PREAMBLE

We are a third of the way through the NFL season and we are halfway through the fantasy football season. The playoff push for the fifth and sixth seeds is going to be heated. The top four spots appear to have at least cheap elementary glue stick stickiness on the playoff bracket. With that being said, there is still a long way to go.

Three of the six matchups this week came down to Monday night, so that’s exciting. Not great for me getting a head start on the recaps I do, but good for the drama.

The six byes wreaked havoc on a lot of teams this season. There were more than a handful of rosters that had four or more players on a bye. What I don’t understand is why there are NO teams on a bye next week, but then we get to week 13 and there are six teams on a bye. How does this make sense? Why? 

For those curious on the bye week situation for the rest of the season. 

Let’s get going.

WEEK 7 SCOREBOARD

  • Two of the top scoring fantasy QBs faced off, but thankfully this is an entire roster team fantasy sport. Lamar Jackson showed off against the Detroit Lions, but his efforts were matched by A.J. Brown in primetime and Jamyr Gibbs getting dump offs galore against the victorious Ravens. It’s five wins in a row for team look What You Made Me Koo.
    • Michaud couldn’t ask more from Mahomes, but after that it is a glaring amount of single-digit efforts. Austin Ekeler was severely limited by the Chiefs defense, and Brian Robinson didn’t rise to the challenge against the Giants defense. Just a tough week for Michaud. 
  • Billy back in the winners circle! Let’s go. Now Jack and Billy are tied at 2-5, part of the log jam at the bottom of the standings. Billy got 31.3 points from Jordan Addison on Monday night, more than enough to earn the nearly 19 point win. All of Billy’s wide receivers scored double-digit points. I have to ask Billy if Addison was the sub-in after DK Metcalf was ruled out in the late afternoon Sunday games?
    • I can picture Jack throwing literal knives at a picture of Aaron Jones in his bedroom. List only got 15.9 points from his running backs, and he has to expect Jones to get that point total himself. This season he has missed three games, and has a combined 11.1 points in his last two games after scoring 26.7 points in the season opener. 
  • An absolute SWEAT heading into Monday night. Gabe had Christian McCaffrey, T.J. Hockenson and the 49ers defense kicked off in the final game of week seven. Somehow, somehow, Bove survives on Monday night and improves his record to 7-0 and Gabe falls to 2-0.
    • Gabe had Christian McCaffrey do his standard 22.6 point effort, and hell, 19.6 points from T.J. Hockenson is a massive day. But that San Francisco defense. Negative three points for the 49ers. Ouchy mama. Damn. Granted if San Francisco defense wasn’t even rostered, it would only have gotten Gabe within…0.16 points from victory. All he needed was one point from them. One, measly point.
    • Bove also sent me this Tik Tok to show his emotions from last night.
  • Matthew Vaghi earns his second straight win and elevates himself ahead of Kenney in the fight for the final playoff slots. Luckily Vaghi doesn’t get minus points at the QB position for sacks with Sam Howell. It was the skill positions that saved Matt; Saquon Barkley, Jerome Ford, Amon-Ra St. Brown and Puka Nacua all scored 17 points or more.
    • Michael Kenney had one foot in the loss bucket before the matchup even started with his bye situation. He didn’t have Joe Burrow or Derrick Henry. But to be fair. Would they have helped? Most of the struggle came from the receiver’s position. The Christian Watson magic that Billy was preaching in the preseason has not come to fruition.
  • Mr. Greg Brick, don’t look now, but you have one of the hottest teams in the league. Now, do the rumors of a Tyreek Hill injury scare you? Does Chris Olave getting arrested for reckless driving make you nervous? Your team is partying too hard after winning too much. Still, three wins in a row. Take that to the bank and cash it. Playoffs are calling.
    • Huntley has had a ton of shitty luck, but this week there is no angry god to curse at. This time around it is just under performance. Jaylen Waddle somehow is ranked 34th in fantasy despite being on the most exciting offense in football (when it works). Tyler Higbee was also invisible with his lowest output of the season. It hurts having Ja’Marr Chase and Breece Hall out, but Greg Brick was able to pull out the win with some byes on his roster as well.
  • A thrashing. A whomping. An ass-kicking. Eric improves to 5-2 behind the 20+ efforts of Josh Allen, Alvin Kamara, Jonathan Taylor, Mike Evans and Travis Kelce. The Chargers strategy of NEVER covering Kelce was a bold strategy. Very bold. One could say reckless. Eric went with the double TE play, putting Zack Ertz in the flex. His low output ended up being non consequential.
    • Timmy was hoping to be within striking distance having Kirk Cousins going Monday night. Unfortunately, he couldn’t score about 100 points. James Cook and Gus Edwards combined for 40.6 points. The rest of the Sunday players for Timmy totaled 23.8 points.

WEEK 7 ANALYTICS

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  • I set a new season-best for points scored in a matchup against Michaud, scoring 167.08 points. 
  • Timmy joined the ranks of Bove and Vaghi to have tight ends put up zero points in a week.
  • Brick’s choice of the Detroit Lions defense led to him having -7.0 points, which is the worst for a team thus far this year. With that being said, he still won.
  • List got unlucky this week having a top six scoring output but still ending up with a loss.
  • I guess you didn’t need a good quarterback to win this week? Only two of the top six quarterback scoring outputs ended up with winning team results.
  • Billy had his second best scoring output of the season. He also had his best scoring output compared to projected.
  • Bove had only 10.86 points from his quarterback, which ranked 10th this week, his worst ranking in that category. He still has the best average ranking when it comes to quarterback output.
  • Brick has had the ninth ranked QB output for three straight weeks. He has also had the 10th ranked kicker points three times this season now.
  • I fucked Eric a bit in the rankings because I inputted his week two score wrong.  My bad man. He is averaging 111.83 points per game. My bad Eric.
  • Gabe is 5-2 this season, but he only has three weeks with a scoring output that ranks sixth or better.
  • Huntley had his first ever week being in the bottom half of the scoring output.
  • Huntley still ranks top in the league in average points per game and average points from kickers.
  • Kenney used to be the king of the red in the rankings, but now he only ranks worst in one category, defense/special teams.
  • Timmy has a lot of red categories. Sorry man. Ouch. We gotta work on that.

