Stanko's Stance

PREAMBLE

I am under the weather, so apologies for the rather abrupt and short-worded recap. I am really tired of being sick. I have gotten more sick in the last few months than I normally do in a year. How do you people with kids do it? Are your immune systems stronger? I am annoyed.

The quarterfinals saw a pair of upsets. Brick, one of the hottest teams to end the regular season, got bit in the ass by weather and defense of the Buffalo Bills. Dak Prescott and Brandin Cooks were held in check, big time. Meanwhile Vaghi gets the win, but he can call himself lucky because it aws not his beast outing. But that is what you play the matchups.

Eric, the statistically deepest and most talented team (at least according to the deep analytics), got bit in the ass in the quarterfinals. Josh Allen did his best despite throwing for less than 100 yards, but the decisions made in playing the players he did doomed Eric. Trey McBride was a great call, but seeing four 20+ scorers on his bench has to hurt.

Now we enter the semifinals with the top two seeds trying to to guarantee that they don’t meet the same demise as the previous round’s higher seeds.

Let’s get going.

QUARTERFINALS SCOREBOARD

• I love Jahmyr Gibbs. The man is so fun to watch. Having him go off on Saturday night was a fantastic sight while Eric unfortunately had Tee Higgins and Ty Chandler on his bench. It is very hard to beat a team three times, and somehow I did it to one of the best teams this season. I have to say that I was somewhat confident going into the matchup because I knew many of my team members had matchups against not great opponents. You still have to play the games, though.
  • It is by no means a bad score for Eric. 114.46 is about eight points less than his average, and that is not detrimental. And Eric can’t beat himself up for not playing some of his high scoring bench players. Chandler had not scored double-digit points since Week 11, and had only done so twice this season. Tee Higgnis hadn’t scored double-digit points since Joe Burrow got hurt and his own injury where he missed three weeks. And Terry McClaurin was coming off of a goose egg against Minnesota in week 13.
• Sam Howell, Saquon Barkley and Jerome Ford are the first three players listed on Vaghi’s roster from last week and they all have single-digit point values assigned to them. Not great. But then you jump down and there is Amari Cooper with 20.9 points. How about that late touchdown from Joe Flacco? Proved huge for the Browns and for Vaghi. This week it was Cooper Kupp stealing the targets from Puka Nacua but Amon-Ra St. Brown is still a ball hawk for the Lions. Vaghi has to hope that his running backs and quarterbacks come to play and Bove.
  • Dak Prescott had not had a single-digit scoring output since week five against San Francisco. That isn’t good timing. Also, what a horrendous bit of luck that Brick’s defense scored one point each. However, the worst bit of luck for Brick was having his top two wide receivers out. No Tyreek Hill and no Chris Olave meant he was playing with a leg chopped off, and Brick’s team ended up falling straight on its face. Not sure how Brick would have dispensed his receiving talents between the WR positions and Flex spot, but regardless it is safe to say Hill alone would have changed the game. Hill averages 24.9 points per game. Brandin Cooks had three points. A 21.9 point different is more than enough to swing this matchup in his favor.

QUARTERFINALS ANALYTICS

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• Eric has to be a bit annoyed that the other matchup featured two teams that did not cross the 100-point threshold.
• Eric had more points on his bench that his actionable roster.
  • Tee Higgins, Tery McLaurin, Ty Chandler and Baker Mayfield all had over 22 points. Bonkers! Nuts!
  • Eric’s 117.24 would have been a regular season best. Depth is good, but when deployed properly.
• The losing teams in the quarterfinals led the following categories: Points On Bench, Full Team Points, Running Back Points, Tight End Points, and Defense Points.
• Everyone’s kickers sucked. Nobody scored more than five points from the position.
• I was the only one to outperform projections.

