IT IS THAT TIME AGAIN! The Bachelorette is back with my one true TV crush at the helm, Katie. ABC and the shows producers have decided that two straight bachelorette seasons is the way to go, and it is the right call after the toxicity of Matt James season (from at least what we were shown.)

AARON

26
Insurance Agent
San Diego, CA
  • College swimmer. That’s dedication. Usually odd practice times. Also team player because you have got to be locked in for entire meet even if you are only racing in one race.
  • He wants to leave a “legacy”? Kind of a weird phrasing?
  • A procrastinator…that is a no go for me dawg.
  • Halloween is only a good holiday for watching horror movies. That is all.
  • Aaron has a very big smile.

ANDREW M.

31
Deputy District Attorney
Newport Beach, CA
  • He loves his job! Respect that. I feel that.
  • It is very weird he specified his hours of 8 to 5. Does that really matter?
  • He is a coach of youth water polo. I wish I could get back into youth coaching.
  • Oh Andrew loves pranks. Negative points.
  • He “Tebowed” on stage at graduation. That is only in the bio now because Tim Tebow has signed with the Jacksonville Jaguars
  • Who doesn’t love the free fragrances in magazines? The question is…who still reads magazines?

ANDREW S.

26
Pro Football Player
Vienna, Austria
  • Ohhh from Austria! I love that. And he plays football there too. That is a unique take on the athlete being on the show.
  • Hmm, the “work to live” or “live to work” argument. I sense glares from my girlfriend when this is brought up.
  • He wants FIVE kids. 5!
  • Okay, Andrew S. seems adorable as hell. Close to his 96-year old grandmother, coach of kids, wants big family, has fun with accents and margaritas.
  • Andrew S. is rocking the turtleneck look that Brandon from Tayshia’s season seems to have made so prevalent.

AUSTIN

25
Real Estate Investor
Mission Viejo, CA
  • Okay, so an overachiever. He works out six days a week and also flipped all those houses? Is he going to be ready to make compromises for a relationship? That…I am not convinced of.
  • “While Austin has dated many women…” This is just a phrasing that means he very much enjoyed the single life.
  • UGHHHHH, searching for the Beyonce to his Jay-Z. Ew. Pass.
  • He likes working on his tan at the beach. Opposite of what I like to do.
  • He doesn’t want his sneakers to get dirty. I hope someone steps on his shoes right away to send Austin in a tizzy and make him get sent home.

BRANDON

26
Auto Parts Manager
Queens, NY
  • Brandon looks like the evil boyfriend or the over-protective brother from a mid-2000’s sitcom. His hair reminds me of Carla’s brother from Scrubs.
  • He outgrew bad habits in college? Aka, he matured like all should?
  • I do like how he said he can’t be with someone who asks for ultimatums. Bad experience with those.
  • The nightcap with movies and snacks is a good call. I do like that. But I get the sense he is pretentious about his movies…and I have that role already so sorry Brandon.
  • His idea of a home-cooked meal and hand-written note being a good gift is a great concept. Have done it before and it works.
  • ATTENDING A RAVE?? I WOULD NEVER.

BRENDAN

26
Firefighter Trainee
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
  • A firefighter in training? He left training for the show? Will he have to restart?
  • Wow the bio writer saying Brendan is “adding a little fire to his personal life.”
  • Very open minded of Brendan to say there is no true deal-breaker. That is a mature look at it. And as an organized person, I like his idea of cleanliness.
  • Brendan is a self-acknowledged bad dancer; AKA he is confident in himself to make himself look like an idiot which is a good trait.
  • Overall, I get good vibes from Brendan.
  • Are we going to get a shirtless thing of Brendan doing fire-fighting things? Seems like a good bet.

CHRISTIAN

26
Real Estate Agent
Boston, MA
  • FOR BOSTON! FOR BOSTON!
  • A lot about family in his bio. Is he too attached to them and what they will think?
  • Vibes that Christian is religious…family, promises, dedication…and his name?
  • Oh, what a great dream goal of driving the Batmobile. That is awesome.
  • I think that the bio had a mistake in it; the last bullet goes from parades to mixed martial arts so I think it was supposed to be a fifth bullet point rather than attached.

CODY

27
Zipper Sales Manager
San Diego, CA
  • He has a six-pack…and that is a defining quality?
  • Cody likes to put all of his feelings out there, “for better or for worse.” I get the sense he is going to over share and Katie is going to have to tell him that he is not there yet. Extra bump to this when he says he is the type of personal to fall hard.
  • A proud eagle scout. Don’t you graduate from that in high school? He is 27 years old.
  • A surfer style guy does fit the vibe of a cowboy. Relaxed and riding the waves of the day which may be a choppy gun show or a smooth whiskey binge.

CONNOR B.

