Football
Back At The REEEEEEM Fantasy Football Week 12 Recap
Back At The REEEEEEM Fantasy Football Week 11 Recap
PREAMBLE
Gonna be honest, I donโt have much for a preamble today. Lots of the excitement is in the playoff scenarios which are written down below. Every matchup this week has some sort of significance, which is really all you could ask for.
Also the NFL having six teams on a bye in week 13 is crazy.
Sorry, thatโs all Iโve got.
Let’s get going.
WEEK 12 SCOREBOARD
- Turns out that Jalen Hurts is pretty good at football. After a rough first half, Hurts put on his Superman cape and carried the Eagles and Steve to victory. Kutlzow also got two touchdowns from Derrick Henry, and the Denver Broncos defense has now had four straight weeks of quality defensive play. And I want to blame Tim Boyle for throwing garbage time passes to Garrett Wilson, but I would never.
- I am thankful that the past week or so of my life has been so busy because I didnโt have to watch my fantasy football season blow up in my face. It started bad on Thursday with Jahmyr Gibbs, Tyler Lockett and Jake Ferguson all performing below projections, and it all went downhill from there.
- This was a really fucking close matchup! Lobo gets JUSTTTT enough from Gus Edwards on Sunday night. The Ravens running back has been Wally Pipped, but different players picked up the slack. The Dolphins defense scored 23.0 points against the Jets, and Trevor Lawrence now has over 56 points over the last two weeks. He has 14+ points in four of the last five weeks.
- Ritz, who do we want to pin the blame on this week? I think we look at Riley Patterson, kicker for the Detroit Lions. Zero points on Thanksgiving is just cruel. Perhaps we then turn to Monday night, where Ritz had a chance with Keenan Allen going. But the Chargers offense struggled the entire way, and Allen came up with 15.6 ponts, 3.2 points below his season average.And 3.2 points would have been enough for a win.
- ZAY MOTHA FUCKING FLOWERSSS!!! BOSTON COLLEGE REPRESENT!!! What a touchdown. I win a bet, and McGinnity pulls off a true Monday Night Miracle to steal one away from McLaughlin. Ouch. The defending champion goes down in a heap, and a contender for this yearโs title gets a chance to win the regular season crown. What a fucking win. Doesnโt matter if Justin Herbert scored just 13.38 points. Zay Flowers called game. FOR BOSTON, FOR BOSTON!
- And when that Eagle soared across the glorious white end zone line of the gridiron, McLaughlin sank into a deep depression in whatever saggy seating implement he was stumped in. The defending champion is dead. Tomโs season is dead. The brashest shit talker has been neutered, but damn, you almost feel bad for how it happened.
- Is there such a think as โsave it for the next gameโ in fantasy football? Buzzi let loose the clip on Tommy, setting up a quality tie-breaking scenario in the final week of the regular season. Josh Allen had the best week for an active fantasy QB this season. Buzziโs running backs put up ridiculous numbers, and the defense and kicker both contributed in double-digit points. We just gotta hope this isnโt like the Yankees in game three of the 2004 ALCS. We all know what happened to the games after that.
- Tommy, focus up on this week. Maybe it is good that Lamar Jackson and Saquon are getting a break because they have been struggling for a little bit. If Chuba Hubbard is your leading scorer, then the week is going to struggle. It was just his second week with double-digit points this season.
- Normally 155.64 points would be a top candidate for best scorer of the week, but Buzzi took that from Ronan. Still, Ronan has to love where he is at now. Dak Prescott was dynamite on Thanksgiving and that CeeDee Lamb duo is becoming a major problem. Nico Collins, Deebo Samuel, Lamb, and Kelce all scored double-digit points. The worst performer on the day was Austin Ekelerโฆ.and Ronan breaks down that trade in his quotes. (I am not as stupid as I once appeared)
- Ah, Jimmy, You and I both gave it a good run. We both made things interesting and we fought to the finish. That is really all you could ask for. I am glad that you and Tommy could both cheer on the Packers on Thanksgiving. Jordan Love did you proud. Its the running position that did you in, as it has for the majority of the season.
