We are two episodes in and the only thing I am sure of is that Victoria is the worst and I hate every time she speaks. Matt James is just being handsome but now we are getting to know the girls a little bit more. Maybe Kit’s fashion isn’t as bad as I thought, and Bri is a trooper for being a good sport on a date she just didn’t like.

The most EARTH SHATTERING news was brought forward by Bachelor Universe favorite Ben Higgins when he pointed out that Matt James kisses with his eyes open. I have never seen my girlfriend with such a visceral reaction as when she realized it was true.

Below are MY power rankings of the remaining contestants vying for Matt James’ heart.

24. VICTORIA

Her at the wedding photo shoot was terrible to watch, but then her fishing for compliments made it even worst. ALSO, THE BRA CHOICES. I NOTICED IT AS A MALE AND SAID IT WAS HIDEOUS. GROSS.

23. KAILI

She made the memorable entrance, but after that…what has she done?

22. KIT

I know Kit is into fashion, but is it worth it if the outfits are weird? Would LOVE for a Chelsea and Kit conversation about fashion.

21. KRISTIN

She was a bit more present this past episode. I think I know I am too low on her, but need proof to raise her.

20. ALANA

I think she has a mean streak and I don’t think that she is going to last a lot longer.

19. ILLEANA

I’ll repeat what I said last week: Really pretty but don’t remember her talking at all.

18. KHAYLAH

See Illeana’s description above…

17. MAGI

Her not being a date hurts, but thinks she survives because she is charismatic as hell.

16. SYDNEY

She looked very good in the wedding dress she chose during the date. Again she has a massive smile that lights up a room but don’t feel like we’ve gotten enough of her. For someone in her bio said she wasn’t gonna take any guff…we haven’t seen her fight back.

15. LAUREN

Matt and Lauren share the same values, and she will last a bit because of that. But I really just find her boring. But maybe boring is normal with this show.

14. ANNA

She is a wee bit crazy, but she is a great narrator. Producers have to love her and she is essential to understanding this show and the journey unfolding.

13. SERENA C.

An essential storyteller and quirky gossip disher. She fills the same holes that Anna fills, but more personably…for now.

12. JESSENIA

She is short and spunky. She isn’t afraid to get in the mud. I think she is cute, but I am probably too high on her and I just know it.

11. MARI

Mari earned the extra spot on the group date for her effort and fight. I love that competitiveness. Also I think Matt asked the producers for her be a part .

10. MARYLYNN

She went toe-to-toe with Victoria and appeared the more mature by an immeasurable amount. I stand for anyone against Victoria.

9. PIEPER

She is just stunning. She has knocked it out of the park with every outfit she is in. She reminds me of Jinx from “Deadpool 2”

8. SERENA P.

Serena P. and MJ are best friends and you can’t convince me otherwise. They each are suave and seem to flow through everything. She does look like she is going to get a villain edit next episode…so eyes are open.

7. KATIE

She showed in a sort glimpse that she is more than just a gag dildo. She seemed sincere in the few lines of the episode. Still find her exceptionally cute.

6. RACHAEL

I think Rachael lasts a long time but she wasn’t a huge presence in this past episode. She at least had a little voice. This is me buying stock hoping she gets more involved.

5. SARAH

No denying that she and Matt share a lot of the same values. Their one-on-one date was a little formulaic compared to Bri, but still profound.

4. CHELSEA

It seems like Chelsea has been through a ton of drama and is just tired of it. She looks like an assassin so everyone beware.

3. MJ

Cool as the other side of the pillow. MJ just has a different vibe than the rest of the girls and its making her stand out.

2. BRI

Bri DID NOT want to be on that ATV date, but she made the most of it. My strongest inclination regarding Bri is that she is really smart, and she won’t be letting emotions get the best of her.

1. ABIGAIL

I know that Bri really got the shine to start episode two, but Abigail’s little cute conversation with Matt was top-notch. Matt wanted her and she was incredibly personable.

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