Movies…with a little bit of obscure culture and sports mixed in
With all these grumblings, of which there are more, I personally would adopt the Meg 2 off the back alley of terrible films. I would not recommend the movie to anyone with a normal taste pallet for entertainment, but if you are the type who loves to point out the mistakes and soak in the mud, then maybe Meg 2: The Trench is for you.
“A research team encounters multiple threats while exploring the depths of the ocean, including a malevolent mining operation.”
Director: Ben Wheatley
Writers: Jon Hoeber, Erich Hoeber, Dean Georgaris
Staring: Jason Statham, Jing Wu, Shuya Sophia Cai, Cliff Curtis, Page Kennedy, Sergio Peris-Mencheta, Skyler Samuels, Melissanthi
Mahut
Release Date: August 4, 2023
IMDB
The creature feature crew is back. Back in April, Emma and I went on vacation with some friends and every night we watched creature features. We tackled Crawl (2019), Anaconda (1997) and of course, The Meg (2018). A few weeks ago we all got together again, made pizza, and sat down on the couch to watch Meg 2: The Trench.
The majority of the cast from the original crew is back. Jonas Taylor (Jason Statham) is working with Mac (Cliff Curtis), and together they are partnered with Jiuming Zhang (Jing Wu). Zhang has been pioneering a massive scientific mission which includes, but is not limited to, training Megalodons.
Zhang and Taylor lead an exploratory mission down to the trench, and sneaking her way onto the submarine is Meiying (Shuya Sophia Cai). She wants to follow in her dead mother’s footsteps and be an explorer. Jonas is none too happy about it, and his fears are made reality when the heroes of our story discover a mysterious facility in the trench.
Turns out that the philanthropic company that has been funding the scientific work is not the most moral organization. A woman by the name of Driscoll (Sienna Guillory) is running her own side operation, and she has in her employment a bad man by the name of Montes (Sergio Peris-Mencheta). Montes and Jones become natural opposing foes as the Meg 2 blossoms into an out of control action movie bonanza.
Jonas, Jiuming and Meiying become trapped in the trench along with a few other submarine divers. The stranded mech-wearing divers (yes, there are mech suits) have to rely on Mac and recognizable face DJ (Page Kennedy) to get back to the surface. There is also a young scientist working in the control center called Jess (Skyler Samuels), and lets just say we’d rather have Ruby Rose in that position.
Meg 2: The Trench ends with a truly out-of-this-world outrageous climax. Jonas Taylor is performing his own X-Games on a jetski all while saving lives and killing megalodons. Taylor swaps passes the baton to Jiuming Zhang for a few action set pieces, but really it is the sass one-liner delivering baldie who saves the day.
So, where to begin? There is so much bad, it is too much to talk about. Let’s start with the big picture.
Meg 2 forgets the most important thing. The audience is watching for the shark. The audience is watching for the Megladon. The Meg 2 no longer puts the shark, and its evocation of fear and dread, at the forefront of the movie. They even put a leash on the swimming dinosaur. The concept of taming the untamable is an intriguing one, but when we don’t see any of the work that went into it…well that is just boring as all hell.
There is absolutely nothing terrifying about this sequel. Was the 2018 original a horror movie? No, not by any means. But were we the most excited when the shark was winning? Oh hell yea. Meg 2 thinks that the viewer wants to root for the human heroes, and that is its fatal flaw. Sure, Jason Statham is a great action hero, but any movie sucks when there are no stakes and the whole thing stinks of a poor party charade.
Then there is the squid. The giant squid that NONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS DIRECTLY MENTION?? This climax-only add-on wreaks havoc on the party-goers on Fun Island, yet this movie would have been a bit more coherent if the multi-tentacled being was never brought into being.
In all honesty, Meg 2 plays out as if it was devised by a child playing with action figures. You have your heroes all banding together to take on an enemy that is undefined and very malleable. Our heroes are never in true trouble, and they always have enough weaponry, environmental aid and super-hero ability to get them through any hardship. Perhaps the writers of Meg 2 were used to one big bad action figure, but then Christmas delivered the giant squid, and they couldn’t leave the new toy behind.
Meg 2: The Trench has a lot of problems. Problems with acting choices, story arcs or visionary imagination are all forgivable because they are choices made in an effort to make the movie good in the filmmaker’s eyes.
Continuity errors, those are a different story. Those are mistakes that are rather indefensible. The Meg 2: The Trench has more continuity errors than can be counted, and that’s tough seeing how there should be no discernible mistakes to the lament viewer’s eyes.
There is laziness in the editing and filmmaking process. Then there is laziness in the writing process. See Game Of Thrones season eight as a prime example. The concept of traveling large distances in a blink of an eye. Or even better, characters jumping from place-to-place with no rhyme or reason. This will be the only time I may say this, but Meg 2 and Game Of Thrones share some of these silly mistakes.
For a movie to have so many errors, one would have to think that it was made by someone who is new to major motion filmmaking. Right? Wrong. Ben Wheatley directed Meg 2: The Trench because HE WANTED TO. He seeked it out because he loved The Meg. Unfortunately he created an ugly stepchild that is worthy of a Spartan-esq kick to the curb.
The one thing that Wheatley does incredibly well is throw in homages to different monster franchises. There are direct references to Jaws as well more opaque references to Jurassic Park. It is nice for Wheatley to touch upon those films that inspired him, even if the attempts are slightly misguided.
Now Wheatley may have directed the movie, but he didn’t write it. That esteemed honor goes to the trio of Jon Hoeber, Erich Hoeber, and Dean Georgaris. I have some gripes to pick with you fine fellas.
I have questions. Lots of questions. Here are a few.
The writing in Meg 2 reminds me a lot of a bad stand-up comedian who is trying to salvage a set by ramping up the ridiculousness. The writers are doubling down. They are adding in comedy gags, ginormous monsters and puppy dogs. The playful tone of the movie is a choice right from the get-go and by the end it’s a confounding open mic night adventure where everyone tells the story of the comedian, but not actually what the comedian said.
With all these grumblings, of which there are more, I personally would adopt the Meg 2 off the back alley of terrible films. I would not recommend the movie to anyone with a normal taste pallet for entertainment, but if you are the type who loves to point out the mistakes and soak in the mud, then maybe Meg 2: The Trench is for you.
But I do have to warn you. Meg 2: The Trench is a terrible movie. It is so bad, I don’t want to see a potential Meg 3. I am good. I don’t need it.
But I still had a great time watching Meg 2: The Trench. I know, it is a twisted web of emotion of subjective preferences.
If you choose to delve into the deep, Meg 2: The Trench is streaming on MAX.
STANKO RATING: D-
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