PREAMBLE

It is currently Monday morning, and every single matchup has already been decided. It is both good for me because I can begin writing up all my stuff on the train today, but it is also slightly depressing because that means that there were not a ton of engaging matchups.

With the competition on the scoreboard lacking, we at least do have some off the field talking points. The first of which is how poor my team is and how I made a couple big trades over the last two weeks and it immediately bit me in the bum.

So my rationale with Ronan was that I really needed depth, and I wanted a for sure starter at tight end. This trade, combined with the trade I had with McLaughlin (see below), was supposed to keep me levitated for a chance against Lobo. All of that goes out the window by Jamyr Gibbs goes down with injury and Friday, and then Anthony Richardson gets hurt in the first half against the Titans. So much for my lofty expectations regarding the Richardson and Michael Pittman Jr. stack.

Then there were some other side stories that need to be brought up. 

McLaughlin and Jimmy put 20 bucks on the line, so now McLaughlin has more bullets to fire at Ritz in their next contest this season.

Ritz texted me earlier this week (see below), and what he wrote out to me is exactly what happened. Ronan defeated by his own former teammates. Extra salt in the wound.

There were talks more trades on the horizon but nothing has come across the commissioner’s desk. Lobo said he threw some big time offers out to the public, but it would appear that nobody nibbled. Maybe he just needs to throw out some more bait.

Let’s get it going.

WEEK 5 SCOREBOARD

  • Congratulations are in order for Mr. Lobo. Despite having Justin Jefferson go down to injury, the man still comes away with a win. Hopefully it is not too long of an issue for Jefferson, otherwise Lobo and the Vikings are fucked. Lobo’s big performance was Breece Hall. The Jets running back is good, and I really do hate to admit it. He, and the 49ers destroying the Cowboys and getting 18 points on defense helped keep his team afloat
    • I made all the trades. I made all the wheelings and dealings. It means absolutely nothing. I traded for a couple players on a bye and was hoping to just stay competitive, but the full ramifications of my roster overall will have to wait another week. I now basically need to win out.
  • Tommy Simon was just trying to run up the scoreboard on Monday night, but it’s good he had such a sizable lead with Aaron Jones being ruled out. Maybe not good for his actual Packer fandom that he remains banged up, but still a fantasy win is nice. T-Si needs to give thanks to his NFC north rival DJ Moore! 45.0 points on a Thursday night! What a way to start the week!
    • McGinnity got really messed up this week with the bye situation. DK Metcalf, Kenneth Walker II and Justin Herbert being inactive really left McGinnity in a pickle. Justine Hill did the best he could, but Rashod Bateman and Zay Flowers having a case of the butterfingers is not appetizing to victory.
  • Steve will be the first to admit that his 4-1 record is a tad bit of a mirage. But with that being said, you play the schedule you are dealt and take wins however you get them. Jalen Hurts played his best game of the season and scored 27.32 points. He did so while only tossing to DeVonta Smith once. That is a shock. Luckily for Steve Puka Nacua still put up numbers, and Jordan Addison filled in the shoes for the Vikings when Justin Jefferson went down.
    • The AFC East did its job for Buzzi. Josh Allen scored 27.76 points in London and Tyreek Hill scored 28.1 points in Miami’s win over the Giants. Unfortunately for everyone else, they never got the “score points today” memo. The only other double-digit scorer was Marquis Brown of the Arizona Cardinals.
  • Justin Fields gave Ronan the upper hand on Thursday, but Travis Eteinne Jr. told everyone to hold his tea come Sunday morning. Erienne Jr. scored 34.4 points, which is 75% of his season points total. You scroll down Ritz’s team and see the Saints defense feasted on the feeble Patriots. Kyle Pitts emerges from the shadows for his best game of the season, and Kirk Cousins even manages a 19.86 point effort despite the loss of Jefferson.
    • This is a tough beat for Ronan. Compared to the rest of the league, he deserves a win. I mean how many teams lost a contest with Justin Fields as their starting QB? Ronan was let down by his top-tier wide receivers CeeDee Lamb and Deebo Samuel. The pair faced off on Sunday night and only combined for 16.9 points.
  • Well Mr. Tom McLaughlin did indeed take his Glockz out and drop it on the table. 185.14 points is a damn fine week. Ain’t no doubt about that. McLaughlin had the top scoring right-end of the week in George Kittle (26.2 points) and the top scoring wide receiver in Ja’Marr Chase (44.7 points). The only players who scored in single digits were Chris Olave (who he get in a trade from me) and the Colts defense.
    • Jimmy, I am sorry to say but you are indeed out 20 bucks. Even if Jimmy put forth his best effort of the season, it would have not been enough to topple Tom this week. You just ran into a buzzsaw. Perhaps we need to start throwing the challenge flag on starting Dameon Pierce though? Averaging only 8.7 points per game.

