Hello Oak Hills, good to see you again. It’s been a week since our last endevour. Time to see if we can do any better this time around.

HOLE 1
PAR 4 | 374 YARDS

I am playing with three random strangers and all of them have asked about my Iona bag before we have even teed off. No, I did not play for the team. Wait till you see me play.

Now with that being said, I absolutely pipe my first drive. Taking some fantastic advice from Eric on my cousin’s bachelor party, I have moved the ball forward in my stance a bit and I have migrated my thumb more over the top to prevent roll over. Dare I say, it is working? At least here on the first hole.

I had a 141 approach shot, but I miss the green because I am just one club short. A downhill view led me to pick an eight iron, but I needed a seven.

I end up in the rough short left of the green. I take out my sand wedge (which I had been practicing with on the putting green), and I stick my ball to a tap-in distance for par. I mean holy shit. I got the fellas in this group saying “great save” to me, meanwhile I am asking where I found the ability to do that.

SCORE: 4 (1 Putt)
Handicap: 3
Score Overall: 4 (E)

HOLE 2
PAR 4 | 295 YARDS

Short par four. I hit a five iron off the tee box and I hit it…wonderfully? Throwing darts early on? My five iron went about 150 yards, leaving me about 128 to the pin. I hit (if I remember) a seven iron to the uphill green.


The contact is good and the green feels tingly. But I am worried I am very far away from the hole. However, it turns out that I am off the green, but I am pin high. I have an uphill putt from the fringe…and a second straight hole with a tap-in par?

Are we playing some real golf right now??

SCORE: 4 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 9
Score Overall: 8 (E)

HOLE 3
PAR 3 | 93 YARDS

I have said it once, I have said it a thousand times. I fucking hate this hole. Much like the last time I played it with my dad, I took out my sand wedge hoping for a soft little light flop like shot. 

Again, for the 1000th time, I hit my sand wedge thinner than a drawn on eye lash. My ball goes careening toward the shit in the back of the green. Kathy (lovely lady) finds my ball, but maybe I wish she hadn’t. It is fucking buried.

I punch the ball out and it is now on the fringe of the back portion of the green while the flag is in the front of the green BECAUSE IT ALWAYS IS!

Chip down there, two putt, and it is a double-bogey five.

SCORE: 5 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 17
Score Overall: 13 (+2)

HOLE 4
PAR 4 | 307 YARDS

For the first time ever on this hole, I did not hit the driver. Knowing how well I hit my five iron on the second hole, I decide that it is time to take it out again. With this shot being a bit downhill, I hot my five iron about 160sh, leaving me about 122 to the pin according to the GPS. With the uphill approach staring me in the face, I take out my eight iron and I fucking stick it on the green about 25 freet from the hole.

We do not worry about proximity to the hole here at Stanko’s Stance. We just want to be dancing.

My birdie putt is not very good. It is in fact, very poor. I leave myself about six feet for par…BUT I DRILL IT.

Ladies and gentleman, we are playing some golf right now! That is three pars in the first four holes!

SCORE: 4 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 5
Score Overall: 17 (+2)

HOLE 5
PAR 3 | 145 YARDS

Whoever is in charge of putting the tee boxes out, I want to thank them for bringing the white tees thirty yards closer to the pin than they usually are. Most of the times I have played this hole it is a 175 yard shot, but this time around it is a 145 yard shot.

I take out my six iron because, why not?

I do not hit this shot clean at all, and I am saying “Water” before it is even halfway in flight. Luckily for me, my ball decides to stay dry by about two feet. Phew!

When I played this hole with my dad last time out, I had four chips. It was a disaster. Just terrible. Abysmal. 

This time, it takes only two chips for me to get on the green, and then I two-putt. It is another double-bogey five on a par three.

So my round this far has three pars on par fours, but double-bogeys on the par fours. Gross.

