PREAMBLE

Offenses remembered how to perform this week, for the most part. There are still some offensively prolific teams that haven’t found their mojo yet…yes I am talking about you Bengals. Come on Cincinnati, you are better than this.

Speaking of Cincinnati, there are severe injuries to be considered in the AFC North. Joe Burrow has re-aggravated his ankle, so his already sloppy start may be hampered even more going forward. After the Ravens lost their RB1 J.K. Dobbins in week one, the Browns lost Nick Chubb on Monday night football. And YIKES IT DID NOT LOOK GOOD. I saw it while in bed and I wish I hadn’t seen it. Also, when I told Emma that his name was “Nick Chubb” she immediately started giggling. We are all children.

Speaking of teams that haven’t found their offensive mojo…I will call myself out for having maybe the worst fantasy week of all time, especially for a team that didn’t have any injuries occur on Sunday itself. An anemic performance that has immediately given me nerves for my managerial ceiling.

One last overarching observation…no trades yet? We should change that. 

Onto week two.

WEEK 2 SCOREBOARD

  • Jimmy Simon is in the win column with a massive win and a great overall outing. T.J. Hockenson put him in front with 22.1 points on Thursday night. Tee Higgins managed to score 24.9 points despite Burrow not performing great. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers defense did its thing against Chicago scoring 19.0 points. There was zero sweat for Jimmy this week. Easy peasy, leon squeezy.
    • I have nothing to say about myself. Terrible week. Bury the tape and move forward.
  • Justin Jefferson is doing his thing for Lobo as the number one pick, but the rest of his team didn’t come through to upset Buzzi. Maybe he was hoping for a miraculous Monday night miracle from Deshaun Watson, but instead the Cleveland Brown quarterback reverted back to his 2022 self.  I will say that I have underestimated the impact that James Cook is having for Buffalo and Buzzi. That may be a huge snag for Buzzi. Buzzi is just a Buffalo Bills fan; Josh Allen, James Cook, Bills D/ST and Tyler Bass.
    • Honestly, the most valuable pick from the draft is Buzzi getting the Dallas Cowboys D/ST. The Silver Star’s have the second most fantasy points of ANYONE thus far this season. Buzzi in fact has the TWO top scorers this year through two weeks: Tyreek Hill and Dallas. That is probably a good reason he is 2-0.
  • Ronan is the only winner this week who sits below the Mendoza line in terms of points scored. If all things were fair, McGinnity would have won. You know what would have made his win even better? If he just swapped his bench for his starters. I still can not believe that Ronan’s bench outscored his entire starting line-up. It is still crazy to me.
    • McLaughlin didn’t have the blow-up game from Michael Pittman Jr. to help him win like last week. Ja’Marr Chase is still struggling with 12.2 points TOTAL thus far this season. Also, Tom, do you still buy George Kittle as a top fantasy tight end option? Currently he is on pace with Kyle Pitts, whom people consider a big-time bust.
  • You look at T-Si’s roster and it starts out SUPER strong with Lamar Jackson, Saquon Barkley and Brian Robinson Jr. After that…there is only one double-digit scorer. Shoutout DJ Moore. Steve had Jalen Hurts rebound to his normal fantasy self and the stack with DeVonta Smith is proving ever more fruitful. It also helped Steve that one of Lamar Jackson’s TDs went to Mark Andrews.
    • Neither defense wanted to perform for T-Si or Steve; the Packers had zero points and the New York Jets scored -1.0. I have a feeling the Jets will fare better against the Patriots in week three. Also both teams had one performer that just stunk the bed; Alexander Mattison scored only 3.4 points for Steve A.J. Brown scored only 4.9 points for Tommy.
  • Mike Ritz got the jump on Thursday night with Kirk Cousins going off for 28.56 points and then trekked his way to victory with extra cushion added by David Njoku on Monday night. It is interesting to compare the scoring style between Ritz’s and McGinnity’s teams. Ritz had the top tier ceiling guys like Cousins and Keenan Allen; who both ranked in the top seven of all players this week. Meanwhile McGinnity had a lot of consistent players like Justin Herbert, Christian McCaffrey, Kenneth Walker III and Christian Kirk.
    • McGinnity may have just had bad luck with the matchup here. The fact he has Justin Herbert is good for him…but when he is throwing it to Allen or Mike Williams the majority of the team…that really fucks you over. It benefits more to have the receivers of a big quarterback than the big quarterback themselves.

