PREAMBLE

With four weeks left in the regular season, it is time to start the chopping block. It is at this point I would like to put an axe in the hopes of Billy, Kenney and List. I am sorry to be the grim reaper of playoff hopes & dreams, but it is my duty to carry the scythe.

Random little story. In my house growing up, good old 80 Dublin Hill Road, there was a creepy ass shack that belonged to a neighbor. Next to this shack there was a white water well that was encompassed in thorns, and next to that well was a giant tree. Going through this tree was a giant scythe. The handle in one end and the blade protruding from the other side.

This has been a nugget of a story idea for me if I were to ever write a screenplay. I know it has nothing to do with fantasy football, but it’s the preamble. Who gives a shit.

Back to the playoff picture. I think it’s safe to say that Bove is in the playoffs, along with Gabe and Eric. There is going to be a fight for the bye, but I think it’s safe to say that Bove is guaranteed a bye. Gabe got the better of Eric this week, but they are two equally dangerous teams.

Let’s get going.

WEEK 10 SCOREBOARD

  • I mean, what a gross fantasy football game. Really gross. Lamar Jackson had his third straight game with less than 14 fantasy points. All of my wide receivers had less than 10 points and my flex choice of Gerald Everett resulted in zero points. Luckily for me, only one team did worse than me this week.
    • I am seeing Michael on Saturday, and I am not going to mention this performance. Joe Burrow had a great fourth quarter…but the rest of the players on his team didn’t know games started. Derrick Henry had just 3.0 points. I mean a Patriots wide receiver was his top skill player. That is a terrible sign. Also, Stefon Diggs just shitting the bed on Monday was massive and needed for my win.
  • Amon-Ra St. Brown is a dawg. That is Dan Campbell speech. He had a season-best 30.5 points against the Los Angeles Chargers. Tyler Lockett also had his second best week of the season at just the right time. Vaghi improves to .500 and currently resides in the final playoff spot.
    • Jack List has entered spoiler territory. He just wants to make it a mess for whomever he plays. Unluckily for him, Trevor Lawrence was hampered to just 2.1 points. San Francisco pants him and Jacksonville. List has been struggling for points over the last three weeks. He has not scored over 100 points in each of the last three weeks.
  • Michaud loved the Detroit Lions and Los Angeles Chargers shootout. Jared Goff, the 12th ranked fantasy quarterback, had 21.12 points. Also, Austin Ekeler had 21.5 points out of the Chargers backfield. A great start, and then Tyler Boyd was part of the shootout in Cincinnati and where he scored a season-best 19.7 points.
    • Huntley suffered his second straight loss, but it was a hard-fought loss with four starters on the bench. No Jalen Hurts, and Geno Smith filled in with 24.06 points. No Jaylen Waddle and receivers in his roster still totaled 39.5 points. The crazy thing, but the true thing, is that the Dallas defense only scored 11.0 points against the New York Giants. Last time around they scored 35.0 points. That is the Tommy DeVito affect.
  • Gabe takes down Eric in the most important and exciting matchup of the week. Eric thought that he may have had a chance on Monday night with Josh Allen and the Bills defense going, but the city of Buffalo had a collective throw up and not enough points came out. Josh Allen is struggling a bit time, yet still he is somehow the number one fantasy quarterback. Fantasy football is not like real football.
    • C.J. Stroud is a dude. What a come from behind win. Gabe didn’t suffer from Christian McCaffrey’s touchdown drought ending. Sure, Calvin Ridley had only 4.0 points, but T.J. Hockenson had a monster 30.4 points. Also, Gabe had the 49ers defense, and they shut down Ridley and the Jaguars to the tune of 19.0 points.
  • Timmy comes out on top in the battle of the Drakeley family. Timmy also has the league’s top scoring team for the third straight week. That means three straight wins for the man, which means Timmy is now in the playoff race as the ffith seed. Timmy right now is a buzz saw led by the fucking dynamic duo of CeeDee Lamb and Keenan Allen. The two wide receivers had a ginormous 80.0 point week. Just nuts.
    • Bill, sorry to say, never really had a case. Even if he played his entire bench along with his roster, he would still lose the matchup 142.1 to 132.26. The most crazy thing about Billy’s team is that his bench was projected for 47.4 points, and that is exactly what he scored on his bench. Also, is Joe Mixon invisible? I feel like he has been quiet all year long. He is the 17th ranked RB in fantasy this year.
  • Bove lost his first matchup last week and bounced back this week with a very tight win over Greg, 127.42 – 124.86. Justin Herbert had a team-best 28.42 points, and Bijan Robinson scored 17.6 points which is the best output by the Atlanta running back since week four. Garrett Wilson and the New York Jets defense combined for 28.3 points on Sunday night , which ended up just being enough.
    • Brick has to be punching Bricks seeing Dallas Cowboy Brandin Cooks on his bench. 32.3 points! Cooks has not been cooking all season. Before week 10, Cooks had a combined 47.8 points. He has just three games with 10+ points this season. To make matters worse, Brick started Jahan Dotson, who had 0.0 points despite leading the Commanders in targets on Sunday.

