This one is inspired by Barstool’s Tommy Smokes. If you don’t know him, give him a follow. If you do know him, unfollow him, then refollow him. He feasts off of clout.

This past Sunday Night the 81st Golden Globes were held and aired on CBS. The show itself did not get a ton of praise. It was bad from the jump. Yes, Jo Koy’s monologue was bad. but we are not here to talk about that. You can exhale.

We are talking about the award speeches. There were a few memorable moments from Monday night. A few that were worth watching scrolling X or Instagram. But for the most part, many of the speeches were much the same. 

I thank you. I thank you. I thank you, and you, and you. Thanks to everyone and everything. Who needs Thanksgiving when you can have an awards ceremony!

This is where Tommy Smokes comes in.

Perhaps no thanking at all is a bit harsh, but I think that Tommy is onto something. There has to be a way where we can liberate the winners from feeling so shackled by their need to list off everyone who helped them in their career. Sure, perhaps these winners enjoy going through their contact list and picking out who is most important to their success. Perhaps they get a true dopamine rush calling out everyone they can possibly imagine.

The thing is that many speeches end with “and to anyone i have forgotten, please” blah blah.

Here is my plan so that none of the winner’s supporting army is forgotten.

Have a graphic that appears on the screen while the winner is giving their speech. You have the lower third that says WINNER and THE CATEGORY. That stays, that stays for the start. The initial emotion and shock. Hell, it can stay for the whole time.

But how about this, an extension of the graphic. A little dropdown area that contains a rotating list of a set number of individuals that get a shoutout on the screen. You ask all the nominees before the night for 10 names that they want to include on screen, allowing more time in their acceptance speech to entertain and inform rather than thank. The celebrities have a set amount of time on the stage, and you just gave them 20 more seconds to make jokes and make a memorable moment.

To those who say this is disrespectful to the individuals not thanked personally, I counter with this: Your name is on TV, and do you know how many people will watch that TV clip on the Internet without sound on. Do you know how many people will see that name as it rotates in? The viewership knows how to spell this person’s name and they can look up this person. This could lead to more impressions. Sure, the name isn’t spoken into a microphone, but it’s still a shoutout and they were still handpicked by the winner. If you think about it, the nominees have time to think about the X amount of names they are allowed to give. They will have days to think and they still chose those names!

I can’t tell award winners to not vocally thank the most important individuals of their lives, but there is a way to free the shackles a bit. Just toss a graphic on the bottom. Push of a button in the truck. It’s all on you, graphics guy!

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