29
Math Teacher
Nashville, TN
  • An eighth grade math teacher? I will sign my life away if my girlfriend doesn’t find him great (she is eighth grade science teacher)
  • A nerd who pokes fun at himself? Hm….I see you Connor.
  • The wanting respect for waiters is a great judge of character. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they behave at a restaurant. Yes, I know that is not earth shattering.
  • Based on a couple of tid-bits, it sounds like Connor likes to eat.
  • Really the only thing Connor B. and I disagree with is the enjoyment of dressing up. Give me gym shorts and a T-Shirt every day.
  • Connor B. is the most attainably hot of the men thus far.

CONNOR C.

28
Former Baseball Player
Costa Mesa, CA
  • An “athletic stud”. I can’t deny that I would love that moniker.
  • LA living compared to Oklahoma living has to be very different. Wonder how the pace of life changes between the two spots.
  • GAHHHHH HE IS RELIGIOUS. ABORT ABORT ABORT (This is a terrible joke. It is a bad, I know. But it was my first thought, so it stays)
  • Puka shell necklaces were out of style when I was in high school…
  • Blueberry pancakes are underrated

DAVID

27
Technical Product Specialist
Nashville, TN
  • Exuding a quiet confidence is a nice trait to look for. Never really heard it explicitly mentioned but it is a good one. Not sure if Katie is the “quiet” confident type though.
  • David has an emphasis on his career as well. It is a trait of a lot of the men thus far in going through the bios.
  • Okay, so the main takeaway from David is that his is boring. That might not be bad because it would balance out Katie. But just nothing that interesting. I mean his favorite food is NYC pizza and he lived in NYC

GABRIEL

35
Entrepreneur
Charlotte, NC
  • Gabriel is Gaston from Beauty And The Beast. The smirk. The hair. The vibe (I have not read anything yet).
  • He likes to say his current “passion project” is finding his “forever love.” That just seems like nonsense and noncommittal.
  • If any of the men on this show wrote their own bio, I would assume it was Gabriel. It is oh so pretentious.  Not good vibes.
  • “RESPECT ELEGANT STYLES OF THE PAST??” – SIR, I am not wearing a suit every day. That is bonkers.
  • I think Gabriel thinks he is James Bond.

GARRETT

29
Software Marketing Manager
Salinas, CA
  • Grew up on baseball. I like that. It really looks like he grew up in the Midwest but is he really a Cali guy?
  • His stance on really wanting a wife and a one-night stand makes me think he is clingy. He is going to be saying people are here for the wrong reason
  • He put dog in his bio, that is no beuno for me.
  • HOW DO YOU NOT LIKE TANGY OR SPICY FOODS!
  • He wants to climb Everest but no other notes of physical activity

GREG

27
Marketing Sales Representative
Edison, NJ
  • First judgement, he looks very normal.
  • Is going to a concert a good date? You wouldn’t be able to hear them.
  • HE WANTS TO HAVE SIX KIDS?? That is not normal.
  • He described his parents as #RomanceGods. Whoof. Not my parents.
  • I do agree that there is nothing wrong with crying during movies. That should be the norm.

HUNTER

34
Software Strategist
Houston, TX
  • His teeth make him look like a predator
  • Ahhh a father. The first (and only one?) of the bunch.
  • Hunter seems like a good and stable guy. It does not mention that he is divorced…? Maybe they just wouldn’t?
  • I gotta respect the people-watching. That is a hobby of anyone.
  • A pet parakeet? What are we in, a zoo?

JEFF

31
Surgical Skin Salesman
Jersey City, NJ
  • What, in the flying hell, is the “surgical skin salesman”?
  • The way he dresses reminds me of Jed
  • The fact he is looking for someone who will “give it back to him” is a good sign for Katie.
  • He calls himself an “exceptional lover”…wish I had that sense of confidence
  • Being a CIA agent would be a cool second choice for a job. Serial Killer profiler has always been a third option for me after Movie Critic.
  • Okay I am getting ta sense that Jeff is a little into himself

JOHN

27
Bartender
Pacific Beach, CA
  • The first sentence of his ABC bio is how I write, the comma adding onto the sense a little thought.
  • EDM shows maybe sounds like my worst nightmare.
  • Having his one major pet peeve being when someone “unfaithful or dishonest”, I think this show may be a little struggle for John. Katie is going to be put into a position where she can’t tell all the truth because she is focal point of the show.
  • A vegetarian…will Katie make a “she likes meat, *wink wink*” joke
  • 100%  fact that fireplaces smell amazing

JOSH

25
IT Consultant
Miami, FL
  • Good. Looking. Dude.
  • Josh seems normal from his paragraph write up? Is that normal in itself? There is nothing out of the ordinary…he is just big into family which a lot of contestants on this particular season seem to be.
  • Has to sleep on the right side of the bed? Okay first weird thing.
  • EHHHH, Christmas in October?? Thought I can see that Katie would love this.
  • Overall I think that Josh is a front runner.

