I Wrote Too Much About “Transformers: Rise Of The Beasts”
HOW MANY TIMES DOES BUMBLEBEE NEED TO DIE IN A TRANSFORMERS MOVIE?? JESUS CHRIST.
Have You Ever Heard Of “Texas Killing Fields”?
The viewing experience of the Texas Killing Fields is like eating a canterbury Easter bunny. You look at the film’s IMDB page and it is hard not to get excited. The cast is full of recognizable names and the premise of the story seems bullet-proof. The film is based on a true story and seems to have the appropriate sense of scale. You want to bite into it and be showered in indulgence. However, this viewing adventure ends up being remarkably hollow and begins to crumble when pressure is applied.
“Sliver” Is A Hard Pass. Thanks For Nothing Billy Baldwin.
Sliver forces the audience to shy away from the screen because of its subject matter and how it goes about illustrating its debaucherous sleazy nature.
“Bones And All” Will Consume All Your Thoughts & Emotions
I never would have thought that I would be tearing up on the train watching a young man desperately pleading with his girlfriend while bleeding out on the floor of a dusty dorm apartment. I never would have thought this character uttering “eat me” would force me to cuddle up in a ball and hide my tear ducts.
“The Super Mario Bros. Movie” Achieves All Its Missions & Collects All The Coins
The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023) is meant for kids. Let’s get that out of the way right off the bat. If you think I am going to dissect an animated movie that was meant to make little kids scream and empty parents’ wallets, then you have another thing coming.
Russell Crowe Is Having A Blast In “The Pope’s Exorcist”
“Follow Gabriele Amorth, the Vatican’s leading exorcist, as he investigates the possession of a child and uncovers a conspiracy the Vatican has tried to keep secret.” Director: Julius AveryWriters: Michael […]
“Indiana Jones And The Dial Of Destiny” Sends An American Icon Out With Swashbuckling Grace
“Archaeologist Indiana Jones races against time to retrieve a legendary artifact that can change the course of history.” Director: James MangoldWriters: Jez Butterworth, John-Henry Butterworth, Philip Kaufman, George Lucas, James […]
“Thelma & Louis” Has One Of The Best Friendship Portrayals Ever
“Two best friends set out on an adventure, but it soon turns around to a terrifying escape from being hunted by the police, as these two girls escape for the […]
“Renfield” Is Demented, Deranged And A Great Bloody Surprise
Time to totally shut your brain off and enjoy a ton of mindless bloody violence. Yup, that is what Renfield (2023) is. You totally were expecting that, right?
Rev Your Engines And Get Gassed Up For “Ronin”
Ronin (1998) has everything you need to make a quality one-off action movie.
“Switchback” Hits The Brakes Just As It Gets Going
Switchback (1997) is a classic cat & mouse game with an aloof cop and a rambunctiously charismatic killer. The shocking part of the story is who plays what part.
“Maestro” Trailer Reaction
Maestro (2023) is staying in the musical realm, but changing the dynamic of the relationship. Cooper isn’t going to be playing the overshadowed former star. Instead, Cooper is going to be playing renowned musical talent Leonard Bernstein as he becomes one of the most iconic conductors of all time. The lens through which we will view many of Leonard’s actions is his wife Felecia, who will be played by two-time Oscar nominee Carey Mulligan.
“Heart Of Stone” Sticks With Disappointing Netflix & Gadot Tradition
“An intelligence operative for a shadowy global peacekeeping agency races to stop a hacker from stealing its most valuable and dangerous weapon.” Director: Tom HarperWriters: Greg Rucka, Allison SchroederStaring: Gal […]
“American Graffiti” Coats You With Innocence Lost
Before there was Star Wars. Before the billion dollar enterprise. Before the Jedi and the dark side, there was American Graffiti (1973). George Lucas’s breakout role in Hollywood was the furthest thing from science fiction. American Graffiti is a movie about nothing, yet about something existentially important. What are we doing with our lives? Who are we now, and who will we be later, and is there any correlation at all?
A Good Spy Thriller Is Timeless: “Three Days Of The Condor”
Three Days Of The Condor (1975) is a damn good spy thriller. It is not in the upper echelon of espionage movies, but neither is it just pure entertainment fodder. Director Sydney Pollack takes the star power of Robert Redford and portrays him as a common man in an uncommon situation. The plot provides twists and turns and Max von Sydow in a supporting role is a perfect amalgamation of an evil Jacques Clouseau.
“Saint Maud” Hands Out Scary Isolation Terror
Saint Maud (2021) is a movie that will fuck you up. Plain and simple.
Stanko's Stance 