So can we be honest here? This episode of The Bachelorette was bad. It dragged. It had no drama at all. We all knew who was going home right from the jump. The two-on-one date was utterly pointless and this is the first time this season where I felt Charity was at the whim of the producers in terms of her rose distribution.

Not every episode can be a winner, and this one was the biggest loser thus far. Regardless. Let’s hop into it. My heart isn’t in this one because nothing earth shattering happened at all.

But we move forward!

PREAMBLE

So we are in New Orleans now. Not much if any international travel coming up for this season? I can’t say I noticed any in the previews, and next week is hometowns. 

Wait, NEXT WEEK IS FUCKING HOMETOWNS?? Fuck this season is moving fast. We are only one episode ahead of the pace from Zach’s season of The Bachelor, but it feels so much faster. 

So New Orleans is the former hometown of Aaron B., even though he lives in San Diego now. At the start of this episode, Joey, Sean and Tanner have not had a one-on-one date yet. Aaron B. has not had one in a long time so he is stressing too.

Tensions are high.

JOEY ONE-ON-ONE DATE

  • So after the fellas have a coffee at Cafe Beignet and talk over their stresses, Charity arrives to amplify the situation.
    • She talks and then announces that she is going to be taking someone on a one-on-one date.
      • The carriage comes up…and it is NOT Aaron B. going on this date. No way. Sorry fella.
        • We get a Joey one-on-one date! Rejoice!
  • Joey has killed it in every group date setting and during every cocktail party, so now he gets a chance to shine in the show’s more intimate setting.
  • It is a mule that is pulling the cart, not a horse, right? Never really heard of a mule drawn carriage but we will embrace it.
  • Charity and Joey are sharing loving looks at each other as they are taking in the city and its sights.
    • Did not know that Charity is a fan of architecture, and Joey is right to say that she is too smart for him.
      • She is probably too smart for most people on this show.
  • There is the street poet that they sit down with and he creates a poem for the love birds. They just start making out in front of him and that is really awkward.
    • I would be willing to bet that the poet had inside information before Joey and Charity stopped by.
    • It is a strong skill to have the confidence to write words like that on the cuff. I consider myself better than average with words but I am not that confident in myself.
  • During the dinner portion of the date, Charity brings on the real and important question.
    • She asks about Joey’s feelings in interracial relationships, and that is tag-teamed with the idea of hometown dates.
      • Charity brings up the fact that she had an interracial relationship before and her partner was not supportive enough for her liking. How will Joey respond?
        • Joey is honest. Joey admits that he doesn’t know. Joey admits that he would have to learn about it. He says that he has faith regarding his family and that they know that love is love.
        • I really appreciate that Joey is honest here. He knows what he doesn’t know, and that is an important thing for people to understand about themselves.
        • The JOEY ASKS IF SHE NEEDS A HUG!
          • Emma can not love this man anymore. I see her smitten on the other couch.
    • Joey offers the first “falling in love” with you on the journey. Charity loves to hear it.
  • This whole date made Joey an outstanding Bachelor contestant. He was good on the date. He listened, he was honest, he was complimentary and he was humble.

TWO-ON-ONE…WITH NO BITE

*I had misremembered Clayton and Colton’s seasons, so appreciate Reddit for keeping me honest.

