“A dutiful damsel agrees to marry a handsome prince, only to find the royal family has recruited her as a sacrifice to repay an ancient debt.”

Director: Juan Carlos Fresnadillo
Writer: Dan Mazeau
Cast: Millie Bobby Brown, Ray Winstone, Angela Bassett, Brooke Carter, Nick Robinson, Robin Wright, Shohreh Aghdashloo
Release Date: March 8, 2024
IMDB

I stand on an increasingly popular platform holding a sign that reads Millie Bobby Brown is not a good actress. The belief began back in 2016 with the first season of Stranger Things, and became more profound with Godzilla: King Of The Monsters (2019). Her best two projects are the two Enola Holmes films in 2020 and 2022, but the Netflix star regressed to her mean this year with Damsel (2024).

This movie is a flaming piece of predictable boring dribble. Despite a cast of very recognizable faces and voices, Damsel fails to bring the thrills or frills. A few praise this movie for putting a new twist on things, and those minuscule amounts are all idiots. Damsel is beyond predictable, especially in its final act. There are no surprises or threats to the main characters worth fretting about.

So what the hell is Damsel about? Here you go, if you still want to watch it.

Elodie (Millie Bobby Brown) is a princess who becomes betrothed to a prince in a wealthy land. All things seem hunky dory on their wedding day, that is until the wicked Queen Isabelle (Robin Wright) unveils her family’s true intentions. Elodie is tossed off a bridge as a sacrifice to a dragon (Shohreh Aghdashloo) who has been terrorizing the land. Alone in a vast cavernous mountain, Elodie must fight for her life to get back to her family and home.

The best part of Damsel is the voice performance of Shohreh Aghdashloo as the dragon. If you don’t know who she is, one can personally guarantee you’ve heard her voice. She speaks like she has rocks spewing out of her mouth in the best way possible. Gravelly is an understatement. She is a legendary voice actor. If you want to see Aghdashloo on screen, she appeared on screen in Renfield (2023), a far more entertaining film than Damsel.

The worst part of Damsel is its predictability. Sure, who could have predicted the weird ass bugs would have healing power at the jump, but once they appear in the story Elodie starts playing with them…you know their importance is going to grow. All of the little twists and turns in the middle portion of Damsel mean absolutely nothing when the ending is etched in stone from the opening credits.

In terms of Millie Bobby Brown, she has signed the deal of a lifetime with Netflix. She is their postchild. If her name is on the poster, people will be tuning in. Hell, even I fall into that boat. But just because your name is on the poster doesn’t mean you have the necessary talent to carry a solo job.

Damsel is directed by Juan Carlos Fresnadillo. It’s his first major motion picture since Intruders (2011), which followed Fresnadillo’s most-seen movie, 28 Weeks Later (2007). Damsel is written by Dan Mazeau, who has written three major motion pictures: Wrath Of the Titans (2012), Fast X (2023), and Damsel. Seeing how poor the ending to the latest Fast & Furious movie was, it should be no surprise how much I disliked the ending to this latest effort.

Damsel is streaming exclusively on Netflix. If you want to watch a better version of this movie, turn on The Princess (2022) and watch Joey King’s rendition.

STANKO RATING: D

Rating: 1.5 out of 5.

Stanko Excel Lists | Movies, Books, Podcasts. TV Shows
Stanko Letterdbox Account

RECENtly WATCHED

Posted on 0 By jstanko99 Movies Posted in Movies, Reviews Tagged #, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

jstanko99

Leave a comment