SCORE: 5 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 15
Score Overall: 22 (+4)

HOLE 6
PAR 4 | 284 YARDS

Wanted to be smart on this hole, so I hit my five iron off the tee hoping to leave myself about a 140 yard approach shot. My tee shot never gets more than 10 feet off the ground, but it does manage to get across the man-made lake, but it ends up in the left side super-shit near the rocks.

I need to take my pitching wedge and chip out of the shit. I get myself to about a 120 yard approach shot. I took my medicine, and now I need to swallow it effectively. I take out my eight iron and I stick my third shot on the back of the green. While it is not a green in regulation, I got myself a chance at par…granted it’s like a 40 foot putt downhill. I manage a two-putt and a bogey five. We love this recovery.

SCORE: 5 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 13
Score Overall: 27 (+5)

HOLE 7
PAR 4 | 336 YARDS

So begins a very tough stretch for myself.

I still have Eric’s advice about the tee box ringing through my head, and at this point I am starting to overthink it. I put the ball too far in front of me, or I am overlapping my thumb too much. It is a mess inside my brain.

My drive on this hole goes maybe about 50 yards straight into a hill and I don’t even reach the fairway. It is a wormburner and I am hitting my second shot from behind the ladies tees.

Now, credit to myself, I recovered fantastically and I hit a five iron wonderfully and gave myself a pitch and putt opportunity. On a downhill slope  I think I put my shot exactly where I want…but turns out I am not good at this whole golf strategy thing. My shot ends up rolling past the hole and onto the fringe on the back right. I still manage a two-putt from there, and it is another bogey five added to my score card. I am doing a very good job and limiting the damage.

SCORE: 5 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 7
Score Overall: 32 (+6)

HOLE 8
PAR 5 | 484 YARDS

Well, one can only limit the damage for so long.

Much like the seventh hole, my drive goes nowhere. This time it goes into the woods directly to the right of the ladies tee box. 

My third shot is from the ladies tee box, so now I am about 280 yards away from the hole hitting my fourth shot. I hit a very good five iron to get me within striking distance of the green. I am thinking, all I need is a good shot and a one-putt. Can I make it happen? Absolutely not.

The final stroke count for myself on hole eight…is nine. Yea, a nine. There is a bad approach shot, then a couple chips, then a couple putts.

I will admit, my dreams of shooting below a 90 are dashed with this nine on my scorecard. Now I just need to salvage it. I need a good bounceback hole.

SCORE: 9 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 11
Score Overall: 41 (+10)

HOLE 9
PAR 4 | 440 YARDS

The longest par four on the course, and possibly the hardest par four on the course. This time around I did not hit a good straight drive. I end up on the right side roughly 240 yards away from the pin. I did come somewhat close to hitting some golfers on the eighth hole. I should have yelled fore. But I didn’t. Whoops. They gave a friendly wave and I acknowledged my mistake.

With my second shot I tried to get close to the green with my three iron hybrid. That was ill advised. It was very ill advised. My shot started out veering left and I did not hit it well at all. It is a chunky slicing shot. I end up 93 yards away from the green in the left side rough. I do a bit of a pitch and catch to get my ball onto the green for a par putt, but I am legit as far from the hole as you can get.

I had been trying to avoid three putts all day, but this is my first one. It is a double-bogey four. I need to rebound, and I need it bad.

SCORE: 6 (3 Putts)
Handicap: 1
Score Overall: 47 (+12)

HOLE 10
PAR 5 | 528 YARDS

Seeing how I am walking the course, I buy myself some gatorades and I allow myself to use the restroom. Now I am ready to begin the back nine.

My drive ends up on the left side of the fairway in the rough, but I am not on the ninth hole fairway, which has been the case before. I still have a MILE to go to the hole. About 325 yards, so I am going to do back-to-back five irons. I am not taking out my three iron hybrid after the bad shot I had on the ninth.

My second shot…is perfect? It is exactly what I wanted to do. I naturally have a bit of a slice on the ball, so I aim to the right side and the ball ends up in the middle of the fairway. I am about 150 yards away, so five iron it is again.