WEEK 12 ANALYTICS
GOOGLE SHEET LINKย โ Best Viewing Mode
- The margin of the matchups during week 12 varied to extreme degrees. Three matchups decided by less than four points, but two matchups decided by more than 40 points.
- Week 12 was officially the highest scoring week of our season with an average point total of 125.09.
- It is the highest since week three which averaged out to 125.07 per team.
- There were multiple season bests set this week
- Ronan with 256.54 combined team points.
- Buzzi with 39.66 points from his quarterback (Josh Allen)
- Buzzi with 67.70 points from his running backs (Kyren Williams, Tony Pollard & James Cook)
- Buzzi ranked first in six statistical categories this week
- Ritz got fucked out of winning having the fourth most points of the week but still coming up with a loss.
- I have so much red underneath my name under the average ranking and average points scoredโฆit actually hurts to look at.
- I was the only one to not score over 100 points this weekโฆin the highest scoring week of the season.
ADDITIONAL WEEK 12 STATISTICS
AVERAGE MARGIN OF VICTORY BY WEEK
- Week 1: 19.13
- Week 2: 25.52
- Week 3: 21.73
- Week 4: 30.65
- Week 5: 31.73
- Week 6: 18.64
- Week 7 : 31.32
- Week 8: 19.57
- Week 9: 22.39
- Week 10: 27.63
- Week 11: 18.99
- Week 12: 22.98
- Average Margin Of Victory This Season Is 24.19
TOP FIVE WEEKLY TOTAL
- 169.36 – Buzzi
- 155.64 – Ronan
- 121.36 – Lobo
- 118.20 – Ritz
- 116.70 – Kultzow
LOWEST FIVE WEEKLY TOTAL
- 99.90 – Stanko
- 101.28 – T-Si
- 113.82 – Jimmy
- 114.82 – McLaughlin
- 115.38 – McGinnity
AVERAGE TEAM TOTALS PER WEEK
- Week One: 106.91
- Week Two: 114.35
- Week Three: 125.07
- Week Four: 118.43
- Week Five: 119.13
- Week 6: 113.31
- Week 7: 110.73
- Week 8: 120.69
- Week 9: 108.79
- Week 10: 115.74
- Week 11: 113.14
- Week 12: 125.09
- Average Team Total This Season Is 115.95
WEEK 13 MATCHUPS
- Tommy Simon is my biggest fan this week. In order for him to make the playoffs, he needs me to beat Matthew Buzzi, and Tommy needs to win his matchup against Lobo. It is rather fortuitous for Mr. Simon that the Buffalo Bills are on a bye this week, so Buzzi will not have the top fantasy quarterback this week. Buzzi will be going with Jared Goff in New Orleans in Allenโs place, so the Lions fan is really rooting for the Lions.
- Last time around in week four, Buzzi dismantled me 159.3 to 100.8.
- One matchโฆfor all the marbles. One match to determine who will be the Back At The REEEEEEM Regular Season Champion. One match so see who will get a 100 dollars cashola for finishing first at the end of the regular season. Zay Flowers carried McGinnity to this opportunity, but he will not be available next week. Nor McGinnityโs hero, Justin Tucker. Can Steve hold on and keep the crown that he has held for the majority of the season, or will old man winter come by and put the Yorktown wanna-be residentโs dreams on ice.
- This is the first time that McGinnity and Steve have played this season. Fancy that, huh?
- Tommy is going to be worried about my matchup with Buzzi, but he needs to keep his eye on the prize against Lobo. It is going to be a tall task for T-Si to give himself a chance because he is going to be without three starters: Lamar Jackson, Saquon Barkley and DJ Moore. Lobo has a chance to finish top half of the league, and that would be nothing to scoff at. But he can play ultimate spoiler, which is always a ton of fun.
- In their first matchup, Tommy dismissed a dismal Lobo performance in week four, 117.54 to 73.72.