WEEK 5 ANALYTICS

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  • Buzzi’s bench outscored his roster 109.54-92.56
    • Buzzi’s 109.54 bench score would have won against four teams this week, including Steve.
    • Buzzi still finished second overall in points scored.
      • He has not finished lower than fifth in terms of total points at any point this season.
  • Jimmy finished fourth in six different statistical categories this week. He finished fourth or better in eight different categories. Tough week to catch the loss.
  • Steve is in first place in the league despite averaging below average in nine of the 11 statistical categories.
    • Quarterback and points on the bench are the only two categories he ranks above the average line.
  • Lobo had the second fewest points scored by a quarterback this week, but it was enough to beat me, who had the fewest points (thanks to Anthony Richardson getting hurt).
  • The only skill position where McGinnity thrived was tight end where Dallas Goedert had 21.7 points. Best for the second-highest total this week.
  • McGinnity ranked seventh in running back points this week which is the first time he ever fell below fifth ranking. Maybe didn’t help that Kennether Walker III was on a by.
  • McLaughlin led the way in five categories this week: Points Scored, Full Team Points, Points Compared To Projected, Wide Receiver Points, Tight End Points,
    • Tom’s team has scored 127+ points each of the last three weeks
    • Back-to-back weeks where McLaughlin ranked second in running back points
  • Ritz made the most of a week where he had a ton of byes; he finished second in points and 10th in points on bench.
  • Ritz led the league in points scored by running backs and defense.
    • Ritz has finished top five every week for running back points.
  • Ronan has had the best output from tight ends this season: he is top-ranked in the lead and has his players averaging 11.82.
  • I rank lowest among the league in seven categories. I average the lowest point total in eight categories.
  • T-Si likes to get high ceilings. He is averaging over 30 points from his highest scorers every week.
  • After finishing the first two weeks dead last in wide receiver output, T-Si has top two wide receiver scoring for the past two weeks.
  • Season Bests Set In Week Five
    • Total Points – 185.14 | McLaughlin
    • Points Compared To Projected – +56.14 | McLaughlin
    • Tight End Points – 26.2 | McLaughlin
  • Season Worsts Set In Week Five
    • Bench Points – 9.5 | Ritz
    • Running Back Points – 6.3 | T-Si
    • Tight End Points – 0.0 | Buzzi

ADDITIONAL WEEK 5 STATISTICS

AVERAGE MARGIN OF VICTORY BY WEEK
  • Week 1: 19.13
  • Week 2: 25.52
  • Week 3: 21.73
  • Week 4: 30.65
  • Week 5: 31.73
  • Average Margin Of Victory This Season Is 25.75
TOP FIVE WEEKLY TOTAL
  • 185.14 – McLaughlin
  • 139.66 – Ritz
  • 129.72 – T-Si
  • 126.48 – Jimmy
  • 122.48 – Ronan
LOWEST FIVE WEEKLY TOTAL
  • 77.02 – Stanko
  • 92.56 – Buzzi
  • 97.92 – McGinnity
  • 105.12 – Kultzow
  • 115.18 – Lobo
AVERAGE TEAM TOTALS PER WEEK
  • Week One: 106.91
  • Week Two: 114.35
  • Week Three: 125.07
  • Week Four: 118.43
  • Week Five: 119.13
  • Average Team Total This Season Is 116.78