  • It is time for a two-on-one date. But this is a really fucking weird two two-on-one date.
  • Sean and Tanner are on this date in the Bayou. Neither of these men have animosity for each other, which is usually how these dates are framed.
    • This is a change of pace, but it may not be a good one? 
    • Frankly, this date was very boring.
  • You remember the two-on-one date between Genevieve and Shanae on Clayton’s season?*
    • Do you remember when Shanae convinced Clayton to ask Genevieve if she was an actress directly to her face?
      • What a wild move. What a wild, wild, moment.
  • Credit to the EW article writer Kristen Baldwin for remembering the two-on-one date between Taylor and Corinne on Nick’s season. This is a throwback clip to watch.
    • Corinne was a magnet for content and the camera.
  • Tanner is not excited about this date, but Sean is pissed about it. He is talking about not being validated. So it begins. This is the downfall of Sean.
    • For the record, I also don’t think that Tanner stands a shot to make it either, which makes this two-on-one an interesting one.
  • This is where we can meet Captain Tom! And we love fucking Tom!
    • The best part of this date is Captain Tom’s commentary.
      • He asks how this two-on-one date works, and then he comments at the end that he does feel that Charity is leaning towards one man rather than the other.
  • Captain Tom is leading the three of them on a boat in the bayou where they get to gaze on the beautiful sights of alligators.
    • These swamp rides where you see this dinosaur creatures are the fucking best. Emma and I do one every time we go down to Florida, and it is worth it every single time. The gators are so cool to look at.
  • After the boat ride, Charity holds court at a picnic table full of crawfish. Charity mentions that she will see them both tonight for the dinner portion of the date.
    • Sean is a smooth sailor as he sweeps into Charity’s interview post picnic and kisses her.
      • Charity seems to find it very sweet.
  • We can all agree that Sean is leading the clubhouse at the moment. Tanner is a quiet man, and he is in trouble.
  • According to the EW recap I read, Sean’s dad was a former New York State Assemblyman and he is very political.
    • It is an instance where this reporter showed a bit of her political leanings.
  • Alright so let’s get to this dinner portion of the date.
    • Sean does his normal smoothing over. Be is frustrated but he is playing it off well.
    • Tanner talks with Charity and he finally opens up. He confesses he has his walls up.
      • He cites his reason being that a former relationship ended after one small argument when his partner moved to a different stats.
        • There seems to be more to this story. I want to see the uncut.
    • This is where my antennas really went up for this episode.
      • CHARITY GIVES THE ROSE TO ABSOLUTELY NO ONE?? SHE PICKS IT UP AND PUTS IT DOWN??
        • What is the point of a two-on-one date if no one gets sent home and no one gets to have the small victory?
        • Tanner handles it as best he can, but Sean again is very flabbergasted. He doesn’t have much go on in terms of confidence going forward.
          • He is going to screw himself. Just watch.
  • This data had somewhat low stakes from the beginning. And this rose psych out is just another reason.

DOTUN SAVES THE ONE-ON-ONE

  • Time to make everyone angry, again! Dotun gets a second one-on-one date in as many weeks!
    • Aaron B. is angry, Sean is frustrated and Tanner seems a bit distraught.
  • Dotun and Charity are running in the Crescent City Classic 10K, which I guess is a big deal in New Orleans?
    • I do think it is safe to bet that Dotun is the tallest person in this race. He is a giant!
    • Dotun does not do cardio, or at least so it would seem. Luckily for him, there is not a ton of running happening.
    • The pair do dress up for the race and that is cute. They are in New Orleans colors and they are embracing the entire experience.
    • The one thing that really, really stuck with me about this portion of the date is that Dotun seemed so genuinely kind. The people we say him interact with all seemed very happy to meet him. And He was so god damn polite, Dotun I mean.
    • I do have to say that I would be handling this date very differently. I would have ran alone, then run back and met whomever I was dating.
    • There really isn’t much more to say about the running portion of the date because it was just wholesome and went pretty damn fast.
  • The dinner portion of the date…and we are going to be reminded that Dotun is the real deal.
    • Dotun is incredibly honest when he says that he is scared for Charity to meet his family because of past mistakes that have left scars.
      • Dotun’s ability to learn about himself, accept mistakes he has made, and make sure that Charity feels appreciated is really top tier this season. He is so genuine.
    • Charity loves everything about Dotun.
      • The moment they share about “A good thing being a good thing” is incredibly heartwarming and brings them both to tears.
  • Charity and Dotun have both a deep connection and a fun connection.They are the whole package.
  • There is not a whole lot to say on this date because it was only good things. No drama. Dotun just keeps winning and when things are good, it is hard to nick-pick.

BYE-BYE SEAN

  • Oh Sean, you fucking idiot. Here we go. We knew this was going to happen. We knew Sean was going to walk the plank with his own action.
  • Sean heads over to Charity’s room to confront her before the final group date that would contain Tanner, Aaron B. and Xavier.
    • Will Sean be joining them on that date?
      • Spoiler alert. No, he won’t be.
  • So what is Sean going to say to Charity to change her mind?
    • The answer is nothing. Absolutely nothing.
    • Sean opens up the conversation saying that he says something to say but he wants to ask how Charity is doing first.
      • Well, this kinda opened up Pandora’s box for Sean. He is not getting the reaction he was expecting.
        • Charity talks about how she needs clarity when making decisions, and she does not have that yet. She needs to be sure before agreeing to go to anyone’s hometowns.
          • Well Sean needs an answer, and he needs it NOW! Right now!
            • Sean goes full “I am falling in love with you”, and boy-oh-boy does it not work.
              • Charity sighs, and sighs hard, but Sean can not read the room at all! He has no idea that Charity is looking to get out of this room as fast as she can!
  • Long story short, Sean is being sent home. He is being sent home with his broken dreams.
    • Charity says that she can not deliver what Sean needs. Sean is there in his messy blonde hair and glasses looking all disheveled.
      • Sean will be back, in one way or another. Paradise, eventually.

