The Old Guard
Director: Gina Prince-Bythewood
Writers: Greg Rucka
Stars: Charlize Theron, Kiki Layne, Matthias Schoenaerts

Release Date: July 10, 2020

Netflix. How could you do this to me? How could you Charlize Theron like this!? The latest straight to streaming Netflix production is a mess of a movie with bad action, bad writing and some really bad acting. “The Old Guard” is a skip on every mark.

THIS MOVIE STINKS. TO HIGH HEAVEN.

I wanted good, expecting tolerable. The Old Guard has so many ingredients that I like: Charlize Theron, fantasy, team-ups and action. Those usually make up for something I can at least half-hardheartedly recommend. But such is not the case with The Old Guard. This movie is a uninspired attempt at entertainment.

I am looking at it now and somehow it has a 70 Metascore on IMDB and A 79% ON ROTTEN TOMATOES??!! What on bloody earth is happening here!? I wish I knew this when I recorded my quick reaction because this has me flabbergasted.

I have to think that this has to do with people’s expectations for movies being lower during COVID. That has to be the reasoning, right? The acting in The Old Guard is not good, an in particular Kiki Layne is not good one bit. The story is simple simple simple and predictable predictable and predictable.

I mean the BIG BAD is a huge pharmaceutical CEO type of a FARMA corporation? Yet somehow he has a private army? Chiwetel Ejiofor plays a former CIA agent who is somehow forgiven at the end despite leading to so many of the Immortals to danger.

I would avoid The Old Guard at all costs. And if there is a sequel (heavily inferred), I will be putting on strictly to fall asleep to.

STANKO RATING: D- (1.0/5 Stars)

“The Old Guard” IMDB
“The Old Guard” Rotten Tomatoes

Stanko’s Stance Podcast on Spotify
Stanko’s Stance Podcast on Apple

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s