PREAMBLE

For those Barstool fans, I am currently recording the simulation of the Madden game that then gets put into the Pro Football Football Show for the Jerry’s Edits segment which Jerry does not actually edit and it is actually edited by a random person in Florida.

That is how my day is going thus far as I am typing this.

Week seven of the NFL season starts tomorrow and there are a lot of things up in the air. We have six teams on a bye. But wait, Roger, why did we have two teams last week, but six teams this week? Can you address this in why you got an extension from the NFL despite having a crooked eye toward the Brady Patriots last decade? HMMM????

I don’t like Roger. Also I don’t like Chris Mortenson. Maybe a hot take, but he started the (proven to be false) deflategate report. 

I am in a bad mood, so I don’t have much to say about this league. The man is beating me down. But I am not as down bad as Huntley is. Brother, this season has been a impolite slap in face to your drafting and managerial prowess.

Let’s get after it.

WEEK 6 SCOREBOARD

  • Really an ugly matchup between Billy and I this past week. I am ecstatic that I should no longer need to play Cam Akers against this season. But my pickup of Kenneth Gainwell is starting to look like a huge bust. D’Andre Swift and A.J. Brown are both doing well from an Eagles standpoint for me, but nothing is making me happier than Cooper Kupp being his anticipated self.
    • Billy has been dealt a tough deck. He had to put in Joshua Dobbs in at quarterback who has averaged 9.42 over the last two weeks and he has three weeks this season with 10.1 points or less. Billy’s running backs combined for 14.3 points, which is yikes, but he had no other running back on his roster. The Kansas City D/ST was his best scoring position.
  • Bove improves to 6-0 with a dominant win over Jack List. The 42.54 points was the largest margin of victory in week six. Having Raheem Mostert helps Bove elevate to the lone position in first place. Mostert is the RB2 in all of fantasy. I heard a great stat that the Miami Dolphins running backs are averaging more yards per carry than Patrick Mahomes’ average yards per attempt.
    • Jack List scored the least amount of points this week. Never would have thought that Davante Adams and Deebo Samuel would combine for 6.0 points. Jack does have two open bench spots though. He can get frisky adding free agents for this week. May need running backs if Zack Moss finally gives way to Jonathan Taylor and if Emari Demercado tosses up another stinker.
  • Tua Tagovailoa, Kyren Williams and Stefon Diggs all scored over 20 points for Kenney, and that proved to be enough to take down the previously undefeated Gabe Lizarazo. Sure, maybe Gabe was hurt a bit by Khalil Herbert being out, but otherwise it was just a depressing outing from the squad. Justin Tucker was Gabe’s highest scorer with 18.0 points.
    • Michael Keney may be thanking the stars that Christian McCaffrey got hurt. We never want injuries, but Michael benefited from this. Now Kyren Williams (I saw this in a tweet) is in a walking boot and riding a scooter at practice, so that may be something that needs to be taken into account for the upcoming week.
  • Michaud was hoping for a Monday night miracle with Austin Ekeler, but he simply did not get it. Ekeler put up only 10.2 points, which was nearly 10 points below his projected total. If he had a 20+ point day against Dallas Michaud would have been able to get back in the win column.
    • Greg Brick had to be ecstatic on Monday. He gets the Dallas win and he gets the fantasy win. All in one fell swoop. He chose not to have Dak Prescott start on his team, and maybe he took it as a wakeup call with his season-best 24.88 point effort. Brick also needs to be loving Travis Etienne Jr. throwing up some monster efforts in London. Now the Jaguars are back across the pond so we will see if he can keep it up.
  • Timmy Drakeley was hoping that getting Keenan Allen back from his bye week would rejuvenate his team. Allen did his job with 21.5 points, but nobody else seems to have gotten the memo. The only other double-digit performers on his team were both Cowboys; Tony Pollard with 17.0 points and CeeDee Lamb with 18.7 points.
    • Vaghi was able to become part of the 2-4 crowd despite his quarterback getting hurt. Justin Fields left the game early for the Bears, but a different NFC north player picked up the slack. Amon-Ra St. Brown scored 30.4 points as the Detroit Lions took care of business against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. For the first time this year Vaghi led the league in wide receiver points.
  • Wowza. What a matchup. It came down to Monday night, and the drama lasted till the very end. The margin of victory for Eric was 1.66 points, and he outscored Anderw by two points on Monday night. Came down to the very end. Eric got eight points from Brandon Aubrey out of the kicking position, and Andrew got six points from the Dallas defense. Just not enough.
    • Huntley and Eric had the two highest projection totals coming into the matchup, and it lived up to the billing. Even if they didn’t reach the benchmarks. I mean, these two teams even ranked first and third in points scored on the bench too. Just points galore, but only one can come away the victor.

WEEK 6 ANALYTICS

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  • There were only two teams that outperformed the computer projections: Bove was +2.12 and Vaghi was +0.72. 
  • I hate to beat a dead horse, but Huntley got fucked again. The best 3-3 team in the league, by far.
    • Huntley had the third most points in his roster and ended up with the best combined team score for the week.
    • Huntley is 3-3 despite averaging the most points per match, 132.43.
  • Weird little anomaly that the six teams that won this week had the top six highest scoring player/position of the week?
  • Gabe set a new league best in the kicking category; Justin Tucker at 18.0 points to set the new benchmark.
  • Billy’s rank over the first three weeks for his Full Team Points averaged out to 2.3sh. Over the last three weeks it has sunk to 9.3sh.
  • The only week where Billy has finished top half in running back points was week three. That is also the only week he has a win this season.
  • Eric has never ranked lower than 5th in terms of Tight End Points per week. Helps having Travis Kelce on your team.
  • Gabe suffers his first defeat of the season due in large part to his wide receivers scoring 16.7 points combined.
  • Kenney ranked ninth in Full Team Points over the first three weeks. In weeks four through six, Kenney ranked third in Full Team Points.
  • Vaghi has two wins this season in weeks two and six. In both week two and week six, Vaghi ranked fourth in terms of Points Scored for the week.
  • Michaud has the worst average rank in six different categories, including Points Scored. But Michaud’s average point total in each category is basement level only in wide receiver points and tight end points.