- Ronan is playing against Ritz and hoping for a win to secure himself a third place finish, and therefore a matchup against the second place team. The question I have for Mr. McClorey is who he wants to play in the first round, Steve or McGinnity? And letโs not forget Ritz here. He has a chance of finishing in last place. If McLaughlin loses, and Ritzโs loses, then Ritz would come in last if he doesnโt score 70+ more points than him. So lots on the table here.
- In their first matchup this season, Ritz took a close, high scoring game against Rona, 139.66 to 122.48 in week five.
- Here is the thing. This matchup between McLaughlin and Jimmy means in terms of this fake fantasy football season. But in reality, the loser of this matchup will have to pay an extra 50 dollars to me to be disseminated out amongst the winnings. You do not want to finish in last place. I also do not want this to be a surprise to either one because I have mentioned it before, and I am mentioning it here again, and I will mention it again next week. So win this week!
- In week five, McLaughlin put up the biggest week of the season to take down Jimmy, 185.14 to 126.48. McLaughlin may need another one of those weeks if he doesnโt want the dreadful first to last storyline this offseason.
TEAMS ON A BYE: Baltimore Ravens, Buffalo Bills, Chicago Bears, Las Vegas Raiders, Minnesota Vikings, New York Giants
STANDINGS
- Itโs nice that ESPN now puts the โeโ in front of the people eliminated from the postseason. I donโt recall them every doing that before.
- Granted, having an โeโ next to your name sucks and it is painful to write about.
- Steve and McGinnity are in the playoffs, but they are battling it out for the top seed this week. The winner will have bragging rights and play either Ronan, Buzzi, or Tommy.
- Ronan secures himself the third seed with a win.
- Buzzi secures himself the fourth seed with a win.
- Tommy needs a win and a Buzzi loss to get in.
- A Buzzi win and a Ronan loss would push Ronan down to the fourth spot barring a bazinga scoring output in a loss.
- Lobo has a 1% chance to make the playoffsโฆbut I really donโt see it. Sorry.
PUBLIC RELATIONS
“Zay Flowers is going to be the reason I can’t afford Christmas presents.”
Steve Kultzow – Manager of Cook Pu
“The teams feeling good. 98% chance of making the playoffs so hope nothing crazy happens. We need Ekeler to step it up in the playoffs. I ran the numbers on the trade from earlier in the season and I miss Gibbs and White.
Since the trade, Ekeler has only outscored Gibbs and White once, and it was a week Gibbs was injured! Gibbs and White have three weeks where they both outscored Ekeler. Total points since the trade: Ekeler [with} 85.5, White [with] 102.1 and Gibbs [with] 103 (in two less games).”
Ronan McClorey – Manager of Now You CeeDee, Now You Don’t
“Sorry Tommy but the end is here. I don’t want to do it again, but I have to. I ended your fantasy baseball season and now I’m going to end your football season like the Giants are also going to do to the Packers on Monday Night Football. Love you kid.”
Christopher Lobo – Manager of Keke, Coutee Luv Me
“That’s what the boys can do, but we’re not there yet. We need to clutch up while Josh is getting a well needed rest.”
Matthew Buzzi – Manager of Allen This Together
“I still don’t know how the fuck I won this week. Then again, the team ahead of us has been doing it all season so (He then made the ยฏ\_(ใ)_/ยฏ motion). Maybe it’s just the way this year is supposed to go.”
Matthew McGinnity – Manager of Run CMC
“Watching the final nail in my season’s coffin being a garbage time TD by Herbert, and as my season is slowly lowered into the cold, hard, autumn earth, I have time to reminisce on the season. I started on such a high, drafting the best team the league has ever seen. It even led to a win against Ritz in the first game. From then on it was constant disappointment with faint glimmers of hope. As of this writing I’m highest in Points For and second in Points Against. But life isn’t fair. I will enjoy the remaining time I have left with the trophy (intimately) and hopefully ruin someone’s seeding before the seasons over.
Tom McLaughlin – Manager of My Glockz Out
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