ADDITIONAL WEEK 7 STATISTICS

Margin Of Victory By Week
  • Week 1: 35.96
  • Week 2: 25.74
  • Week 3: 25.97
  • Week 4: 27.31
  • Week 5: 48.05
  • Week 6: 18.00
  • Week 7: 37.48
  • Average Margin Of Victory This Season Is 31.22
TOP Six WEEKLY TOTAL
  • Stanko – 167.08
  • Eric – 159.60
  • Vaghi – 131.16
  • Billy – 119.20
  • Brick – 106.64
  • List – 101.76
LOWEST Six WEEKLY TOTAL
  • Kenney – 80.04
  • Timmy – 85.42
  • Michaud – 94.96
  • Gabe – 97.40
  • Huntley – 99.76
  • Bove – 100.56
Average Team Totals Per Week
  • Week One: 101.19
  • Week Two: 117.54
  • Week Three: 120.95
  • Week Four: 118.77
  • Week Five: 118.61
  • Week Six: 107.77
  • Week Seven: 111.97
  • Average Team Total This Season Is 113.83

WEEK 8 MATCHUPS

  • A monster matchup to begin week eight. Huntley is the top scoring team, and I am coming off the best week of the season. I will have Jamyr Gibbs going Monday night and I will know what I’ll need in order to play catchup. This one will have implications down the road, that I am sure of.
  • Gabe looks to rebound after his tough loss to Bove last week. List looking to get back on the winning track. Will List get Deebo back this week? I am not entirely sure. I also am fascinated that Gabe still has Chase Claypool on his roster.
  • Billy and Michaud both sit 2-5 on the season and are currently in 11th and 12th in the standings, respectively. Billy gets Joe Mixon back from bye, and maybe Daniel Jones back from injury? Michaud, I think you are playing against a team that would be willing to trade to Jared Goff on your bench. You have a top-10 QB riding your bench.
  • Vaghi is currently going with the bold strategy of playing Sam Howell against the Philadelphia Eagles defensive line. He did have 19.6 points the first time around, and if that happens again that’ll be huge. Bove has the luxury of having both Mark Andrews and Sam LaPorta, both of whom he will probably be playing.
  • Sad Last Place Kenney is tied for last…but he leads the tie breakers and is in eighth place. Also, is he going to play Tua going up against the Patriots…oh that is gonna sting. Eric is hungry and proving himself very dangerous with back-to-back weeks in the top two of scoring. Jonathan Taylor looked like the Jonathan Taylor of old last week, and if that continues he will be very dangerous. Also, who would have thought that getting Adam Thielen back would be massive.
  • What is Brick going to do with Darrell Henderson Jr.? McVay seems to like him a lot, but can you trust the Rams backfield? Also time to get Dak Prescott back in the starting saddle. Can’t have Matthew Stafford carving up your team. Timmy would like CeeDee to eat up all of Dak’s passing attempts. Also Cole Kmet isn’t going to throw up a dud again. The Bears are going up against the Chargers.

TEAMS ON A BYE: None (For Some Reason)

STANDINGS

  • Tim Bove stays undefeated by the skin of his teeth. 
  • There is currently a three way tie for second place
    • Gabe is in second, I am in third and Eric is in fourth.
    • Gabe beat me in week one, but I beat Eric a bit later in the season. Gabe and Eric matchup in week 10.
  • Brick has won three straight and is now in fifth place alone.
  • Huntley currently is in sixth place with the tiebreaker over Vaghi.
  • There are five teams tied at 2-5: Kenney, List, Timmy, Billy and Michaud.
    • Of these teams, ESPN says that Timmy has the best chance to make the playoffs at 20%.
  • Michaud is on both ends of the fantasy points shit stick. He has scored the fewest points of the season, and he has had the most points against him.

PUBLIC RELATIONS

“Was a good weekend for myself. Boston College gets a win. The New England patriots somehow win, and I had my best fantasy output of the season. I got a bit of revenge for Michaud winning the title last year, but still a long season to go.”

Jonathan Stanko – Manager of Look What You Made Me Koo

“Love Train steam is running low, thankfully we were railed against the lowly ‘Put Pete in the Hall’. Love Train, like the little engine that could, putters along to the next station.”

Billy Drakeley – Manager of Love Train

“The WRs really stepped up to keep the dream alive. Huge shout out to Josh Downs for a career game and matchup clinching performance.”

Timothy Bove – Manager of Participation Trophy

“Took care of LPK, now facing off vs the undefeated Bove. Monkey Boys are ready to battle.”

Matthew Vaghi – Manager of Monkey Boys

“Miracle win after an absolute dumpster fire performance out my defense and lifeless now jobless kicker Brett “Sucks” Maher. Onto the next”

Greg Brick – Manager of Derby Dumpster Fires

“We know Team LPK is no lamb so we still have to take care of business this week. We pray to God (that) T-Swift shows up on Sunday so Kelce gives that extra effort we’re looking for.”

Eric Sieracki – Manager of The Football Team

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