ADDITIONAL WEEK 6 STATISTICS

Margin Of Victory By Week
  • Week 1: 35.96
  • Week 2: 25.74
  • Week 3: 25.97
  • Week 4: 27.31
  • Week 5: 48.05
  • Week 6: 18.00
  • Average Margin Of Victory This Season Is 30.17
TOP Six WEEKLY TOTAL
  • 126.08 – Bove
  • 119.56 – Eric
  • 117.9 – Huntley
  • 116.62 – Vaghi
  • 114.84 – Brick
  • 113.72 – Stanko
LOWEST Six WEEKLY TOTAL
  • 83.54 – List
  • 93.40 – Billy
  • 96.54 – Timmy
  • 97.56 – Gabe
  • 103.64 – Michaud
  • 109.78 – Kenney
Average Team Totals Per Week
  • Week One: 101.19
  • Week Two: 117.54
  • Week Three: 120.95
  • Week Four: 118.77
  • Week Five: 118.61
  • Week Six: 107.77
  • Average Team Total This Season Is 114.138

WEEK 7 MATCHUPS

  • There are two big games in Michaud and I’s matchup. Justin is hoping for a high scoring Chief and Charger affair so Patrick Mahomes and Austin Ekeler can put up monster numbers. Then there is the Eagles and Dolphins game; Michaud has DeVonta Smith and I have D’Andre Swift, A.J. Brown, the Dolphins defense/ST and Jason Sanders.
  • Tough sledding for Jack. He may need to rely on Russell Wilson but he will have Aaron Jones for the Packers. Also, will he pick up a kicker? Billy has Jordan Love starting as of now, which means that it will be a quarterback showdown at mile high. Will Billy make it a stack with Doubs just to raise the blood pressure.
  • A battle of the top two teams in the league. Gabe is coming off the first loss of the season, so he has to be hoping that CMC is back. However, with two weeks before a bye…with SF just sit McCaffrey till week 10 after the bye? Bove wants to remain undefeated, but he will have a tough hill to climb. Missing two starters, it looks like Josh Downs is getting the callup as well as Michael Pittman Jr. Bove pulling hard for the Colts.
  • Vaghi may have three quarterbacks on his roster, all of whom may not be active for week seven; Justin Fields, Deshaun Watson and Kyler Murray. Gotta think the running back position is going to be crucial this week. Kenney has had top four RB production the last three weeks while Vaghi has only finished in the top half once in week two. Vaghi has to try and even that out.
  • Huntley not having Ja’Marr Chase, Breece Hall or Cowboys D/ST is tough, yet he is still projected to take down Greg in fairly easy fashion. There will be a Dolphin wide receiver battle with Huntley having Waddle and Greg having Tyreek. Also Chris Olave putting up numbers for Brick would really put a dent in the Jaguars D/ST pickup by Huntley.
  • Is Josh Allen really questionable? I don’t believe it. He is going to play. But it may not matter because Eric’s Buffalo defense is going to score 25000 points against the Patriots. Timmy is trying to make a move in the right direction because four of the six weeks he has ranked 10th or lower in points scored. However, in weeks two and three, he ranked second and third, respectively. 

TEAMS ON A BYE: Carolina Panthers, Houston Texans, Tennessee Titans, New York Jets, Dallas Cowboys, Cincinnati Bengals

STANDINGS

  • Bove is still the top dawg and it is justified seeing how he has the second most points.
  • Huntley sits in fifth place but has the most points scored in the league.
  • Vaghi also kinda fucked, but not the same extend as Huntley. Vaghi has the third most points but sits in seventh.
    • Vaghi has had the most points scored against him.
  • There is a massive log jam of 2-4 teams, led by Vaghi and anchored by Michaud.
  • I will be honest, I did not know I was the second most fortunate in terms of points scored against.
  • Yea, you are looking at the right. The top four teams in the league are the four teams that have had the fewest points scored against him.

PUBLIC RELATIONS

Anytime a top dog goes down you’ve got to feel good. Don’t want to jinx myself but perhaps the team is finding a groove.”

Michael Kenney – Manager of Sad LPK

“The team didn’t fall for the possible trap game and continue to put the pedal to the metal. We have to keep that focus for this week’s matchup against Gabe and the Trip Sitters.”

Timothy Bove – Manager of Participation Trophy

“Despite continued desertion from the Tight end slot , my team showed they can swim through the shit to keep the dumpster fire lit, great team win.”

Greg Brick – Manger of Derby Dumpster Fires

“It wasn’t a pretty win, but you take what you can get. Cooper Kupp arriving late on the scene as the dependable WR1 has been a huge boost of morale to the squad. 

This week I match up Michaud in a rematch of last year’s title game. I put money in his children’s mouths last year. This time around, I am not feeling so generous.”

Jonathan Stanko – Manager of Look What You Made Me Koo

“Monkey Boys unexpected victory this past week with Fields injury. Good to see Rhamondre showing some life out there. Ready to square off vs LPK in the battle of the many 2-4 teams log jammed in the standings.”

Matthew Vaghi – Manager of Monkey Boys

“Thielen keeps turning back the clock and continues to put up big numbers for us week after week. Kelce won’t shut up about all the punnani he’s getting but it’s creating great team chemistry…Vibes are high and spirits are higher.”

Eric Sieracki – Manager of The Football Team

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