I hit a real golf shot. One with a bit of a fade, and one that ends up about 15 feet from the hole. I am on the right side of the green and I have an uphill putt for birdie.

So you’re telling me that I hit this green in regulation? Yup, that is the first time that has ever happened.

I miss the birdie putt by inches, and it is a tap in par. Really a very good hole for myself. Maybe the proudest I am all round.

SCORE: 5 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 4
Score Overall: 52 (+12)

HOLE 11
PAR 4 | 365 YARDS

It’s my favorite hole on the course, and I just royally mess it up. And I really only mess it up with one club. The putter.

I set up for a banana hook off the tee box, but I hit it straight. Am I going to be upset about missing this fairway that I have hit fairly consistently? Yes. Is it fair to myself? No. 

So I have 183 yards to the hole. Which is a lot. But again I take out my trusty five iron and because it is so downhill, I just let it rip and hope for the best. I hit this one a little thin, but that means it is low and it is going to roll. Ladies and gentleman, that results in a GIR.

I am still about 20 yards from the hole and the lower tier of a two-tier green, but I will always enjoy being able to check that “green in regulation” off on my bingo card.

It is a three putt from about 60 feet away, but that is something I should have expected seeing how far away I was and how difficult this green is. It is not easy.

SCORE: 5 (3 Putts)
Handicap: 10
Score Overall: 57 (+13)

HOLE 12
PAR 5 | 501 YARDS

This par five really sneaks up on you. Just stay right and good things can happen.

I hit my drive into the fairway and I do my best to take this hole as slowly as possible. I have well over 250 yards left to the hole so I do not try and force the issue. Or at least that is what I tell myself.

I take my three iron hybrid out and wail on the ball. I hit a good shot! It is only slighly fading to the left. I am going to be in play, and that is all I really care about on par fives.

Because the game of golf is a cruel misteress, my ball lands straight in a bunker. Splash. Sploosh. Beautifual. Grand. 

I am 93 yards away from the hole so I just take my pitching wedge and I hit it out of the bunker as clean as I could. I end up short of the green. Fine. I got the ball out, and that’s huge in itself.

From there it is a chip and a two-putt for a bogey.

SCORE: 6 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 8
Score Overall: 63 (+14)

HOLE 13
PAR 3 | 154 YARDS

I need to stop making it a habit of needing to hit through the trees and rocks to give myself a putt. For the second straight round, I hit my iron shot off the tee way left, and I end up in the shit needing to carry a pride rock-esq structure in order to even have a look at it. 

This time around my ball is about 10 yards further than last, so the gap I have is not as wide. I decide that it is best to just aim for the widest opening, and hope my ball lands on the green. Amazingly, I do get my ball on the green. It is a blind shot, so I go looking for where my ball landed. It ended up on the bottom tier of the green, and naturally the hole is on the top tier.

I record my second three-putt in three holes, and write down a double-bogey five.

Part of me is upset that I double-bogey it, but part of me is also happy that I didn’t have any penalty strokes and I really did the best I could from where my tee shot went.

The most distressing thing is that I lost my GPS watch on this hole. Don’t know how, don’t know when. But I had it on the par five, and then lost it here. It is going to be a birthday present to myself.

SCORE: 5 (3 Putts)
Handicap: 18
Score Overall: 68 (+16)

HOLE 14
PAR 4 | 386 YARDS

Aye kurumba. Nothing positive about this hole.

My five iron does not go very far at all. It is like a five iron flop shot.

I don’t even put my five iron back in my back. I just carry it in my hands as I approach my ball. It is a sad thing to realize that I have never hit the fairway on this hole. So the streak continues.

My second five iron gets me 93 yards away from the hole. Time to take out the trusty pitching wedge. I strike it clean as a whistle, but I tug it down the first base line. I find myself in one of my least favorite positions. I am at the bottom of a hill needing to hit a soft lofted shot to get it on the green for a chance to putt.

