorable as he was in week one.
  • He shows Charity his first identification card that he got when he migrated. 
  • Dotun is a really nice dude, and I want him to stroll on the beach in Paradise like a Godzilla.
    • This is because I don’t see him getting very far in this unfortunately. BUT I WANT HIM TO!
  • Dotun does have a very nice way of asking for a kiss saying it doesn’t need to be the longest kiss ever. Charity chuckles.
• Xavier and Aaron B. are manning the grill. I saw Xavier as a grill guy, but not Aaron B. I wonder who is the best on the grill of the bunch. 
• Tanner gets some face time and says that he is here for the right reasons.
• Sean basically does a night one kinda mini date with mini golf and they seemed to have a good time about it. Maybe a little too late in the game?
• Now we come to Brayden, to the conversation that will dictate his future.
  • SURPRISE. BRAYDEN IS STAYING. No shit.
  • The conversation begins with Brayden mentioning that the kissing conversation made him feel weird.
    • He said he felt bad and told Charity that he was ready to leave.
    • Charity doesn’t seem too sick about the idea…This is slightly alarming to me.
      • She apologizes to Brayden…which really makes no sense. She was just doing the thing.
• Now it is Adrian’s turn, and this is the moment where he kinda ruins himself.
  • Remember when Adrian didn’t mention names on the group date? Now he decides it is time to mention Brayden by name.
    • Adrian talks about a lack of emotional intelligence…sound familiar?
    • Adrian talks about how Brayden invalidated Josh’s feelings and instead said that what they went through was “classless” and “disrespectful.”
      • Charity took really bad to the “classless” word.
• So Charity leaves the BBQ, and this sparks someone to ask who said what that made them all angry.
  • Adrian speaks up and says it was him. This makes Brayden very angry.
  • Aaron S. is the most vocally angry in an interview, and JOey also notes that it is time for them to leave. Both of them.
    • But we know this isn’t going to happen.

ROSE CEREMONY

• We head into the Rose Ceremony and the three that are safe are Aaron B., John and Joey. They are all lined up on the right waiting to see how the rest would unfold.
• The drama unfolds, but we all know how this is going to end.
  • Yes, we know that Adrian and Brayden are going to be coming back for at least one more week. The producers can not allow this rivalry to be solved in one week. They need to torture Charity for one more week.
• The most surprising thing about the entire rose ceremony was Brayden giving the toast at the end. And he referenced himself, putting himself in the toast…does this man have zero self awareness. Does this man have zero social awareness?
  • The answer to both of these questions are yes.

(MY) POWER RANKINGS

No. 14
Brayden

(Last Week #7)

No. 13
Michael

(Last Week #5)

No. 12
Caleb B.

(Last Week #10)

No. 11
Sean

(Last Week #12)

No. 10
Adrian

(Last Week #13)

No. 9
Tanner

(Last Week #8)

No. 8
James

(Last Week $14)

No. 7
Aaron B.

(Last Week #6)

No. 6
Warwick

(Last Week #17)

No. 5
Aaron S.

(Last Week #16)

No. 4
Xavier

(Last Week #4)

No. 3
Dotun

(Last Week #2)

No. 2
John

(Last Week #3)

No. 1
Joey

(Last Week #1)

The Bachelorette‘s next episode is Monday, July 1-, 2023.

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