As we begin this recap of week three, it is important to note that there are only 14 guys left. That is not a lot at all. Charity is kinda cleaning house, and she is doing it quietly. While Charity is being rather subdued with her decisive decision making, the men of the house are making lots of noise. You can put the majority of the blame on Brayden, and that may be deserved. But I am here to tell you that Brayden wins back points this week for me. A few…not a lot…but a few.

BRAYDEN ONE-ON-ONE DATE

  • The man who threatened to leave last week because of something that didn’t happen to him gets the one-on-one date to begin the week. Yup, that is how Charity rolls!
  • Charity comes to the mansion wearing another bright leather jacket that I am not a huge fan of. That is just me though because most of America seems to love her fashion sense.
  • CHarity pulls Brayden for the one-on-one date in front of all the guys, but not before delivering the big news that the fellas are no longer staying at the mansion. They are going to be moving their bags to Oceanside, California. Wahoo. To the coast they go.
  • Brayden gets the special treatment though because he gets to travel to their new residence via helicopter while the rest of the guys have to go via a normal vehicle…
    • I am going to get this out of the way now. I found it fucking annoying that some of the guys were complaining about their van ride so much. Yea, you are stuck in traffic…but you aren’t the one driving! You are in a very nice, luxury van/limo with air conditioning, access to music and other activities. Fucking do a crossword, play some cards, and knit just like Xavier! Or take a nap like Caleb! I didn’t like the complaining. Didn’t feel it was truly justified. 
    • I do appreciate them flipping off the helicopter. That is good playful “fuck you” acitivity.
  • Brayden and Charity are on the helicopter and Brayden is one of the few fellas on these dates who is looking out of the window and enjoying the views.
    • Meanwhile, it is Charity who is stressing out because she wants to make sure that Brayden stays. His words at the end of last week make her nervous.
      • Brayden is like a bad drug.
    • I also like how Brayden admits the flying over the mansion is evil…and I love how he admits that he likes the feeling a little.
    • There is no way they got that close to the dolphins.
    • He really did say Holy Shitake Mushrooms.
    • YOU DID NOT LAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SAN DIEGO PADRES PETCO PARK STADIUM!!! STOP SAYING THAT YOU ARE. THIS IS SIMPLY NOT TRUE.
  • We are now in the middle of Petco Park (which they did not land in) and I have to admit that I am super jealous of this date. I would fucking love it. They are just playing catch, taking some batting practice, and nursing wounds…Charity doesn’t have the best eye-hand coordination, but that is okay, we still love her.
    • It was funny with the Padre mascot throwing Brayden out.
  • Charity is very open about finding Brayden very attractive. I notice that on this date, Brayden does not have the obnoxious earnings on.
  • They have a little picnic area where Brayden says it is hard to live with the idea that Charity is dating other guys…but that is the show…here we go…
    • This happens every season. Like clockwork. Honestly, there should be a fantasy bachelor bonus bucket if you can predict which contestant will fall into this trap.
      • I think it is always the safe bet to look at the youngest of the candidates.
  • At the dinner portion Brayan says he is going to open up and he does so talking about how he was cheated on. He notes that makes it hard for him to see Charity with other people but he vows to continue fighting and sticking with the journey because he sees something with her. He doesn’t know what mindset he will be at come the end of the journey, but he is willing to find out.
    • He has a very smooth movie autographing a baseball signing it with a “You’re worth trying for.”
  • Brayden gets the rose, and the fireworks.
  • I should note that I do find it weird that they had dinner in the ballpark after spending the afternoon there. But the backdrop is really pretty.

