Standings


Notable Week 1 Nuggets

  • Well, what a wacky week one in the NFL. And I am actually talking about the games.
    • The Giants survive against the TItans
    • The Bengals and Steelers play a truly ugly game that managed to be beautiful
    • Chiefs are still the Chiefs and told the Cardinals to bend over
    • The Cowboys offense looked terrible
      • The Patriots offense looked just as bad
    • Saints and Falcons played in a surprisingly very entertaining game
    • Lions ruined everyone’s betting day with a backdoor cover for the ages
    • We had a tie in Indianapolis and Houston…classic
    • Jacksonville blew a game they should have won…because Carson Wentz was clutch. Those tow things don’t make sense
    • The 49ers and Bears game was played in a hurricane and turns out there is no gold in Chicago
  • It was nice to get back in the groove of football. College football doesn’t do it. Getting all the different screens going. Hating when your team is losing but then collapsing of joy when your opponent misses a game-winning field goal. It was just a good day.
  • A bit of a bummer that one only one game this week came down to Monday night, and I can’t believe it is my game against Tommy because it is far past my bed time to be stressing out about it.
  • Some big names did not preform up to the standards that they expected
    • Aaron Rodgers with a dud
    • Christian McCaffrey underperformed
    • CeeDee Lamb struggle city
    • Allen Robinson decided not to suit up
    • Alvin Kamara never gets single digits
    • Austin Ekeler doesn’t reach double-digits either
    • Tee Higgins with a meh performance
    • Kyle Pitts only scoring 2.9 points?
    • Is Derrick Henry in trouble?
    • Cam Akers…was aching. Mike Gesicki was as invisible as his pronunciation guide
    • Seattle upsets Russell Wilson’s homecoming.
Points Scored Compared To Projected
  1. My Glockz Out (+57.72)
  2. Country Roads Take Mahomes (+17.8)
  3. Ooooo Jeudy James Jeudy (+9.9)
  4. Team Lobo (-0.02)
  5. Ek’s Gonna Give It To Ya (-11.04)
  6. My Own Worst Etiennemy (-16.28)
  7. -The Bourne Supremacy (-22.14)
  8. Hotel, Motel, Golladay Inn (-24.58)
  9. Dirty Mike And The Boys (-33.04)
  10. Lights, Kamara, Jackson (-34.18)

Week 1 Matchup Recap

My Glockz Out (173.22) defeats Dirty Mike And The Boys (###)

Glock did indeed take his cock out.

All but three players for McLaughlin scored in double-figures. Kyler Murray managed 20.62 points despite his time getting killed. AJ Dllion (pride of Boston College) seems to be acting like the RB1 for Green Bay. Tyreek Hill scored 14.0 points but could have had 20. Michael Pittman Jr. gets such a lion share of Matt Ryan’s targets.

I am going to touch on Barkley a bit later, but this is when I mention Justin Jefferson. I almost missed him because Tom put him in the flex spot, but that is the top wide receiver of the week with 34.9 points. Jefferson took advantage of all the zone coverage the Green Bay was playing and managed a game where he more than tripled his projected output.

Ritz and his curse of getting quarterbacks hurt continues. Dak Prescott, even after all the scuttle butt conversation about him during the draft, had a terrible game before he got hurt against Tampa Bay. Now he is out six to eight weeks, so Ritz may be relying on Jameis Winston to provide some stability. To be fair, he had 21.66 points against Atlanta…but he is a feast of famine player.

Ritz also had a tough break with Cam Akers not doing anything for the Rams. It was a very controversial play by the Rams since he was definitely hurt but he was not on the injury report. I found out about Akers injury at like 8:10 when kickoff was at 8:15 last Thursday. People are Barstool got some news and there were grumblings, but I didn’t expect it to be literally nothing.

Ritz needs a bounce back week next week. He also owes Tom 20 bucks.

MVP of this lopsided matchup has to be Saquon Barkley of the New York Giants. The biggest game of the day by a running back nets him 30.4 points. Just an absolutely massive return to form for the once top-drafted running back. Ritz, how did you feel with Barkley helping your Giants win, but also crushing you in fantasy?

Mr. McLaughlin cruises to a 1-0 start while Ritz needs to lick some wounds after this loss.

Team Lobo (131.58) defeats My Own Worst Etiennemy (106.02)

Hey Lobo, please give yourself a team name. Steve needs bonus points because I haven’t seen his team name before.

However, Lobo is probably telling me to go fuck myself because he won week one in convincing fashion over Steve in convincing fashion. Josh Allen put up a gargantuan 31.48 points, and top running back Jonathan Taylor reminded people he was the most popular number one pick in fantasy this season with 25.5 points.

I think the shocking bit from Lobo’s team is that Antonio Gibson scored 16.5 points in week one after not being a huge part of the offense in the preseason. Obviously the injury to Brian Robinson allowed him to get back in the fold, but still 16.5 was an impressive amount.

If Lobo has one thing to worry about, maybe it is his WR3 position. Kadrius Toney struggled in a win for the Giants. Godwin messed up his hamstring a bit after coming back from his ACL already. Michael Gallup didn’t suit up week one but now he is without Dak Prescott. Would appear that Lobo needs to rely on the long ball threat Joshua Palmer or the dump off king Macole Hardman.

Also should note that Lobo scored the second most points this week without Kyle Pitts doing anything for Atlanta. rather impressive.

For Steve, as he has told me, his season(s) is going to rely of in Travis Etienne Jr. is good. Etienne Jr. dropped a touchdown pass and was inconsistent to say the least in the Jacksonville’s loss against Washington. Jalen hurt was good at QB, but Derrick Henry fell off his projection by nine points, and Hunter Renfrow scored seven points below his.