ADDITIONAL STATISTICS

Margin Of Victory By Week

• Week One: 35.96
• Week Two: 25.74
• Week Three: 25.97
• Week Four: 27.31
• Week Five: 48.05
• Week Six: 18.00
• Week Seven: 37.48
• Week Eight: 22.20
• Week Nine: 29.89
• Week Ten: 22.17
• Week Eleven: 17.38
• Week Twelve: 32.87
• Week Thirteen: 25.66
• Week Fourteen: 29.62
• Quarterfinals: 14.15 *2 Matches
• Average Margin Of Victory This Season Is 27.43

Average Team Totals Per Week

• Week One: 101.19
• Week Two: 117.54
• Week Three: 120.95
• Week Four: 118.77
• Week Five: 118.61
• Week Six: 107.77
• Week Seven: 111.97
• Week Eight: 123.68
• Week Nine: 104.25
• Week Ten: 113.925
• Week Eleven: 115.38
• Week Twelve: 128.12
• Week Thirteen: 115.93
• Week Fourteen: 113.21
• Quarterfinals: 104.79 *2 Matches
• Average Team Total This Season Is 114.40

SEMIFINAL PLAYOFF MATCHUPS

WE WILL BE PREVIEWING ONLY THE MATCHUPS THAT MATTER. APOLOGIES TO ALL THOSE OFFENDED.

• No. 5 Monkey Boys vs. No. 1 Participation Trophy
  • Vaghi and Bove matched up just once this season, midway through the season in week eight.
    • Bove won the contest, 135.12 to 120.38.
      • Bove had Justin Herbet in his QB slot, and Mark Andrews in his TE slot. Both of those are not viable now. Bove did have Hopkins on his bench with 34.8 points. Vaghi was able to keep it close with Sam Howell scoring 30.98 points, but it wasn’t enough.

* Ranks Best In The League | ^ Ranks Worst In The League

• No. 6 Look What You Made Me Koo vs. No. 2 Aaron Rodger’s Trip Setter
  • Gabe swept both matchups during the regular season against me. In week one he had an easy-peasy walk in the park, and in week 12 he put forth one of the best scoring outputs of the season to sink me.
    • In week one Gabe won 115.76 to 68.96.
      • Gabe had Deshaun Watson in his lineup this week, and I had Cam Akers. Both of whom are now on IR. I got just 6.56 from Lamar Jackson and had only one player score double-digit points; thank you A.J. Brown. Gabe would have won with just Watson, Christian McCaffrey and Calin Ridley.
    • Gabe scored a league best 181.76 points in one outing in week 12, nearly doubling up my 93.68 score.
      • C.J. Stroud and Christian McCaffrey each scored 30 plus points. Josh Jacobs, Ridley, and DJ Moore all had 20+ points. The only player on his team that didn’t score double digits was Justin Tucker.

* Ranks Best In The League | ^ Ranks Worst In The League

PUBLIC RELATIONS

“One week at a time. Somehow pulled out the three-game sweep against Eric. Hopefully I can get lucky for a second straight week, but Gabe’s team has Christian McCaffrey and the 49ers defense. Seeing how I have Lamar Jackson at QB, we will both be waiting for Monday night with bated breath.”

Jonathan Stanko – Manager of Look What You Made Me Koo

“Said it all season. Tyreek or bust, no Tyreek and a dismal performance has led to my early and undeserving exit from the tournament. I’m rooting for nobody. Godspeed.”

Greg Brick – Manager of Derby Dumpster Fires

“”Another ugly win, but ready to get back over 100 points this week. Boves team will be a challenge to take down, hoping Laporta got all his touchdowns out of his system after last week.”

Matthew Vaghi – Manager of Participation Trophy

“We had a solid season this year. JT going down to end the season absolutely boned us but hats off to CJ’s team beating us two weeks in a row. We will rebuild and we will make it back to the dance. P.s Fuck Tee Higgins, does nothing all year and puts up 25 in the playoffs. He’s dead to me.”

Eric Sieracki – Manager of Football Team

“The Monkey Boys are always a tough out. As long as Pittman is good to go, we like our chances and know that we put our best team out there.”

Tim Bove – Manger of Participation Trophy

“Yeah, I saw something that said that it takes skill to make it to playoffs, but it takes luck to win the championship. Well, I have both fuckers, and I’ll see one of y’all in the chip.”

Gabe Lizarazo – Manager of Aaron Rodger’s Trip Sitter

OTHER MATCHUPS

STANDINGS

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