WEEK 2 ANALYTICS

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ADDITIONAL WEEK 2 STATISTICS

AVERAGE Margin Of Victory By Week
  • Week 1: 19.13
  • Week 2: 25.52
  • Average Margin Of Victory This Season Is 22.33
TOP FIVE WEEKLY TOTAL
  • 138.36 – Dirty Mike And The Boys
  • 133.08 – Jacob And Meyers Law Offices
  • 129.76 – Allen This Together
  • 127.26 – Ooooo Jeudy James Jeudy
  • 120.02 – The Great Warren
LOWEST FIVE WEEKLY TOTAL
  • 69.74 – Watson The Other Side Of The Door
  • 97.3 – Keke, Coutee Luv Me
  • 101.7 – My Glock Out
  • 111.98 – Across The Pond With London
  • 114.34 – Now You CeeDee, Now You Don’t
Average Team Totals Per Week
  • Week One: 106.91
  • Week Two: 114.35
  • Average Team Total This Season Is 110.63

WEEK 3 MATCHUPS

  • There is a lot riding on this week for Steve and I. We have bickered about whether or not the patriots are bad or garbage. We have bickered about the Jets ceiling, and as of 20 minutes ago Steve just accused the Patriots of killing someone. Now Steve has Garrett Wilson and the New York Jets on his team going up against me this week. It is going to be contentious.
    • The biggest question with this matchup between Steve and I is how many points would Steve be willing to lose in fantasy if he knew that the Jets would 100% beat the Patriots on Sunday?
  • Lobo is 1-1 but his season has to have been a struggle thus far. Week one he had Breece Hall running to the hills, but week two he gets no touches. Also there is Deshaun Watson who doesn’t seem to know what consistency is. Meanwhile McLaughlin is waiting for Ja’Marr Chase to wake up and jumpstart his offense which ranks bottom of the pack in our league.
    • We can’t make up our minds on the true potential for either Lobo or McLaughlin’s team because both have big-time offensive weapons that are not playing. McLaughlin is waiting for Kamara to replace A.J. Dillion in his lineup, and Lobo wants Jonathan Taylor and Jameson Williams both to come back ASAP.
  • Ritz is going to have a ton riding on the Los Angeles Chargers vs. Minnesota Vikings game; he has Kirk Cousins, Keenan Allen and Mike Williams all kicking off at 1 PM. While Ritz has had some bad medical luck of his own…Jimmy is griping about his fantasy team that has the hobbled Joe Burrow, the one-legged Nick Chubb, and the bruised David Mongomery.
    • This matchup looks to be coming down to the primetime games. Ritz has Davante Adams going on Sunday night, and right now Jimmy has Tee Higgins and Burrow going Monday night. Ritz will be waking up to either victory and defeat for his early Tuesday shift while Jimmy is going to stay up (I am willing to bet).
  • Tommy Simon is in desperate need of a win being the only winless team, but it looks like he is going to be without his top two running backs in his matchup against the undefeated Buzzi. No Saquon Barkley and Aaron Jones is going to be a tough hill to climb. Buzzi just wants to continue riding his early season win streak and not sweat too much.
    • It is another feather in Buzzi’s cap that he is 2-0 despite drafting Najee Harris who is becoming the biggest running back bust since Trent Richardson.
  • It is an interesting choice by McGinnity to not put J.K. Dobbins on an IR spot or just drop him since his chances of playing this year are minimal. But I digress. Both McGinnity and Roan will know if they are in good shape or not after Thursday night; Christian McCaffrey is running it up for McGinnity and Deebo Samuel is looking to cash in for McClorey.
    • I am going to be a meditating general manager here. Ronan, you have Justin Fields as a quarterback option with Dak Prescott on your bench. Depending on how you feel about the Dallas quarterback, you may look at trading for either Justin Herbert or Tua Tagovailoia on McGinnity’s roster.

TEAMS ON A BYE: NONE

STANDINGS

  • Buzzi is the only one with an unblemished record thus far, which tracks seeing how he has by far the most points scored and the second fewest points against.
  • T-Si is the only team that doesn’t have a win yet.
    • He has the fourth most points against him, and the eighth fewest points scored in the league.
  • There are two teams that have fewer than 200 points as a team thus far this season, and they are Ronan and I.
    • With my horrendous week this week I am at the bottom of the barrel in terms of points scored.
  • Very interesting to me that Jimmy is technically second in the league with the most points of a .500 team, but he has the same percentage chance to make the playoffs as me at 27%. Intriguing.
  • The top two teams in the league, Buzzi and Jimmy, are the top two most fortunate teams in terms of points being scored against them.

PUBLIC RELATIONS

“Feels mean to give a quote to the person I just buried. Mike Ritz, you’re next!”

Jimmy Simon – Manager of Jakobi and Meyers Law Offices

“Nice bounce back win for the team after last week. Thankfully it didn’t cost me having three 20+ scorers on the bench.”

Ronan McClorey – Manager of Now You CeeDee, Now You Don’t

“Onto week 3, beat the Patriots. I should probably pick up a new defense.”

Steve Kultzow – Manager of The Great Warren

“An organ is the only thing I lost this week.”

Michael Ritz – Manager of Dirty Mike And The Boys

“Always good to get one over on a coach who ran their mouth in preseason. Love the consistency so far, the guys off the bench gave me some decisions to make for next week.”

Matthew Buzzi – Manager of Allen This Together

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