WEEK 10 ANALYTICS

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  • Timmy Drakeley has had the most points scored each of the last three weeks.
    • During weeks four through seven, Timmy never ranked better than tenth.
  • I have the most disgusting victory of the season. I scored the second fewest points of the week, but thankfully Kenney had the fewest points scored.
  • Bove is averaging the most points scored per match in five different categories: Points Scored, Points On Bench, Full Team Points, Points Compared To Projected, Kicker Points.
  • List is averaging the fewest points scored per match in four different categories: Points Scored, Points Compared To Projected, Quarterback Points, and Highest Scoring Player_Position.
  • Brick lost this week to Bove despite having the most points scored by his quarterback,  tight ends and kicker points.
  • Bove has not had a top-half running back scoring performance since week six. Over the first six weeks he ranked on average 3.667 in scoring average.
  • Kenney ranked last in five different categories this week.
  • Vaghi has been a steady player when it comes to his projected point total. In week one he ranked ninth in the league with a tough -30.46 points to projected. Since then, he has only finished below his projected point total once and he has not ranked worst than sixth.

ADDITIONAL WEEK 10 STATISTICS

Margin Of Victory By Week
  • Week One: 35.96
  • Week Two: 25.74
  • Week Three: 25.97
  • Week Four: 27.31
  • Week Five: 48.05
  • Week Six: 18.00
  • Week Seven: 37.48
  • Week Eight: 22.20
  • Week Nine: 29.89
  • Week Ten: 22.17
  • Average Margin Of Victory This Season Is 29.17
TOP Six WEEKLY TOTAL
  • 142.10 – Timmy
  • 141.44 – Gabe
  • 131.06 – Vaghi
  • 127.42 – Bove
  • 125.28 – Eric
  • 124.92 – Michaud
LOWEST Six WEEKLY TOTAL
  • 75.28 – Kenney
  • 83.12 – Stanko
  • 84.86 – Billy
  • 92.70 – List
  • 114.06 – Huntley
  • 124.86 – Brick
Average Team Totals Per Week
  • Week One: 101.19
  • Week Two: 117.54
  • Week Three: 120.95
  • Week Four: 118.77
  • Week Five: 118.61
  • Week Six: 107.77
  • Week Seven: 111.97
  • Week Eight: 123.68
  • Week Nine: 104.25
  • Week Ten: 113.925
  • Average Team Total This Season Is 113.87