FINAL GROUP DATE

  • Here we are. Three men stand, and two men are heading to home towns while one is heading home.
    • Let’s be real, we all know who is heading home here, right?
      • We all know that Tanner is going home. Let’s just see how we get there, shall we?
  • There is nothing fun planned for this group date. This is just going to be a series of one-on-one converstaions until Charity is confident with how she feels.
  • Aaron is the first to talk with Charity.He admits to having a low point (he had many), but he saves it by stating that his memories with her propelled him to continue to have faith.
  • Tanner talks with Charity and jokes about how funny it would be that their first one-on-one date would be with his family.
    • I am not entirely sure Charity will take this joke. That would ring alarm bells then generate a laugh.
    • Regardless, this is Tanner. He is a quiet guy who likes to lighten the mood. He is sticking to his guns.
  • Xavier is the last to go here, and damn does he have a great fit.
    • Do we think that he knitted this scarf himself? That would be outstanding.
    • Xavier opens up the talk with Charity talking about how he wants to be transparent.
      • This is usually a tough thing to open up with. Bad things are coming.
    • Xavier admits that it is scary committing himself to just one person forever, and he says that he has never done it before.
      • So has he never really thought about marriage before, or has he never had a relationship before?
        • Which one is it? I feel like this is kinda a big deal.
      • Charity is not taking this so well.
    • The end of their talk doesn’t really wrap up well. Xavier just keeps word vomiting. He should really stop talking…but he just doesn’t.
  • So now we are back at the outdoor area, and there are two roses on the table. Charity picks up the first and hands it to Aaron B.
    • This is not a surprise. I don’t love the guy, but his talk with Charity here was the best of the bunch.
  • Then, for the second time this episode, Charity decides that she can not make a choice when she has two men that want her staring right at her.
    • This is just dragging the episode on.
      • Sure, Xavier stepped in some dog shit when he was being honest, but brush this off. We know where this is going.
  • So now it is the dinner portion…but rather just the meet the men in their respective rooms.
    • One very important thing to notice is that for the first time in a long time, Charity is the more dressed down than the guys. We saw Joey meet Charity’s dressing effort on their one-on-one date, but Charity is going with her cape cardigan and jeans to deliver some hard news.
  • Tanner is the first room Charity stops by, and we know where this is going.
    • Tanner did nothing wrong, but Charity says goodbye. I do think that Tanner somewhat saw this coming, and I think that helps him handle it really well.
      • His final words on the show are him saying that Charity deserves the world and that she is special.
      • Tanner is a nice man. He is a normal, nice man. He will be perfectly fine in the real world.
  • Xavier is in the second room visited. Have the end the episode on a high note!
    • Xavier looks fucking nice in that blue suit.
    • Charity tries to do a bit of a swerve; she tells Xavier that she did send Tanner home…but she doesn’t need to give out the rose…but she wants to. Xavier is safe. 

(MY) POWER RANKINGS

No. 4
Aaron B.

(Last Week #4)

I still just don’t like Aaron B. too much. He is the only one of the four I couldn’t see myself being friends with in the regular world. Maybe I am wrong about him. Hope I am.

No. 3
Xavier

(Last Week #3)

Xavier really danced with the devil and created the necessary mystery in the later parts of the show, but we knew he was never in jeopardy.

No. 2
Joey

(Last Week #2)

Joey had his one-on-one date and this dude just fucking has it all. I am not the first to say it, but he is PRIMO Bachelor material.

No. 1
Dotun

(Last Week #1)

Dotun gets his second one-on-one date in a matter of weeks and he again knocks it out of the park. He handled the running part of the date much better than I would have.

The Bachelorette‘s next episode is Monday, July 24th, 2023…at 8 PM again! Huzzah!

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