KEN GETTING BARBIE GROUP DATE

  • TIME FOR SOME PAID PROMOTION. Seriously, how much money has the Barbie team been pumping into its flawless campaign?
  • Simu Lui, mainly known for his role in Marvel’s Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, introduces the date along side successful Bachelorette couple JoJo and Jordan.
    • I can not believe they put that on the lower third. Simply outstanding. It’s a factual statement, but it is also absurd to have to put the qualifier.
  • The guys on this group…which is everyone left except for Warwick (who we will get to)..have to dress up in various Ken outfits and write a song for Charity based on the rhythm of “Girls Just Want To Have fun”
    • So these guys are in absolutely ridiculous outfits, but a few of the highlights.
      • Caleb B. is a cowboy because he looks good in a cowboy hat.
      • Xavier is a Sugar Daddy Ken which I didn’t know was a doll
      • Tanner has the troubling task of walking of ice skates and skater Ken
      • Dotun’s astronaut suit is just so small for it, it’s adorable. It was riding up his calf when he was sitting.
      • John got stuck with the nude Ken onesie which makes him look like a sperm tadpole .
      • Sean is double-denim Ken…and when he says that he looks like a Ken…well he is absolutely right.
    • The performances vary in terms of quality, but there are two that we absolutely need to touch on.
      • Caleb has some pipes. We see people trying to sweep their Barbie off her feet with dancing, clever lyrics or wild poses, but no one has the singing prowess of Caleb. Perhaps it is being a wrestler? He is used to performing and telling a story on a stage, and boy-oh-boy does he deserve it.
      • Despite Caleb giving the best performance, it is Sean who gets the final prize of extra time at the end of this activity. Sean worked the I know I am not the best singer but I am just going to go for it, and it worked.
        • He sweeps Charity off her feet and gives her a big kiss while shirtless with his hair blowing in the wind.
        • Charity notes he she likes the confidence that he showed.
    • You know who is really, really, pissed that Sean won this date? Fucking Aaron S.
      • He says that Season is not a real man: “He’ll take you shopping, country clubs, and wine and dine. But if you want a real-life man who knows how to camp, fish, hunt, water ski, wakeboard, all that stuff, then yeah, hit me up.`
        • I mean dude, you just listed off hobbies. Maybe Charity doesn’t like those hobbies you have.
        • This dude is a fucking asshole.
  • Now let’s get the contentious group portion of this date. This gets really stupidly masculine.
    • Sean comes on in and is sining his victory song, which is a very bad move. A little bit of humility is good to have…and Sean does have absolutely zero of that (at least in this moment)
      • Again Aaron S. stereotypes Sean and asks if he is a lonely child. Aaron S. is just an asshole.
    • So Charity comes in, and Sean just stirs the stew of disdain some more when he pulls her aside first after just having spent time with her. Good lord the balls on this guy.
      • Sean gets back from his time with Charity and now it is James’s turn to go after him. He doesn’t think that Sean understands the process and the moment for the other guys. James is confident he is going home if he doesn’t get time to speak to Charity.
        • James, you are absolutely right.
    • Credit to Michael, John and Tanner for staying above the fray and not diving into it too much.
    • And then there is Dotun. Who doesn’t love Dotun? The beautiful giraffe of a man is led by Charity to her room for a more intimate setting.
      • Dotun tells Charity that he feels like he can learn a lot from her and she might be his “ideal women”
        • Charity starts crying!! LET’S GOO!!! DOTUN!!! FUCKING LOVE THIS GUY!!
  • After all of the drama, it is Dotun that gets the group date rose. 
  • We did not get a lot from Joey or Adrian this group date. And if I forgot anyone else, then we definitely didn’t get a lot from that person.

WARWICK WAVES GOODBYE

  • I had a really hard time watching this date. A really, really hard time.
  • Before we get to what happens in this vacant amusement park, we need to address the guys in the Oceanside hotel who are just flabbergasted that Warick got this one-on-one.
    • They are all like “I like Warick, but what is he?”
    • Even when they asked Warwick about getting the one-on-one he wasn’t very talkative. This would be a trend.
  • So how is this going to go? The short answer…is poorly.
  • Charity acknowledges at the start that she hasn’t had many conversations with Warick but she finds him attractive.
    • Well duh, that is how men get past night one.
  • These two are dressed up head to toe in fancy garb and taking in the sights and entertainment of a vacant Belmont Park.
    • This date sounds awesome. Alone in an amusement park? No lines? No people? Beautiful.
    • What if somebody who went on this date didn’t like rides like that in Belmont Park?
  • At one point Charity says that she is feeling the vibes…and I just don’t know how that could have been true at any moment. As soon as we have to hear them talk to each other, it goes downhill really fast. There are a ton of awkward silences and Charity is doing her best to try and push conversation but Wariwck is giving nothing in terms of deep answers of follow-up questions. He is like talking to a brick wall.
  • Charty is fuming at the idea of scoping out her own ice cream. She hates it.
  • Warwick seems to think that things are going okay, but he notes how amusement parks make him tired. An oddly specific thing, but it makes a ton of sense for the vibes that are happening right now.
  • The worst part of this whole thing is that Warwick doesn’t seem like he wants to be there. I think this whole thing is accented by the fact that he didn’t want to have to go on this one-on-one so he is just taking to skate by.
    • I think the biggest evidence in my favori her is when he is asked about his past relationships and he just gives NOTHING at all. He doesn’t care to reflect or emote anything. He says that a weakness of his is communication, and I think that he should be communicating to Charity that he wants to go home.
  • Charity eventually takes the yawning bull by the horns and drags him to the car for him to be taken home. No rose for Warwick.
    • AND THEN WARWICK ACTUALLY FALLS ASLEEP IN THE CAR! Fuck the producer asking questions. I just want to take a nap.