My fourth, and my fifth shot are from the rough. My first chip attempt is short of the green and it rolls slightly back down towards me. The ball is just taunting me with things I can’t do. I eventually get on the green and two-putt it for a triple-bogey seven.

SCORE: 7 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 2
Score Overall: 75 (+19)

HOLE 15
PAR 3 | 185 YARDS

Sometimes it is better to be lucky than good. I hit my five iron knowing that I would be short. I would be okay with that. However, off the tee box, I was very worried that my ball was going to land directly in the bunker. It was heading right for it, as is one of my playing partner’s balls. I thought we would be beaching together on the left side.

By the grace of the golf gods, my ball lands directly between the two bunkers. I have a chip that I think I placed perfectly on the green. However, the false front on the front right side of the green eats up my ball and suddenly I am deep down on the fairway with a 10 foot uphill putt.

The last time I played this hole I three putted from this near exact spot. This time I learned my lesson and hit it hard enough to get up the hill. Therefore it is a two-putt bogey.

This is the best score I have had on hole 15 since April of this year.

SCORE: 4 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 8
Score Overall: 79 (+20)

HOLE 16
PAR 4 | 342 YARDS

I made hole 16 much more of a mess than it could have been. My drive, which had been operating with very minimal banana hook tendencies, decided that it wanted to become a banana split again.

My ball is in the trees on the left hand side. Admittedly, I move my ball off of a root so I don’t break my wrist, and I have to pitch out into the fairway.

My third shot is a 120 yard shot uphill. The steep incline onto the raised green eats my ball and I have to chip with my fourth shot onto the green. From there it is a two putt and a double-bogey six. Hitting the ball into the thicket of the tee box set myself up for a lot of trouble. Can’t be angry at this score with what happened.

SCORE: 6 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 6
Score Overall: 85 (+22)

HOLE 17
PAR 4 | 336 YARDS

Let’s go!!! A clean par!!!

This was clinical on my part. I hit a great drive that rolls off the fairway on the left hand side, but I have less than 100 yards into the green. I take out my pitching wedge…and I just nail it. Bam. On the green. 

Proximity to the hole? Who says that is important? Not me right now.

I two-putt and have just a one-footer for par. I thought I really made the putt, but I left it short because I am a baby with the putter.

Still. A par. Somehow my first ever par on this hole.

SCORE: 4 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 14
Score Overall: 89 (+22)

HOLE 18
PAR 4 | 300 YARDS

I have played it smart all round long (for the most part), so I am going to keep with that trend here on the last hole.

I again take out my trusty five iron and I put myself on the left side of the fairway about 138 yards away from the hole. It really is a wonderful thing to have a clean shot at a green. With the shot being slightly uphill, I take out my seven iron but I am tossing about which club to go with all the way up to my swing.

Turns out I should have gone with the six iron.

I end up short of the green, in the rough on a slight downhill lie about five yards short of the green. I take out my chipping weapon, praying that I could get it onto the green for a par putt. Unfortunately, I hit a bit of a duff chip and I left myself on the fringe with about a 15 foot putt for par. From there it is a two-putt, and I end my round with a bogey. Still not horrendous by any means, but what coulda been.

SCORE: 5 (2 Putts)
Handicap: 16
Score Overall: 94 (+23)

NOTABLE OBSERVATIONS FROM THE STATS
  • I am only averaging less than two putts on two holes: the par four sixth hole and the par four 17th hole.
  • I have hit the second fairway the most out of any since I have been tracking. I have hit it the last five times I have played.
  • There are three fairways that I have not hit before.
    • The par five 10th hole, the par four 14th and the par 4 16th.
  • I have hit the green in regulation the most on the par four fourth hole.
  • There is a five hole stretch on the back nine where I have never hit the green in regulation; holes 12 through 16.
  • The eighth hole has been my most difficult hole. I am averaging over seven strokes on the hole, and the nine I got this round doesn’t help.

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