JUSTIN

26
Investment Sales Consultant
Baltimore, MD
  • When they say Justin is “tall”, how “tall” are we talking about? I wonder if the ABC producers have like a cutoff?
  • Ohhh a painter? I don’t think I have seen one on the show before.
  • Passionate about fitness. There are levels to that.
  • I wonder if any of these men would openly admit that they are NOT romantic.
  • I wonder if there is going to be an “artistic expression” date where some of it is going to be active art like acting and dancing, and another part is going to be introspective like painting or drawing.

KARL

34
Motivational Speaker
Miami, FL
  • 34. One of the older guys in the show.
  • Wants a date that includes jet skiing and intimate self-written poetry? Talk about a range.
  • I wonder if Karl has a legit motivational speaking career or if that was he calls himself and is working to make it bigger.
  • Hmmm speaking French is interesting.
  • Just do not agree at all that New Years Day is a good holiday. Wouldn’t a birthday but a fresh start as well?
  • He looks to be a normally fit guy; aka not someone who works out all the time.

KYLE

26
Technical Recruiter
Fort Lauderdale, FL
  • I like the fact he is looking for a romantic comedy type of live. That is like what Emma and I have.
  • YES KYLE. YES MAYO AND MUSTARD ARE GROSS.
  • The vibe I get from Kyle is that he likes to keep moving.
  • I do think Kyle is a candidate for an embarrassing entrance which will make me cringe.

LANDON

25
Basketball Coach
Dallas, TX
  • Basketball coach, ehh??
  • Landon played basketball at Houston.
  • His hair and charisma gave him the nickname “Sunshine”
  • Landon was a monster at D2 school before a limited role at UH.
  • The cropping of his hair in the graphics on social media are tough.
  • Credit to the bio writer for saying that Landon is ready to “leave it on the court…”
  • What is Settlers of Catan? Is that the game from Park and Rec? No it is not. It looks a lot like Splendor?
  • Have we ever had a professional hockey player on the bachelor/bachelorette?

MARCUS

30
Real Estate Agent
Portland, OR
  • Marcus looks like an introvert
  • Marcus is a neat freak and fears a world without soap; so how has he handled the COVID-19 pandemic? Also coming on the show during the pandemic is a big step for him then.
  • I am just curious as a board game lover, what games does have in his place of residence?
  • I predict that Marcus will not last very long.

MARTY

25
Dancer
Reno, NV
  • Massive confidence who likes to show off his body; will he come out of the limo shirtless?
  • His love language is physical touch; that is blatantly obvious.
  • I wonder if Katie’s primary love language is touch? That is what she exuded when dating Matt James but now that the show will be more indicative of her, I wonder if that’ll change.
  • “Marty Brings The Party” – This is like the only nickname for my sister “Marty Party”
  • Why is he so specific about watching movies indoors? Isn’t that the normal? I guess drive in movie theaters are popular in Reno.

MICHAEL

36
Business Owner
Akron, OH
  • Michael rocking the quarterzip! Represent!
  • We have another single father. Now we know why it’s the quarter zip.
  • He wants a women “not easily offended”? That seems like a red flag. But he follows up by says he wants someone who stands up to ignorance. This seems a little hypocritical? But maybe not?
  • OMG A mean plate of Dino Nuggies. WHAT A LINE.
  • I also agree mountains over beach. I am starting to like this guy.

MIKE

31
Gym Owner
San Diego, CA
  • Another professional athlete player in the mix…a baseball player. This guy though directly attacks the stereotypes that go with that in his first line.
  • Who did Mike play for?
  • Mike also has three sisters. Relate to that directly.
  • Okay, Mike doesn’t like desert and is basic. So, me and Mike are the same person? Loves sports but is simple man who lives in routine and being active is part of it?

QUARTNEY

26
Nutrition Entrepreneur
Dallas, TX
  • Nutrition entrepreneur seems a little vague…
  • This guy loves mob dances. That is my vibe.
  • Second guy to bring religion into the picture.
  • Well some of his last tid-bits in the write up are about dancing so he me not only like dance mobs but he would join in on them as well.

THOMAS

28
Real Estate Broker
Poway, CA
  • His love language is food. That is interesting but admittedly very intriguing.
  • Has there even a bachelor and bachelorette competition like a cook-off?
  • The #Swoon is a little much.
  • I wanna see his Ed Hardy trend!
  • Thomas seems like a nice dude but that doesn’t bode well for the show

TRE

26
Software Engineer
Covington, GA
  • Literally based off the photos, Tre is the most buttoned up of the bunch
  • I do appreciate how he says he’d like as many kids as he can comfortably afford. That is a strong man.
  • Rather than saying “His wife”, shouldn’t he had said “Katie” in the write up?
  • If Tre lasts a while we will be seeing him play the harmonica

There is also a random guy in a box, and I am excited to cringe and peak through my hands at the cringe that’ll be taking place when he introduces himself.

The season premiere of Katie Thurston’s season of the Bachelorette premiers on Monday, June 7 at 8/7c.

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