WEEK 6 MATCHUPS

  • Congrats Ronan! You get a bye this week!  Huzzah! Ronan can get back on the winning track as long as his wide receivers remember who they are and who they can be. CeeDee Lamb has had three single-digit games. Deebo is averaging 12.1 points per game and Nico Collins has gone 4.4, 32.3 and 5.4 the last three weeks. Which one is he? Or perhaps Ronan will just forget to activate Austin Ekeler.
    • How can I win this matchup? Perhaps if Travis Kelce doesn’t play and if Raheem Mostert has the same nagging knee injury that Davon De’Von Achane has come down with? Or maybe Ronan will forget to activate Austin Ekeler from his IR slot.
  • Christopher Lobo is gonna have to do some lineup manipulation this week. He will have to play Deshaun Watson because Jordan Love is on a bye. James Connor is questionable, and it looks like Justin Jefferson is long gone. Does he do the Zack Moss and Jonathan Taylor combo?
    • Jimmy is in need of a win, but there are signs of life. Joe Burrow had his best game by far in week five, and this week he can hopefully stick Tee Higgins back in the lineup. It would appear that Jerry Jeudy is no longer playable? He is averaging just 7.3 points per game.
  • We have the top dog versus the defending champ. Now, records would dictate that Steve would be favored…but as one can see in the stats…Steve is not exactly the highest scoring team in the league. This will be a test for Steve, but his team has somehow battled through to this point.
    • Will McLaughlin have the terrible misfortune of losing Achane after using him as the super swiss army knife for his short spurt. Luckily for him, Alvin Kamara has come back from suspension and is averaging 16.1 points per game. But here is the scariest thing for Steve. Tom has Patrick Mahomes. Mahomes is going up against the Denver Broncos defense. The Broncos made Zach Wilson look above average. The Chiefs may hang 50.
  • The threshold for Ritz to win matchups appears to be the 130 points mark. In his three wins he has crossed it, but in his losses he has hovered around the 100 point threshold. This week he has no one on byes, and he gets to bring back Keenan Allen. Safe to say that Jahan Dotson is the wide receiver who will be benched? A one week mercenary pickup.
    • Tommy doesn’t have his Packers playing this week. They need a week to regroup from the Monday night loss.  Time to focus everything on fantasy. Miles Sanders is probably going to get the nod in Aaron Jones place, and he really needs to pick up the slack. Over the past two weeks he has scored a combined 5.9 points.
  • The Battle of the Matts. Matt squared. Both teams are coming off a loss, both teams with a chance to take over first place with a masterful win. McGinnity gets his Seattle starters this week, and Buzzi has to have a talk with his bench players from week five and make sure they show up in the starting lineup in week five.
    • I absolutely LOVE the fact that McGinnity has not one, not two but three Baltimore Ravens running backs. I absolutely ADORE that two of these players are on the IR, yet only one is on the IR slot. McGinnity has six Baltimore Ravens on his fantasy football roster.

TEAMS ON A BYE: Green Bay Packers and Pittsburgh Steelers

STANDINGS

  • We have a new first place team. Congratulations to Steve Kultzow for taking over the top spot.
  • Mike Ritz climbs to second place and now Matthew Buzzi is sitting in the third place slot after having been the league leader for more than a few weeks.
  • McGinnity suffers the loss this week and falls down to fourth place.
  • Ronan moves up from fifth place after having been in eight place last week.
  • Lobo moves up one spot to sixth place and McLaughlin chips away to seventh place.
  • The final three in standings are now Ronan, Jimmy and myself. I have accepted my fate at the bottom, but I hope more for Ronan and Jimmy.

PUBLIC RELATIONS

“Fantastic team win. Revamped roster with some guys on byes. Kyle Pitts is pumped to now be on a winning team. Vibes are high in the locker room right now.”

Mike Ritz – Manager of Dirty Mike And The Boys

“Let’s burn one down Jimmy before the matchup because you’re going to be fried after.”

Christopher Lobo – Manager of Keke, Coutee Luv Me

“I’m glad my teams finally performing like I knew it would. Plenty of time left in the season and I expect to win out, barring injuries.”

Tom McLaughlin – Manager of My Glock Out

“To quote Deion Sanders, “WE’RE COMING”. Started off 0-2. Now 3-2. Projected to finished 9th. We’ve been keeping receipts.”

Tommy Simon – Manager of Across The Pond With London

“Another win, another achilles.”

Steve Kultzow – Manager of The Great Warren

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