I think the MVP of this matchup is the flex position; by that I mean Gibson performing big in his step-up for the Commanders, and Etienne under preformed and had some poor gameplay lead to direct negative points. These two players where in the same game, and the success of the winning team’s running back compared to the failure of the other’s is directly relatable.

Lobo with an impressive high-scoring start for a 1-0 beginning to his campaign, while Steve falls short and begins at 0-1.

The Bourne Supremacy (95.96) Defeats Hotel, Motel, Golladay Inn (95.12)

THIS IS WHY YOU STAY UP LATE WATCHING FOOTBALL AND PLAYING THE WITCHER 3!

Javonte Williams, in the waning moments of the game, in the final seconds, catches a dump off from Russell Wilson that proves to be just enough points for me to take down Tommy, 95.96 to 95.12.

Now in the trust tree we can be honest and say that neither Tommy nor I deserved to win this week. I scored the fourth fewest points of the week and Tommy was just beneath me. I clearly am the lowest scoring winner, but I take it.

Looking at both Tommy and I’s team, we were both let down by our quarterbacks. Trey Lance was rather terrible against the Chicago Bears, and Joe Burrow literally turned the ball over five times which is negative ten points, which would have been plenty of enough to win.

Both of us also had a receiver let us down. Allen Robinson Jr. had 1.7 points for me in the flex spot, and Cole Kmet had literally zero points, and CeeDee Lamb was a disappointment with 3.9 points…and he looks spotty going forward.

Tommy also got fucked with Elijah Mitchell getting hurt.

Tommy, I am sorry man. This has to be tough to wake up to.

It’s an obvious choice for who is MVP of this matchup. Have to give it to Javonte Williams for getting the clutch catch in the final minute of Monday Night Football. I could give it to the Broncos coaching staff for not communicating with Russell Wilson their game plan, but let’s go with the less meta selection

Tommy suffers heartbreak to fall to 0-1 while I survive somehow and begin the season at 1-0.

Ek’s Gonna Give It To You (115.26) defeats Lights, Kamara, Jackson (88.72)

Dare I say, this score and the margin of victory for Buzzi is not as wide as it seems? Both teams had three standout performances. For Ronan it was Lamar Jackson, Joe Mixon and A.J. Brown. For Buzzi it was Justin Herbert, Davante Adams and Travis Kelce.

The major difference comes in the tight end position. Kelce had 22.1 points for Kansas City and the Chiefs looked remarkable against Arizona. Meanwhile Ronan only got one point from Dawson Knox in a game where his team put up a ton of points. Over a 20 point difference at the same position is hard to makeup in any game.

Buzzi has to be very excited for Thursday night. He has Justin Herbert and Travis Kelce going up against one another in what is sure to be a bonkers scoring game.

While touching on Herbert, Buzzi got lucky that Mike Williams only had two points, even with the Keenan Allen injury. Seems a bit odd, and for those who had Williams as a high-flyer this year (I did, admittedly), it may be time to panic.

Not a ton of standouts on Buzzi’s team, so I am going to give the MVP to for Buzzi to Ronan’s roster selection. Did you follow all of that?

Ronan’s bench outscored his starters. He only had three players score over 10 points, but one his bench he had five. I don think that Ronan will have some clarity on who to play at the wide receiver spot because Mike Williams is hurt and Robbie Anderson and Julio Jones are going to get an upgrade to the starting lineup.

Buzzi begins the season unblemished at 1-0 while Ronan’s return to the playoff hopes starts out at 0-1.

Country Roads Take Mahomes (139.7) defeats Ooooo Jeduy James Jeudy (109.0)

Ohhh I bet McGinnity wished that he had more time to check out his lineup. All of the rumors surrounding J.K. Dobbins were that he was too hurt to play even if he was active. Also George Kittle got put onto the injury report late during the week. Not great for Matt’s TE1 getting on the injury list in his first week of the season.

Jimmy’s team is ballooned by Patrick Mahomes’ 34.9 points and D’Andre Swift 25.0 points. Mahomes had five touchdowns and zero interceptions and Swift was seemingly touching the ball on every single snap for the Detroit Lions. Amon-Ra St. Brown also arose with a touchdown to get 16.4 points.

Jimmy is also playing roulette with the Philadelphia running backs, but all of the scored on Sunday against the Lions and Miles Sanders was the first.

It should be noted that Tommy’s bench also out preformed ESPN’s predictions, carried heavily by the Steelers 22.0 points on his bench. Totally understandable why Jimmy didn’t play them against the Bengals, because who would have guessed five turnovers for Cincy.

I will give you this hint Jimmy. You should play the Steelers against the Patriots next week.

McGinnity only got 3.7 points from Aaron Rodgers, but even a standard performance would not have been enough. The double zeroes between J.K. Dobbins and George Kittle killed him. Deebo Samuel still getting 11.6 points in the rain in Chicago was pretty solid, and Cooper Kupp and Gabe David each scored above their predictions. McGinnity outperformed his projects, so if he had fill in for his zeroes he would have been close. His backup RBs didn’t do too much, but would have provided a scare.

The matchup MVP for Jimmy vs. McGinnity is Siena and Matt’s family. He has his priorities straight. He knows what is important. And Jimmy Ben

Jimmy Simon begins the season 1-0 with a win over depleted Matthew McGinnity.

Week 2 Matchups

Country Roads Take Mahomes (1-0) vs. The Bourne Supremacy (1-0)
Ek’s Gonna Give It To You (1-0) vs. Team Lobo (1-1)
Lights, Kamara, Jackson (0-1) vs. My Glockz Out (1-0)
Oooooo Jeudy James Jeudy (0-1) vs. Dirty Mike And The Boys (0-1)
Hotel, Motel, Golladay Inn (0-1) vs. My Own Worst Etiennemy (0-1)


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