COCKTAIL PARTY DRAMA

  • Warwick is gone, and the guys don’t seem to give a shit the next morning. They are moving onto bigger things, like Brayden being the center of attention again!
  • Bayern says out loud, in front of the group, that he doesn’t know that he is going to be ready to get engaged at the end of this process. He can see himself dating Charity and being with her, but getting down on one knee is not something he can 100% commit to.
    • Oh no, you have incurred the wrath. You have incurred the fury of the remaining men. Get ready to defend yourself.
  • We start off Cocktail party on a happy note. We start it off with Joey being adorable and showing Charity letters from his grandfather that he used to write to him when he was at his lowest points.
    • Joey is hot, sentimental, and the best eye-contacter (is that a thing?) the show has ever seen. He is a lock for the final four. 100%. I’d be shocked if he isn’t.
  • The good times are only going to last for so long though. Now it is time for Aaron B. to break the news to Charity that Brayden is not ready to get engaged.
    • Aaron B. says that he feels protective of Charity so he feels like he needs to tell her of this Brayden treachery.
      • While Charity is not going to like hearing this news, I think that she is going to like the fact that someone is being protective over her. She loves that about her brother, so that is going to his a note with her.
    • The best line that Charity has while talking it out with Aaron is “I don’t have time to continue to deal with foolishness!”
    • Charity has a big leaning hug for Aaron.
    • Aaron is 100% convinced that he has done the right thing, but other men out there at cocktail party don’t seem to necessarily agree.
  • Credit to Aaron for telling Brayden that he talked to Charity about her. He is an honest man.
    • Brayden holds face in front of Aaron but then goes off in the interviews. He is constantly put in a position to defend himself, but he often puts himself in that position…I.E. telling the group of men you are competing with that you are not ready for an engagement.
  • Charity is angry and she wants answers and she swears she may pull the rose off of his perfectly tailored suit jacket.
    • This is where Brayden scores brownie points back.
      • Brayden is right when he tells Charity that he told her on their one-on-one that he doesn’t know where his mind will be at the end of all of this. Brayden is also right when he says that some of the men in the room don’t understand the gravity of an engagement.
      • Charity tries to come back at Brayden noting how he said that he doesn’t like her dating other guys. To this Brayden points out that he knows what this process is and that it doesn’t make it easy and if anything him being honest about his feelings is more than what the rest of the guys are doing.
  • Holy shit Brayden, what an outstanding comeback. What an outstanding defense.
  • Brayden reminds me of a conversation I heard some friends have in high school. There was a case where two people, Joe and Even, liked the same girl. This girl, I will call her Dee, had a thing for both guys (at least in my eyes). Joe was more of the intellect but a bit more soft spoken. Evan had the muscles and a ton of personality. I remember one time in the gym Evan made a deep thought-provoking and factually based point within an argument, and Dee followed it up by asking him why he doesn’t talk like that all the time because it makes him so much more attractive. She said it in a playful way, not a bitch way.
    • Brayden is like Evan. He has all the pieces, but sometimes he chooses to act 12 when he is 24. But when he wants to act mature, like he does most of the time in front of Charity one-on-one, he talks as a normal human would. And this is why the rest of the men are frustrated because they do not see this other side of Brayden…they only get the golden retriever side.
  • Charity does express some regret that she feels the way she does toward him. Jesse Palmer confronts her about it at the mansion and they talk it out. The rest of the cocktail party is over…and some men are not happy.
    • James is the most pissed because like he said on the group date…if he doesn’t get time with her, then he is going home.

ROSE CEREMONY

  • Adios Aaron S., Adrian, James, and Warwick.
  • Aaron B., Brayden, Caleb, Dotun, Joey, John, Michael, Sean, Tanner, and Xavier are all safe.

(MY) POWER RANKINGS

No. 10
Michael

(Last Week #13)

What exactly has Michael done? He is still here, but how? Good for him.

No. 9
Sean

(Last Week #11)

He was going to be much higher this week but he handled the second half of the group date with zero decorum.

No. 8
Brayden

(Last Week #14)

Yes he can be fairly annoying, but I really do think he is getting more lashings than he should.

No. 7
Aaron B.

(Last Week #7)

I really don’t like how protective he is and how he feels it is solely his responsibility.

No. 6
Tanner

(Last Week #6)

Slow and steady, but got caught up in the drama a little bit with Aaron B. at the cocktail party.

No. 5
Caleb

(Last Week #12)

Could make an argument he was the top performer in both dodgeball and the Ken singing contest

No. 4
John

(Last Week #2)

Didn’t do a ton this week but the most of the nude Ken scenario

No. 3
Xavier

(Last Week #4)

Slow and steady wins the race my friend, and Xavier is doing all the little things right.

No. 2
Joey

(Last Week #1)

Dude has all the traits, he just can’t fumble the bag as we get closer to the end.

No. 1
Dotun

(Last Week #3)

He is so genuine it hurts me. We love him, and we are rooting for him. What a fantastic story it would be.

The Bachelorette‘s next episode is Monday, July 17th, 2023.

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MaXXXine (2024) “In 1980s Hollywood, adult film star and aspiring actress Maxine Minx finally gets her big break. But as a mysterious killer stalks the starlets of Hollywood, a trail of blood threatens to reveal her sinister past.” Director: Ti WestWriter: Ti WestCast: Mia Goth, Elizabeth Debicki, Halsey, Lily Collins, Kevin Bacon, Bob Cannavale, Michelle…

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