WEEK 11 MATCHUPS

  • I believe, with my mental math calculations, that Bove has the potential to clinch a playoff spot this week with a win and certain losses. He will attempt to do so without the underrated Michael Pittman Jr. and under utilized Bijan Robinson. And as of Wednesday night, Raheem Mostert and Garrett Wilson are questionable. I have to make a decision with who I am putting in the flex spot. George Pickens is part of an infuriating offense. Gabe Davis is feast or famine, and Noah Brown is questionable and what happens in Nico Collins is back?
  • Huntley needs a get-right game, and List comes just at the right time. However, as of Wednesday Huntley does not have a running back on his roster to replace Taysom Hill. Not a ton of great options. List is hoping to be lifted by bounceback games. Trevor Lawrence can’t be that bad again and Dalton Kincaid will be part of the Bills needing a bounce back game desperately. 
  • Eric does not want to lose two in a row, and he will have to avoid the losing streak without either of his starting running backs (Alvin Kamara and Jonathan Taylor). That is over 30 points per game, and as of now it is Chuba Hubbard and Ty Chandler in the starting slots…who are projected for 10.5 points. What can Vaghi expect from Saquon Barkley? Is Amari Cooper hurt by Deshaun Watson being hurt? Can Puka Nacua get back to the crazy start that he had? Lots of questions in this game.
  • I hate this matchup. I confuse Timmy (KC Rough Houers) and Michaud’s (Charleston Chiefs) teams all the time. Both are referencing the Kansas City football team and I can’t wrap my head around it. Drakely picked up Dobbs and is going to throw him into the fire (probably for the rest of the season). Michaud has won three games in a row but he can’t seem to believe it, at least based off his quotes. He gets Patrick Mahomes back, and is banking on the Washington Commanders defense beating up on the New York Giants.
  • Gabe has two open bench spots. This man is wilding over there. But he is in second place, so no judgment. Whatever he has is working. He has the first and fourth ranked fantasy running backs, and the top ranked tight end. Brick is ecstatic to have Tyreek Hill back in his lineup, and as of Wednesday, Brandin Cooks is right there next to him, Is Brick going to ride with the Cowboy against Carolina come Sunday?
  • This is the fantasy game that would never appear on Red Zone. Michael and Billy battling it out to see who will not be in last place. This is a battle for pride. Those battles are often more hard-fought than some middle-of-the-road fights. Let’s put some stakes on this fellas. Make it interesting. 

TEAMS ON A BYE: Atlanta Falcons, New Orleans Saints, New England Patriots, Indianapolis Colts

STANDINGS

  • Eric and Gabe swap spots. Gave sits in the silver sphere and would like to keep that first round bye in the palyoffs.
  • Greg Brick dropped from fifth place to seventh place….outside the playoff picture.
  • Huntley drops from sixth to ninth in the standings…outside the playoff picture.
  • Vaghi leaps into sixth place, and Timmy vaults from eight to fifth.
  • Last bit of movement is Michaud getting into eight place.
  • There are five times tied at .500.
    • And with tie-breaker being points scored…it is remarkably tight. Timmy has 2.4 more points than Vaghi. Vaghi has roughly 20 points more than Brick, and then there is a 130 points gap between Greg and Justin.
  • I again need to point out how Andrew Huntley ranks third in points scored and is nine in the standings.

PUBLIC RELATIONS

“The team got back on track and showed a lot of heart despite questionable coaching decisions on both sides.”

Timothy Bove – Manager of Participation Trophy

“Big win- momentum heading in the right direction. Excited to open up a can of whoop ass on Michaud this week.”

Timmy Drakeley – Manager of KC Rough Housers

Couldn’t Think Of One.

Gabe Lizarazo – Manager of Aaron Rodger’s Trip Sitter

“The team is finally healthy and some of the players are having a resurgence. However, the recent success still feels like a a case of serendipity.”

Justin Michaud – Manager of Charlestown Chiefs

“Amon-Ra carrying the squad as usual, Kyler return huge for the Monkey Boys morale. Expecting some big time numbers from him vs Eric this week. Kamara and JT on bye for him is clutch, hungry to take down one of the top teams in the league.”

Matthew Vaghi – Manager of Monkey Boys

“If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all. What an absolutely ugly performance.”

Jonathan Stanko – Manager of Look What You Made Me Koo

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